So today I sit down and begin to watch a movie with Jason Statham in it. I figure, what the hell it should be alright.
Shortly into it I see a number of famous people... of course they are all b & c list stars... but none the less the number of them is impressive.
John Rhys-Davies
Ron Perlman
Claire Forlani
Ray Liotta
Matthew Lillard
Kristanna Loken
Burt Reynolds
Gabrielle Rose
Leelee Sobieski
So I watch...
The theme starts to become familiar to me, and I start to realize that I am watching Dungeon Siege. So I actually start to really get into the theme since I recently replayed the game and was up for some Krug killing.
Now that it is over I can officially state that it sucked. As the final battle was raging, I was thinking... who the fuck directed this piece of shit that has so many good actors and actresses? How is it that they all seem so unnatural? And why are there ninjas fighting at the front lines of the battlefield?
Then I saw it. The credits began to roll.
DIRECTOR: UWE BOLL
PRODUCER: UWE BOLL
Only that fucking idiot could have made a decent movie into a pile of crap.
Uwe Boll, you are a mother fucker.
ReeperTheSeeker
Joined: Aug 26 2007
Posts: 2752
Posted:
Jan 04 2009 08:17 pm
I have yet to see a boll movie, should i keep my sanity in shake of missing the lols of how bad they are?
Links, pics, vids . . . I shall post these when given the chance
Transformers 2 Review: ". . . Did i mention SHIT BLOWS UP?!!!"
username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16127
Posted:
Jan 04 2009 09:14 pm
GPFontaine wrote:
So today I sit down and begin to watch a movie with Jason Statham in it. I figure, what the hell it should be alright.
Shortly into it I see a number of famous people... of course they are all b & c list stars... but none the less the number of them is impressive.
John Rhys-Davies
Ron Perlman
Claire Forlani
Ray Liotta
Matthew Lillard
Kristanna Loken
Burt Reynolds
Gabrielle Rose
Leelee Sobieski
So I watch...
The theme starts to become familiar to me, and I start to realize that I am watching Dungeon Siege. So I actually start to really get into the theme since I recently replayed the game and was up for some Krug killing.
Now that it is over I can officially state that it sucked. As the final battle was raging, I was thinking... who the fuck directed this piece of shit that has so many good actors and actresses? How is it that they all seem so unnatural? And why are there ninjas fighting at the front lines of the battlefield?
Then I saw it. The credits began to roll.
DIRECTOR: UWE BOLL
PRODUCER: UWE BOLL
Only that fucking idiot could have made a decent movie into a pile of crap.
Uwe Boll, you are a mother fucker.
im actually surprised you didnt know he directed that abortion.
i never seen any of boll's movies either, but i never ate batteries either. and i know they're both bad for you
Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
Posted:
Jan 04 2009 09:33 pm
I got this movie for free shortly before Christmas. The husband of one of my mom's coworkers constantly buys movies and immediately opens them. Then he realizes he already bought that movie, so he gives them to his wife to bring into work and put up for grabs. So then a week before Christmas, my mom comes home with the award-winning movie Crash and fucking Dungeon Siege. I have yet to watch it. I hear that Liotta fucking awful in it.
So then a week before Christmas, my mom comes home with the award-winning movie Crash and fucking Dungeon Siege. I have yet to watch it. I hear that Liotta fucking awful in it.
For a second I thought you said Crank instead of Crash. I loved Crank... never saw Crash.
But more on the point, no actor or actress in that movie did a good job at any point. It was as if they were purposefully fucking their gestures and actions up on purpose.
The worst offender was actually Matthew Lillard. You could see it in his eyes. He was trying to convey, "This is me acting poorly because I am being directed to do so." I never would expect him to be a good actor, but that gives him more reason than anyone else to try.
Kojjiro!
Joined: Feb 16 2008
Posts: 832
Posted:
Jan 04 2009 11:19 pm
whoah, John Rhys Davies was in it? whrere?
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
Posted:
Jan 04 2009 11:25 pm
Kojjiro! wrote:
whoah, John Rhys Davies was in it? whrere?
He plays the Magus, Merick. Poorly I may add.
