SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic - Michael Bay shits on your childhood again

Posted: Mar 19 2012 11:22 am

There's a new TMNT movie coming out from Michael Bay. In it, the turtles aren't turtles, they're aliens. That is all.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 12:23 pm

Well look on the bright side, at least that's 12 bucks you won't have to spend at the theater.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 12:51 pm

Anddddddd.....crossover! Transformers 4: Turtles that Transform with 'Tude!

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/celebritology/post/michael-bay-gets-an-earful-from-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-fans-an-apology-from-actor-chris-odowd/2012/03/19/gIQAxvpLNS_blog.html

The Michael Bay quote regarding the turtles:

"Kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist, when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable."

From the article:

"As many (many, many, many) others have pointed out, you can’t make the turtles aliens. Their mutation from normal reptiles to crime-fighters via radioactive goop is a crucial part of their origin story. “Mutant” is in the title for a reason.

Of course, Bay may have misspoken when he used the phrase “alien race” and everyone is getting worked up for naught. But if this is not a mistake — and Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael are actually going to be aliens for some reason — Bay should prepare to feel the wrath of “TMNT” fan boys everywhere.

Bay’s name also made headlines last week after “Bridesmaids” star Chris O’Dowd commented on the director’s very public falling out with Megan Fox, the Irish actor’s “Friends With Kids” co-star. O’Dowd told the Toronto Sun:

"I don’t know the ins and outs of it, but it's all down to having a fallout with Michael Bay. But who wouldn't have a fallout with him? It's one of the sexist things (sic) I've ever seen. She called him an [expletive]. Well, he is [an expletive expletive]. She’s not the only one who has said that. Why has she been singled out?"

When asked whether he was afraid his comments would prevent him from working with Bay, O’Dowd replied, “I would never [expletive] watch his films, never mind go and act in them.”

Posted: Mar 19 2012 03:01 pm

They should just make the new Ninja Turtles disgruntled drug addicted hobos who make turtle costumes out of cardboard and kill children who they mistake for the "foot clan" that love to consume "pizza" which is actually just a new type of pcp that happens to be called pizza. Shredder can be a punk teenager who refused to give them money to buy booze and likes to destroy their refrigerator box homes underneath the highway overpass for fun because his parents don't love him.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 03:28 pm

The turtles are aliens now? If you could see my face, you would see a face that shows no reaction whatsoever.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 03:46 pm

they probably wont even be teens or ninjas either. or green. and will hate pizza. they will be orange & eat lasagna. and pee on FBI agents

Posted: Mar 19 2012 03:54 pm

I am so angry right now. I'm almost shaking. I just...wow. I want to say that I hope he's just the world's biggest troll, but he proved how serious he is by sodomizing GI Joe and then dragging the Transformers through the dirt twice more. My. God. he is an Expletive Expletive.

And the whole alien thing completely destroys this. There's the obvious negation of Mutant and Turtle, but the likelihood that an alien race would categorize age groups as we do, or that they would study the ancient human art of Ninja is very slim.

So, these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from space would not be teenage, nor mutant, nor ninja, nor turtles.

That sounds exactly like the kind of bag of boiled horsecock I would expect from Bay. I am so angry.

If I ever meet him, I'm going to shit in his mouth as a literal interpretation of making him eat his own ideas.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 04:22 pm

I think we can all agree if i say this is the Armageddon.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 04:58 pm

username wrote:

they probably wont even be teens or ninjas either. or green. and will hate pizza. they will be orange & eat lasagna. and pee on FBI agents

Their weapons will be laser guns too. Also, April O'Neil is a space marine.

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

This is the cartoon that's coming out sometime this year:

Seriously. Why does Splinter have human hands and why is April 11 years old?

Posted: Mar 19 2012 07:53 pm

Wait, so this isn't a fetish porn topic?

Joined: Jun 29 2010 Posts: 1818

Wait for the show Josh linked to come out, then two weeks.
Your porn will be readily available in the dark recesses of the internet. :O

Posted: Mar 19 2012 08:56 pm

Fuck a shitcock, I'm going to fucking lose it!

Posted: Mar 19 2012 09:15 pm

They should call the show Teenage Mutant Ninja Turdles because that looks like shit.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 09:31 pm

I absolutely hate CGI. Fuck this shit.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 09:35 pm

@om*d wrote:

They should just make the new Ninja Turtles disgruntled drug addicted hobos who make turtle costumes out of cardboard and kill children who they mistake for the "foot clan" that love to consume "pizza" which is actually just a new type of pcp that happens to be called pizza. Shredder can be a punk teenager who refused to give them money to buy booze and likes to destroy their refrigerator box homes underneath the highway overpass for fun because his parents don't love him.

That actually sounds a lot more interesting than making them aliens. In fact I'd probably pay to see that movie.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 09:37 pm

They just should make them gay nazis wich love to eat shit if they have the need to fuck up the franchise.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 09:54 pm

WTF, why does Michaelangelo have a manriki-gusari, why is Donatello carrying a naginata, and why is Raphael using a pair of sai like punch daggers? My 8 year old asshole is hurting retroactively and my 30 year old brain hurts at the lack of weapon skill knowledge possessed by the shitfuckers that did those blocky pieces of fuck.

The animator must've had a Frank Booth moment: "Krang wants to fuck. Get ready to fuck, you fucker's fucker! You fucker. Don't you fuckin' look at me!...Krang wants Ninja Turtles...Don't fuckin' look at me. Don't fuckin' look at me. Don't you look at me. Shredder's coming. Shredder's coming home. Don't you fuckin' look at me. Shredder's coming home...Don't you fuckin' look at me. [blows out the candle] Now it's dark. Stay alive baby. Do it for Splinter."

Posted: Mar 19 2012 10:48 pm

i'll_bite_your_ear wrote:

They just should make them gay nazis wich love to eat shit if they have the need to fuck up the franchise.

I may have seen a movie based on the idea you posted there. It seems very familiar.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 11:01 pm

@om*d wrote:

i'll_bite_your_ear wrote:

They just should make them gay nazis wich love to eat shit if they have the need to fuck up the franchise.

I may have seen a movie based on the idea you posted there. It seems very familiar.

I think you might've just read my Salo x TMNT fanfic.

Posted: Mar 19 2012 11:07 pm

aeonic wrote:

@om*d wrote:

i'll_bite_your_ear wrote:

They just should make them gay nazis wich love to eat shit if they have the need to fuck up the franchise.

I may have seen a movie based on the idea you posted there. It seems very familiar.

I think you might've just read my Salo x TMNT fanfic.

That sounds like a terrific mashup.

Gallery 2 · Posted: Mar 20 2012 01:28 am

I blame everyone who encouraged 3 Transformers movies, with a possible 4 coming by: It only showed Hollywood they could do whatever with these franchises and people will still see them regardless.

Also:

Quote:

"When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie."

So an alien is suddenly more believable than a mutant? Am I missing something?

Posted: Mar 20 2012 02:42 am

AtmanRyu wrote:

Also:

Quote:

"When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie."

So an alien is suddenly more believable than amutant? Am I missing something?

A nose full of cocaine and a mind taken by megalomania is what you missing.

Posted: Mar 20 2012 04:43 am

I would probably be more pissed off if I'd actually watched the show as a kid. But back then I thought the turtles were already retarded. I guess I must be 2 years older than everyone else on this site. What's Micheal Bay gonna fuck up next? Rainbow Bright or Strawberry Shortcake?