I may have told this story before. There were a bunch of car break-ins in my town that lasted for a couple of weeks. I had a couple of ideas.

The first idea would cost a couple of bucks and some time, but would be a good prank. Take a blank CD, record a personal message from you to the thieves telling them to give it up. You are onto them and you know who else is in on it and if they don't apologize, you're going to the cops. Write Metallica or some other popular band on the CD so they're more likely to steal it. Copy it to several different CDs. Leave your CD case (preferably an older one you don't use anymore) sitting in the front seat open and inviting. Take all other possessions out of the car. Leave the windows down and hope the take it. You wouldn't know their reaction, but it would be just fun to fuck with the criminal's heads a little.

I probably wouldn't do this because it is too much work and the probably wouldn't hit my car anyways. The second idea, we were actually thinking about doing.

The second idea was to get some guys and wait in the back of my old SUV. The back windows were tinted and almost impossible to see through in the dark. Put a sheet or curtain of some sort between the seats and the back. Have a stock of frozen paintballs with our high power semi-automatics. Park in a strategic location likely to get robbed. Wait. Leave the windows down and doors unlocked. If they try to break in, jump out and shoot the shit out of them.

The only reason we didn't do the last one was because the odds of them actually picking the neighborhood we parked in probably weren't good and we probably wouldn't want to wait all night. Otherwise, we would have done it. If I had my DS and portable DVD back then, I probably would have.

What you need is some sort of clever scheme to catch 'em. One of the best examples of this is the guy who invented a fire alarm that when pulled tags the hand of whoever pulled it. Can you imagine being the first guy who had this happen after pulling a false alarm?

I attempted something similar when I worked at Wal-Mart. Somebody kept spraypainting a smiley face on my overstock bin in the backroom. Everyday, I had to clean it off. The next day, it was usually back. I recruited somebody from the evening and overnight shift to help determine the timeframe. Since we weren't a 24 hour store, we figured it had to be somebody on the overnight crew.

I actually had an idea to rig the spray paint can that they were using (shelf paint I kept in my bin) to rig the cap so it would not only spray, but also spray out of the backside through a tiny hole as well. I'm not sure how hard that would have been. That and I didn't have time because the assholes overnight were too busy doing things like tagging my bin to get their work done, so I had extra work to do every day. My boss wanted to put up a dummy camera to deter them. I wanted to catch them. It eventually stopped after one of the slackers got fired.

Mario Buster:Buster Mario wrote:

Whose going to fire god? Honestly. quick one of you brainiacs say some snarky bullshit. hopefully me setting the stage won't constipate your mental facilities.

Nobody is gonna fire God. But I do suppose if he was dissatisfied with his own performance, he could releave himself from his position.