DrBoll
Joined: Jun 21 2008
Posts: 36
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 10:45 am
so now the GPFONTAINE is saying that IN THE NAME OF THE KING was the shit... he could do better.
so do it! go ahead raise the money and get your movie made and released despite the HOLLYWOOD SYSTEM trying to stop you and do decent business in the home video and THEN tell me that i suck.
we had the MAJOR stars in that one like the BURT REYNOLDS and RAY FUCKING LIOTTA. JOHN RHYS DAVIS is "oh he's so great" when hes playing a fucking dwarf in that LORD OF THE RINGS bullshit but when he does the SAME THING for me you LOSERS say that hes shit.
and everyone is FINE with jason statham in his transporter movies but he stars in mine and suddenly you make the fun of him like he cant act! he did the SAME THING for me! are you so stupid as to see this? are so you DELUSIONAL?
its you who are scared because i consistently get better with each movie leading to POSTAL which was TOO CONTROVERSIAL for the fucking theaters to put it in so we had to rely on the dvd and bluray. and FAR CRY did fine overseas and the US is being too picky because they need to put fucking megan fox in every screen they can. shes hot but shes BORING and has nothing to say.
go enjoy your TRANSFORMERS 2 and FOURTH wolverine movie and not your WATCHMEN because fox wont let it come out.
ReeperTheSeeker
Joined: Aug 26 2007
Posts: 2752
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 11:05 am
DrBoll wrote:
so now the GPFONTAINE is saying that IN THE NAME OF THE KING was the shit... he could do better.
so do it! go ahead raise the money and get your movie made and released despite the HOLLYWOOD SYSTEM trying to stop you and do decent business in the home video and THEN tell me that i suck.
we had the MAJOR stars in that one like the BURT REYNOLDS and RAY FUCKING LIOTTA. JOHN RHYS DAVIS is "oh he's so great" when hes playing a fucking dwarf in that LORD OF THE RINGS bullshit but when he does the SAME THING for me you LOSERS say that hes shit.
and everyone is FINE with jason statham in his transporter movies but he stars in mine and suddenly you make the fun of him like he cant act! he did the SAME THING for me! are you so stupid as to see this? are so you DELUSIONAL?
its you who are scared because i consistently get better with each movie leading to POSTAL which was TOO CONTROVERSIAL for the fucking theaters to put it in so we had to rely on the dvd and bluray. and FAR CRY did fine overseas and the US is being too picky because they need to put fucking megan fox in every screen they can. shes hot but shes BORING and has nothing to say.
go enjoy your TRANSFORMERS 2 and FOURTH wolverine movie and not your WATCHMEN because fox wont let it come out.
I was wondering when you were going to show up
Links, pics, vids . . . I shall post these when given the chance
Transformers 2 Review: ". . . Did i mention SHIT BLOWS UP?!!!"
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 12:43 pm
DrBoll wrote:
so now the GPFONTAINE is saying that IN THE NAME OF THE KING was the shit... he could do better.
so do it! go ahead raise the money and get your movie made and released despite the HOLLYWOOD SYSTEM trying to stop you and do decent business in the home video and THEN tell me that i suck.
we had the MAJOR stars in that one like the BURT REYNOLDS and RAY FUCKING LIOTTA. JOHN RHYS DAVIS is "oh he's so great" when hes playing a fucking dwarf in that LORD OF THE RINGS bullshit but when he does the SAME THING for me you LOSERS say that hes shit.
and everyone is FINE with jason statham in his transporter movies but he stars in mine and suddenly you make the fun of him like he cant act! he did the SAME THING for me! are you so stupid as to see this? are so you DELUSIONAL?
its you who are scared because i consistently get better with each movie leading to POSTAL which was TOO CONTROVERSIAL for the fucking theaters to put it in so we had to rely on the dvd and bluray. and FAR CRY did fine overseas and the US is being too picky because they need to put fucking megan fox in every screen they can. shes hot but shes BORING and has nothing to say.
go enjoy your TRANSFORMERS 2 and FOURTH wolverine movie and not your WATCHMEN because fox wont let it come out.
My 3rd grade class had its presentation "The Trouble in Toothopolis" filmed by some happy parent. I am pretty sure that video was better than this one. It took no budget and no famous actors, yet it received a better response than your piece of shit.
How does a no talent idiot of a director/producer get so many brand name actors anyways? Something tells me that you are part of the mob... no other explanation would make sense of your continued career.
