The respected psychologist Carl Jung once stated the following: "The ability to quote pop culture is what separates us from dogs." At least, I'm pretty sure it was him. If it wasn't, he's fucking dead, so there's really nothing he can do to stop me from attributing the quote to him. And regardless, whether Carl Jung really used this himself or I made it two minutes ago, it's absolutely true. When two dogs meet, they sniff each others' asses to determine whether or not they are friend or foe. With the notable exception of San Franciscans, people have evolved past such callous practices. Instead, we determine whether or not another human being is worthy or our attentions by testing them with pop culture quotes and references. For example, when you move into you first college dorm you might quote Family Guy to break the ice with your roommate. This will be effective in easing any tensions, because even complete douchebags like Family Guy. However, such quotes will be ineffective be ineffective in gauging your overall compatibility with this individual. For that, you will have to start slowly moving away from present pop culture and into the pop culture of the recent past.

A typical progression might be The 40 Year- Old Virgin, Seinfeld, the good seasons of The Simpsons, Billy Madison, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and finally Labyrinth. If the other individual is able to match you quote for quote in your pop culture of choice, friendship is immediately at hand. If they are not, your future interactions may be considerably less pleasant. This lesson holds true within specialized communities as well, so a Magic: The Gathering player who stares blankly at his peers while they discuss cards printed before 2003 is likely to be ostracized from the group. Videos games are also not the exception.

Woe be to the gamer whose gaming life started with the PlayStation 2 and who remains blissfully unaware of the things that came before; you will be ripped to shreds on the first video game forum you join. But that doesn't have to be the case. You still have time to learn, and I have compiled this list of NES quotes to help you do so or just that.

So what are we going to learn today? Hopefully nothing. If you consider yourself to be a serious gamer, then you should already know all or most of these classic NES quotes. Of course, there's a chance you might have forgotten some of them over the years, so consider this your refresher course. And if you're a newer gamer who missed out on the whole NES era, then welcome to Introduction to Video Games. This is a full credit college course. There will be three exams during the semester. You will also be required to type a ten page paper, which must be handed in on or before the the final day of class.