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Posted: Sep 23 2008 10:55 pm

I haven't decided if I want to be social, or "happy" just yet...

Two of my best friends died in a car accident. The thing is I was suppose to be in the vehicle with them but my girlfriend said she wanted to meet me out, right before we got into the car, I told them I would meet up with them later. On their way home they got sideswiped on the highway and the car flipped across the highway where another car hit them.

If my girlfriend didn't call me I wouldn't be here today. It's been over 3 weeks and I still can't function normally. I know I can't blame myself for it but had I just went with them...I keep thinking maybe I would have caused them to alter something. That's my problem...I haven't really talked to anyone, or mentioned it to anyone else. Nor am I sure I really want to. Just airing out my dirty laundry to you guys. This is whats bothering Dan, not Douche.

Posted: Sep 23 2008 11:03 pm

Wow.

I don't think you are looking for advice, so I won't give you any.

My condolences Dan.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

Douche McCallister wrote:

I haven't decided if I want to be social, or "happy" just yet...

Two of my best friends died in a car accident. The thing is I was suppose to be in the vehicle with them but my girlfriend said she wanted to meet me out, right before we got into the car, I told them I would meet up with them later. On their way home they got sideswiped on the highway and the car flipped across the highway where another car hit them.

If my girlfriend didn't call me I wouldn't be here today. It's been over 3 weeks and I still can't function normally. I know I can't blame myself for it but had I just went with them...I keep thinking maybe I would have caused them to alter something. That's my problem...I haven't really talked to anyone, or mentioned it to anyone else. Nor am I sure I really want to. Just airing out my dirty laundry to you guys. This is whats bothering Dan, not Douche.

Dear god... that is awful. I am so sorry to hear this man.

Joined: Oct 12 2007 Posts: 821

I am sorry for your loss

Joined: Feb 24 2006 Posts: 2578

Damn, I'm sorry, man. That's terrible.

Joined: Sep 22 2008 Posts: 289

I know that I'm the new guy, but still: I'm so sorry, dude. That's terrible. My condolences and prayers.

Posted: Sep 23 2008 11:24 pm

I'm sorry that happened man. I'd be shaken up really badly too.

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Sep 23 2008 11:25 pm

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that.

It's survivor's guilt, man, and it sucks. I suggest sitting down with a therapist for a few sessions. Some counseling can help you through this.

Posted: Sep 24 2008 03:23 pm

I'm really sorry about that, man. I hope you find someone to talk to about it.

Posted: Sep 24 2008 03:41 pm

I'm sorry too. Sad

I would suggest grief counseling.

Posted: Sep 24 2008 03:46 pm

I'm so sorry to hear that. Take as much time as you need to get through this...this is serious shit. Like was said earlier, it would be a good idea to speak with a therapist.

If you need anything from us, we'd be more than happy to help you out in any way possible. My thoughts are with you, buddy.

Docinsano's Channel 63 · Posted: Sep 24 2008 06:16 pm

Man, that really sucks. One of my best friends died in an accident too. He was a first responder and got into an accident on the way to a call. It really sucks that I will never get to hang out with him again, but I did have a dream that offered closure: I dreamt that he and a bunch of other people (who I assumed were friends of mine) were in front of me. I started to say "But I thought you were.." He cut me off and said "That's what we wanted you to think" Kind of a weird dream, but it offered closure for me. I feel we will meet up in the afterlife. I sometimes regret not spending as much time with him when I was doing my own thing during college, but unless someone makes a time machine, I have to live with the memories that I have in my head.

Posted: Sep 24 2008 10:00 pm

That's awful.

I'm sorry that happened. Sad

Posted: Sep 24 2008 10:13 pm

i aint gonna lie, thats a heavy thing that landed on your plate yo.

cant say anything about it really. damn yo

Posted: Oct 24 2008 11:07 pm

With the combination of this and the recent occurences with the now ex g/f. I decided to look into getting some therapy. I have been exceptionally depressed as of late (not eating much, getting drunk whenever possible). Has anyone gone to therapy before. Is there a certain type I should look for? Please no copypasta in this I'm actually looking for honest answers.

Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

I went to a psychatrist a couple times and i think therapy once.

its no big deal i just played with the objects they had out and talked

Posted: Oct 24 2008 11:30 pm

no therapy ever.

just read and write is what i do.

and group therapy with friends, since i usually have some friends that have gone thru some shit. at least i know my friends will be honest

Joined: Oct 12 2007 Posts: 821

Since I went to therapy for a different problem and for a different age group, the only thing I have to say is, just because your therapist might make you uncomfortable, doesn't mean you should quit. Therapy is probably going to be uncomfortable for awhile, talking about things is never comfortable, but you have to stick with it.

Posted: Oct 25 2008 08:09 pm

I agree with nihilisticglee.
Search around, ask people you know (if you can) or go to the hospital of your choice and ask there. They are helpful and many times have an in-house psychiatrist. If not, they will direct you to a place were you can easily get help.
Good luck.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

Douche McCallister wrote:

With the combination of this and the recent occurences with the now ex g/f. I decided to look into getting some therapy. I have been exceptionally depressed as of late (not eating much, getting drunk whenever possible). Has anyone gone to therapy before. Is there a certain type I should look for? Please no copypasta in this I'm actually looking for honest answers.

Douche,

I have gone to therapy many times in my life. I have a few suggestions for you that I hope will lead you in the right direction.

First of all, knowing that you need therapy is a good place to start. Begin by looking through your health insurance provider's list of therapists.

I would suggest you look for a clinical social worker or psychologist. Psychiatrists are hit or miss. Many of them like to push drugs and that might not be the best place to start.

The first few sessions usually suck. You feel like you have a billion things to say and only 45-60 minutes to get it out. You will feel judged and you won't enjoy it.

But it is worth sticking with it and really being honest. You will eventually start to become comfortable and when you drop your guard a little, they can actually help you out.

It is also important that the person fit the criteria that you expect in a medical professional. Age, sex, race, etc. If you aren't comfortable, switch. I'm not promoting being a bigot, but I am telling you that you need to enter your comfort zone rather than be put out of it. I had a therapist that I stayed with for a year who I felt didn't get me. He was too old to understand my life.

I hope this helps man.

Posted: Oct 26 2008 04:18 am

and to fix what i wrote earlier, i wasnt trying to say dont go to therapy, i just meant to say that i never gone to therapy myself.

that usually my therapy is either, reading, writing, or just having a round robin group therapy session w/my friends.

if your insurance can cover your therapy, and if you can get time off work (fmla or loa) then go for it. it cant hurt, and at least you can give it a shot, and as always, GP has some great advice.