As for Megan Fox, my guess is that she would probably help your movie out. Who am I kidding... you would dress her up in a Rancor outfit and then have her fight against 10 ninjas while swimming through a swamp and eating poisoned cupcakes. Of course that scene would have nothing to do with anything else in the movie because you clearly have no plot direction whatsoever.
Does it hurt?
What I mean is... does it hurt to suck so bad at life?
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 12:54 pm
GPFontaine wrote:
The worst offender was actually Matthew Lillard.
FUN FACT: Matthew Lillard is terrible in everything, and everything he's in is terrible. This begs the question: Is Matthew Lillard only cast in terrible movies, or does Mathhew Lillard make every movie he's cast in terrible?
so now the GPFONTAINE is saying that IN THE NAME OF THE KING was the shit... he could do better.
so do it! go ahead raise the money and get your movie made and released despite the HOLLYWOOD SYSTEM trying to stop you and do decent business in the home video and THEN tell me that i suck.
we had the MAJOR stars in that one like the BURT REYNOLDS and RAY FUCKING LIOTTA. JOHN RHYS DAVIS is "oh he's so great" when hes playing a fucking dwarf in that LORD OF THE RINGS bullshit but when he does the SAME THING for me you LOSERS say that hes shit.
and everyone is FINE with jason statham in his transporter movies but he stars in mine and suddenly you make the fun of him like he cant act! he did the SAME THING for me! are you so stupid as to see this? are so you DELUSIONAL?
its you who are scared because i consistently get better with each movie leading to POSTAL which was TOO CONTROVERSIAL for the fucking theaters to put it in so we had to rely on the dvd and bluray. and FAR CRY did fine overseas and the US is being too picky because they need to put fucking megan fox in every screen they can. shes hot but shes BORING and has nothing to say.
go enjoy your TRANSFORMERS 2 and FOURTH wolverine movie and not your WATCHMEN because fox wont let it come out.
My 3rd grade class had its presentation "The Trouble in Toothopolis" filmed by some happy parent. I am pretty sure that video was better than this one. It took no budget and no famous actors, yet it received a better response than your piece of shit.
How does a no talent idiot of a director/producer get so many brand name actors anyways? Something tells me that you are part of the mob... no other explanation would make sense of your continued career.
As for Megan Fox, my guess is that she would probably help your movie out. Who am I kidding... you would dress her up in a Rancor outfit and then have her fight against 10 ninjas while swimming through a swamp and eating poisoned cupcakes. Of course that scene would have nothing to do with anything else in the movie because you clearly have no plot direction whatsoever.
Does it hurt?
What I mean is... does it hurt to suck so bad at life?
GP, i'm sadden by you. You just gave in to a troll.
Besides i think Dr. Boll is nothing more then a gag account set up by a regular on the forums, like Space fury and his "You we're an easy opponent" gag.
Although now that i think of it, that scene with Megan Fox would be awesome, even if it was in an Uwe Boll movie.
Links, pics, vids . . . I shall post these when given the chance
Transformers 2 Review: ". . . Did i mention SHIT BLOWS UP?!!!"
DrBoll
Joined: Jun 21 2008
Posts: 36
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 01:36 pm
so you are seeing that MICHAEL BAY SUCKS and what i want to do to him and his TRANSFORMERS 2 bullshit.
ReeperTheSeeker
Joined: Aug 26 2007
Posts: 2752
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 01:42 pm
DrBoll wrote:
so you are seeing that MICHAEL BAY SUCKS and what i want to do to him and his TRANSFORMERS 2 bullshit.
That's our BOLL!!!! Gigg-a-die Gigg-a-die goo!!!
Links, pics, vids . . . I shall post these when given the chance
Transformers 2 Review: ". . . Did i mention SHIT BLOWS UP?!!!"
Tyop
Title: Grammar Nazi
Joined: May 04 2008
Location: Sauerkrautland
Posts: 1414
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 02:00 pm
ReeperTheSeeker wrote:
Besides i think Dr. Boll is nothing more then a gag account set up by a regular on the forums, like Space fury and his "You we're an easy opponent" gag.
But Space Fury never actually does anything. He just declares victory over his enemies. DrBoll on the other hand already killed greeneyedzeke. He's much more dangerous than Space Fury.
