SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic - Golden Age and Silver Age heroes fucking suck

Posted: Jan 01 2011 08:43 pm

Seriously, fuck the old school superheroes. They're all a bunch of boring, uncomplicated characters who are good at everything. They're like the fucking obnoxious jocks from high school. Oh, you can succeed without trying? Good for you. I hope you fucking die in a drunk driving accident.

Now, the supervillains, that's where it's at. They try and try and try to succeed and then BAM, once sucker punch from a superhero and all that hard work and planning has been wasted. JUST LIKE REAL LIFE.

That's why the current iterations of heroes like Batman and Iron Man are cool: they're imperfect.

Posted: Jan 01 2011 09:14 pm

I just picked up a bunch of old Spidey comics for some chump change at the antique mall, Marvel Team Up #87 Spider Man & Man Wolf VS Baron Von Who Gives a Stuph, so BORING.

I also got Lobo 1 - 4 never opened, should I even bother cracking the bag and reading it? It looks XTREME 90's riffic. Confused

Posted: Jan 01 2011 10:15 pm

I agree. I always thought Superman was the most boring character ever. Come on... he's 100% pure goodness, all powerful and virtually indestructible. Yea, we can all relate to that.

And of course his near invincibility leads to the same old boring plots. Its either:

1) Oh boy, MORE kryptonite just landed on earth and Superman's enemies found it.
or
2) Oh boy, another villain survived the destruction of Krypton and eventually made his way to earth to battle Superman.

Posted: Jan 01 2011 10:25 pm

Or Superman is fighting underground or in a galaxy far, far away and he's weakened by the lack of Earth's yellow sun.

Posted: Jan 01 2011 11:09 pm

Superman was basically Jesus in tights.

Posted: Jan 01 2011 11:28 pm

Thats why i liked The Dark Knight Returns because superman gets fucked up for once

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

I can't tell if you're being facetious or not, Syd.

Posted: Jan 02 2011 12:33 am

I've definitely been drinking, that's for sure.

Joined: Sep 10 2010 Location: Kearney, NE Posts: 65

I think Blackout is correct about Superman being a Christ figure, but I don't really think there is anything wrong with that.

Posted: Jan 03 2011 04:45 pm

I hate Superman, and I think that the late David Carradine summed it up best as Bill in Kill Bill Vol. 2, I don't need to extrapolate. That said, a lot of Silver Age heroes had really great stories that dealt with the increasingly overt moral complexities that the world faced. I cite Green Lantern/Green Arrow during the Hard Traveling Heroes/O'Neill era as prime examples of that.

Posted: Jan 03 2011 05:14 pm

I like the ads old in comics.

Hey kids, sell salve to your friends and family and win:

* An Axe & Knife Kit!

* Genuine LIVE Squirrel Monkey!

* Archery & Lawn Dart Set!

* "Real" Police Forensic Kit!

* "Working" hypnotizing glasses!

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

Josh.0 wrote:

I think Blackout is correct about Superman being a Christ figure, but I don't really think there is anything wrong with that.

Robocop was a Christ figure.

Posted: Jan 04 2011 04:42 pm

FNJ wrote:

Josh.0 wrote:

I think Blackout is correct about Superman being a Christ figure, but I don't really think there is anything wrong with that.

Robocop was a Christ figure.

Yeah but Robocop went around shooting everyone instead of you know, arresting them. I'm not really in to Superman, did he ever kill anyone?

Posted: Jan 04 2011 04:56 pm

Blackout wrote:

FNJ wrote:

Josh.0 wrote:

I think Blackout is correct about Superman being a Christ figure, but I don't really think there is anything wrong with that.

Robocop was a Christ figure.

Yeah but Robocop went around shooting everyone instead of you know, arresting them. I'm not really in to Superman, did he ever kill anyone?

Superman's killed TONS of people (www.superdickery.com)

Posted: Jan 04 2011 06:46 pm

so much about superman being a christ figure...

Joined: Jun 29 2010 Posts: 1818

Christ's killed TONS of people Razz

http://www.cracked.com/article_18948_5-real-deleted-bible-scenes-in-which-jesus-kicks-some-ass.html

Posted: Jan 05 2011 12:37 am

Blackout wrote:

FNJ wrote:

Josh.0 wrote:

I think Blackout is correct about Superman being a Christ figure, but I don't really think there is anything wrong with that.

Robocop was a Christ figure.

Yeah but Robocop went around shooting everyone instead of you know, arresting them. I'm not really in to Superman, did he ever kill anyone?

Robocop is totally Christ, he offers forgiveness. It just so happens that nobody takes him up on it. Instead of "repent for your sins" its "your move creep".

Posted: Jan 05 2011 04:43 pm

Returning to the crazy ads in old comics, I was flipping through The Amazing Spider Man # 90 and amongst the squirrel monkeys and sell grit win prizes and life saving karate I saw an ad for dentures. Wtf?

Joined: Jan 14 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 12

Baron Von hell i dunno how to spell it Rasche had THE CLAW.He CLAWED and CLAWED and CLAWED.

I learned along time ago that I can get the shit kicked outta me for 20 minutes but as long as I have THE CLAW then my eye socket heals so I can see.

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

I've been reading a lot of old X-Men comics recently. God, the X-men sucked in the 90's.

Posted: Jan 16 2011 02:21 am

Why? All I remember about 90s comics sucking was the Spiderman Clone Saga snafu and everyone being really in to Spawn.

Posted: Jan 16 2011 03:07 am

Blackout wrote:

Why? All I remember about 90s comics sucking was the Spiderman Clone Saga snafu and everyone being really in to Spawn.

What about Marvel 2099?

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

we don't like to talk about that round these parts.

Posted: Jan 16 2011 05:53 am

I dunno, Spiderman 2099 had it's charms.

Posted: Jan 16 2011 06:46 pm

Spider-Man 2099, Ravage and Ghost Rider 2099 were the best of that bunch, I feel.