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 02:12 pm
Tyop wrote:
ReeperTheSeeker wrote:
Besides i think Dr. Boll is nothing more then a gag account set up by a regular on the forums, like Space fury and his "You we're an easy opponent" gag.
But Space Fury never actually does anything. He just declares victory over his enemies. DrBoll on the other hand already killed greeneyedzeke. He's much more dangerous than Space Fury.
I have actually begun to research the death of Greeneyedzeke. I am pretty sure that it is a cover up at the root of a larger conspiracy.
greeneyedzeke
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Posts: 287
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 02:31 pm
So, as someone who has a bit of a history with Uwe Boll films, I felt the need to weigh in here.
Thus, I present to you...
GREENEYEDZEKE'S GUIDE TO UWE BOLL'S VIDEO GAME MOVIES
**Disclaimer**This is video game movies only, so I won't be addressing things like "German Fried Movie", "Seed", or "Tunnel Rats".
1. HOUSE OF THE DEAD (2003)- Dr. Boll has publicly spoken out against this one himself. He basically shifts the blame to Sega. Go to 6:36 in this clip:
"On 'House of the Dead' of course was absolutely not my movie..."
That should tell you all you need to know. I mean, it's a high concept idea... a tropical island rave turns into a zombie bloodbath and only a bunch of no-name plastic actors (and Jurgen Prochnow) can save the day. To pad out the running time, clips from the ACTUAL VIDEO GAMES are used during the climactic gun battle. Exhibit:
This cinematic masterpiece was followed up by...
2. ALONE IN THE DARK (2005)- Christian Slater stars as Edward Carnby in a high-octane completely-unrelated-to-anything-in-any-of-the-games thriller co-starring Stephen Dorf and Tara Reid as a famed archaeologist/love interest.
That right there damns this picture. Tara Reid as a scientist.
Observe at 36 seconds:
"New. FOUND. Land."
Fail.
Also, the action scenes are basically direct-bursts of strobe lighting direct to your fucking brain. Go to 1:08:
Dr. Boll wants us to feel the artistry of having his scene only lit by flashes of gunfire, but the end result is disorienting and aggravating.
3. BLOODYRAYNE (also in 2005)
Compared to his previous two video game movies, this one is a motherfucking masterpiece. He corrals Kristanna Lokken, Michael Madsen, and SIR BEN KINGSLEY into a tale of medieval vampire violence and corruption.
What were you thinking when you accepted a role in Bloodrayne? —It's hard to imagine someone so gifted not realizing what a terrible film that would be! Shane O'Sullivan AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND
I don't know whether to be upset or flattered by that question. To be honest, I have always wanted to play a vampire, with the teeth and the long black cape. Let's say that my motives were somewhat immature for doing it.
Also! BloodRayne had an extended cameo from "Titanic" and "Demon Knight" sensation Billy Zane in a horrible wig!
Apparently more than certain that the brilliant piece of cinema known as BloodRayne was done in by poor marketing and lazy distribution, Dr. Uwe Boll has filed suit against Billy Zane and his Romar Entertainment for their downright ineptitude where the flick's theatrical release is concerned.
Yeah, they realized how awful it was and pulled shit-tons of the screens. By the way, this is the only Boll film I actually got to see in a theater. My girlfriend willingly went with me, even after I warned her that she couldn't possibly comprehend how bad it would be.
She still refuses to talk about it.
4. BLOODRAYNE 2: DELIVERANCE (2007 - direct to DVD)
Kristanna Lokken said "no, hell no..." and some other chick starred in this direct-to-dvd sequel that changes the setting to the old west (I don't know either...). I'm ashamed to say that I haven't seen this one yet.
5. IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE (2008 in the U.S.)
This is Boll's grand opus, boasting a cast that includes Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, Lelee Sobieski, Kristanna Lokken (they filmed before she said "hell no" to further Boll projects), Ron Pearlman, John Rhys Davies, Mathew Lillard, Jason Statham, and Claire Forlani. It's also 2-1/2 hours long (cut down from more than 3...). It feels longer than the extended edition of "Return of the King". Honest to fuckin' God.
JUST WATCH THESE AWESOME BLUESCREEN EFFECTS (first thirty seconds, hanging over the gorge...)
6. POSTAL (2008 in U.S.)
I haven't seen this one, either. In any event, the bully from "A Christmas Story" goes mental and fights fully-frontal Dave Foley. Verne Troyer dresses up in a penis suit and a cat is used as a gun silencer. Boll also challenged five internet critics to boxing matches and beat them all up (he used to BE a boxer). I know that "Lowtax" from Something Awful has a bunch of detailed reports about the event.
Here's a promotional clip he did about it:
I mean, good call on Indiana Jones, but seriously...?
7. POSTAL (has this even come OUT in the U.S.? I don't think so...)
Here are a couple of clips, one a behind-the-scenes promo, the other a rousing trailer...
"Absolutely not! I don't know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing. We've never talked to him. It's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him."
"I got in contact with Paul Sams of Blizzard [about a World of Warcraft film] and he said, 'We will not sell the movie rights, not to you...especially not to you,'" Boll informed MTV News.
"Because it's such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income."
ZEKE'S FAVORITE BOLL MOVIE-REVIEW SOUNDBYTE
Slant Magazine:
Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV.
Thank you and good night.
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 02:48 pm
Wow... so you are alive.
Unfortunately you have been tortured into learning all about Uwe Boll's movies. I am so sorry.
ReeperTheSeeker
Joined: Aug 26 2007
Posts: 2752
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 02:53 pm
greeneyedzeke wrote:
So, as someone who has a bit of a history with Uwe Boll films, I felt the need to weigh in here.
Thus, I present to you...
GREENEYEDZEKE'S GUIDE TO UWE BOLL'S VIDEO GAME MOVIES
**Disclaimer**This is video game movies only, so I won't be addressing things like "German Fried Movie", "Seed", or "Tunnel Rats".
1. HOUSE OF THE DEAD (2003)- Dr. Boll has publicly spoken out against this one himself. He basically shifts the blame to Sega. Go to 6:36 in this clip:
"On 'House of the Dead' of course was absolutely not my movie..."
That should tell you all you need to know. I mean, it's a high concept idea... a tropical island rave turns into a zombie bloodbath and only a bunch of no-name plastic actors (and Jurgen Prochnow) can save the day. To pad out the running time, clips from the ACTUAL VIDEO GAMES are used during the climactic gun battle. Exhibit:
This cinematic masterpiece was followed up by...
2. ALONE IN THE DARK (2005)- Christian Slater stars as Edward Carnby in a high-octane completely-unrelated-to-anything-in-any-of-the-games thriller co-starring Stephen Dorf and Tara Reid as a famed archaeologist/love interest.
That right there damns this picture. Tara Reid as a scientist.
Observe at 36 seconds:
"New. FOUND. Land."
Fail.
Also, the action scenes are basically direct-bursts of strobe lighting direct to your fucking brain. Go to 1:08:
Dr. Boll wants us to feel the artistry of having his scene only lit by flashes of gunfire, but the end result is disorienting and aggravating.
3. BLOODYRAYNE (also in 2005)
Compared to his previous two video game movies, this one is a motherfucking masterpiece. He corrals Kristanna Lokken, Michael Madsen, and SIR BEN KINGSLEY into a tale of medieval vampire violence and corruption.
What were you thinking when you accepted a role in Bloodrayne? —It's hard to imagine someone so gifted not realizing what a terrible film that would be! Shane O'Sullivan AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND
I don't know whether to be upset or flattered by that question. To be honest, I have always wanted to play a vampire, with the teeth and the long black cape. Let's say that my motives were somewhat immature for doing it.
Also! BloodRayne had an extended cameo from "Titanic" and "Demon Knight" sensation Billy Zane in a horrible wig!
Apparently more than certain that the brilliant piece of cinema known as BloodRayne was done in by poor marketing and lazy distribution, Dr. Uwe Boll has filed suit against Billy Zane and his Romar Entertainment for their downright ineptitude where the flick's theatrical release is concerned.
Yeah, they realized how awful it was and pulled shit-tons of the screens. By the way, this is the only Boll film I actually got to see in a theater. My girlfriend willingly went with me, even after I warned her that she couldn't possibly comprehend how bad it would be.
She still refuses to talk about it.
4. BLOODRAYNE 2: DELIVERANCE (2007 - direct to DVD)
Kristanna Lokken said "no, hell no..." and some other chick starred in this direct-to-dvd sequel that changes the setting to the old west (I don't know either...). I'm ashamed to say that I haven't seen this one yet.
5. IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE (2008 in the U.S.)
This is Boll's grand opus, boasting a cast that includes Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, Lelee Sobieski, Kristanna Lokken (they filmed before she said "hell no" to further Boll projects), Ron Pearlman, John Rhys Davies, Mathew Lillard, Jason Statham, and Claire Forlani. It's also 2-1/2 hours long (cut down from more than 3...). It feels longer than the extended edition of "Return of the King". Honest to fuckin' God.
JUST WATCH THESE AWESOME BLUESCREEN EFFECTS (first thirty seconds, hanging over the gorge...)
6. POSTAL (2008 in U.S.)
I haven't seen this one, either. In any event, the bully from "A Christmas Story" goes mental and fights fully-frontal Dave Foley. Verne Troyer dresses up in a penis suit and a cat is used as a gun silencer. Boll also challenged five internet critics to boxing matches and beat them all up (he used to BE a boxer). I know that "Lowtax" from Something Awful has a bunch of detailed reports about the event.
Here's a promotional clip he did about it:
I mean, good call on Indiana Jones, but seriously...?
7. POSTAL (has this even come OUT in the U.S.? I don't think so...)
Here are a couple of clips, one a behind-the-scenes promo, the other a rousing trailer...
"Absolutely not! I don't know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing. We've never talked to him. It's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him."
"I got in contact with Paul Sams of Blizzard [about a World of Warcraft film] and he said, 'We will not sell the movie rights, not to you...especially not to you,'" Boll informed MTV News.
"Because it's such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income."
ZEKE'S FAVORITE BOLL MOVIE-REVIEW SOUNDBYTE
Slant Magazine:
Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV.
Thank you and good night.
my iq dropped about 20 thoused pooonits afriter ahteejfb fnnbnmbv nmsbjjkbsbvbhjs
Sorry about that, my brain was rejecting the Bollsyness and i had an exorcist moment. Seriously, that video where he encourages people not to watch his movie, he sounded more like: Goo uhead, I dare u to see dis movie!
Links, pics, vids . . . I shall post these when given the chance
Transformers 2 Review: ". . . Did i mention SHIT BLOWS UP?!!!"
DrBoll
Joined: Jun 21 2008
Posts: 36
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 03:31 pm
to the GREENEYEDZEKE who is making fun of my movies
i say to you what i said to GPFONTAINE
you do better
if you HATE my movies SO much then why are you as the encyclopedia about me? are you OBSESSED with me? are you JEALOUS?
FAR CRY cant get a release because assholes like BILLY ZANE refuse to let my movies be brought out on the right numbers of screens so i get a bad reputation
no one knows sarcasm? i was being patton to make a point.
Shut up, Dorn
Title: White Chocolate
Joined: Jan 04 2008
Location: Grate Whyte Norf
Posts: 1179
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 04:33 pm
Oh haha, Dr. Suck, I havent even seen one of your movies or heard of most of them and I think you are an idiot.
I dont even care if you arent really Uwe Boll, I just think the real Uwe Boll cant take a hint.
Give him the Lions treatment: dont go to his movies, dont give him any attention other than to let him know how much dick he sucks.
Who the hell is even named Uwe? How the hell do you fucking say it?
Take a hint, Uwe, your movies suck enormous donkey dick and you are like the Matt Millen of making movies. Your films make the shit that comes out of my own ass look like pure gold.
Id rather glue my own dick shut then watch your movies, AND I HAVENT EVEN SEEN A SINGLE ONE.
OUT.
jprime
Title: Ex-GameWinners
Joined: Jan 27 2008
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 6733
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 05:21 pm
Shut up, Dorn wrote:
Who the hell is even named Uwe? How the hell do you fucking say it?
It's a German name, pronounced oo-fuh.
IceWarm
Joined: Dec 22 2008
Location: Breckenridge, Colorado
Posts: 1691
Posted:
Jan 05 2009 05:43 pm
Postal is the only decent Uwe Boll movie I've watched.
"Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it’s because they sat there that they were able to do it."
"Fighting in a basement offers a lot of difficulties, number one being, you're fighting in a basement."
