| Author |
Message |
Decoy
Title: !
Joined: Aug 29 2006
Posts: 87
|
1. Any parent or legal guardian that promises a "Big suprise" for their child/teenager and it turns out to be a "Suprise Vacation!", they shall immediatly be deported to North Korea.
2. Said money wasted on vacations shall recollected and given to the child.
3. Anybody who says "Nintendo is gay" shall be shot on the spot.
4. If any person says to you that "ain't" isn't a word, they shall also be executed.
5. Everybody must forget the E.T. Atari game ever happened.
|
 A shovel and a complete lack of ethics can get you anything. |
|
   |
|
|
Chrisby
Joined: Mar 31 2006
Location: Where my computer is.
Posts: 1262
|
All albums by Britney Spears, and Christina Agulera, either of the Simpson sisters, Justin Timberlake, Dashboard Confessional, Beyonce, Evanescence, among others, would be outlawed. Possession of any of them would be punishable by an extremely painful death.
And TV would not have commercials in it. Ever.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24869
|
I would pass a law making sodomy mandatory, but only for Michael Savage.
|
|
|
   |
|
|
InvisibleTimmy
Title: Superhero
Joined: Aug 26 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 24
|
| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| I would pass a law making sodomy mandatory, but only for Michael Savage. |
Nice.
Wait, which one?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24869
|
|
|
|
|
InvisibleTimmy
Title: Superhero
Joined: Aug 26 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 24
|
Right, right. His birth name was Michael Weiner, wasn't it?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
|
Seriously, THANK YOU for inadvertently introducing me to Bohemian Grove. My life feels like it has meaning again.
EDIT: For the record, I'd outlaw all adult secret clubs. Why they need these things like the Bohemian Club or Skull and Bones, I'll never know.
|
"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
|
|
|
|
Cattivo
Joined: Apr 14 2006
Location: Lake Michigan
Posts: 3332
|
I'd make a law limiting government's size and reach, so that they stay out of individuals' business.
Also, I'd try to reestablish the importance of the tenth ammendment. The federal government has too many responsibilities that should be done by the states.
Man, I wish my laws were funny....
|
|
|
|
|
|
Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
Posts: 3207
|
If I was in charge, individual vehicle ownership would be abolished. Wah wah, cry me a river, I want my gay car, shut up idiots. Cars are dangerous, wasteful and fucking stupid. Government run transportation of goods on trains and government mandated trucks on government only freeways, and everyone else gets bikes and public transportation, that is cheap, efficient and safe.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sock
Title: Master Fornicator
Joined: Mar 12 2006
Location: The Skies Above
Posts: 989
|
If I ran the world Murdar wouldn't and we'd get to keep our cars.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
Posts: 3207
|
Why do you need a car? No, not why do you want a car, as that's invalid and worthless. Why do you ACTUALLY need a car?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Avian
Joined: Jul 16 2006
Location: 22 Acacia Avenue
Posts: 324
|
-The elderly wouldn't be allowed to drive, except between the hours of 5AM to 6AM. That's about the time they get up in the morning, so I see no problem.
-"It/he/she pissed me off" would be a valid cause for resorting to violence.
-Telling anyone to "think of the children" will be considered hate-speech, and be punishible by hard labor in an orphanage. (Infantile diaper changing division.)
-Cellphones would have a special microchip that sense the vibrations in the road, indicating that it is being used while driving. The phone willthen explode if the call is not ended within 10 seconds.
-All political debates will adhere to the Pee-Wee Herman model of persuasive writing, including such phrases as "I know you are, but what am I?" and "takes one to know one."
-To combat child obesity, school buses will no longer stop. Rather, the children will have to run and catch onto the bus while dodging high-speed traffic. (This law would solve two problems: 1. Childhood obesity 2. My utter contempt for stopping for school buses.)
|
"Wolfman's got nards!"
You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance!
 |
|
|
|
|
Valdronius
Moderator
Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 4459
|
Organ donation would be mandatory, except for gypsies and shintos.
If you are convicted of three seperate counts of the same crime, you have to convince a grand jury that you are actually contributing something to society and deserve to kept around, or else be put out of everyone's misery.
|
| Klimbatize wrote: |
| A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd. |
|
|
|
|
|
Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
Posts: 3207
|
| Valdronius wrote: |
| Organ donation would be mandatory, except for gypsies and shintos. |
Why gypsies and shintos?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tishwitch
Title: PornStarExtraordinaire
Joined: Jul 01 2006
Location: Winter Wonderland
Posts: 1409
|
They are the only 2 groups that are formally against organ donation for spiritual purposes  Booyah Vald...
I think if Cannibalism was a religion, they would be against organ donation too!... now that I mention that... I have a few important laws:
Cannibals cannot work for the Canadian Transplant Organization
Vampires cannot work for Canadian Blood Services
 Tishwitch signing off
|
|
|
|
|
|
B.B.King
Title: Total Fucking Loser
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Location: Truck stops and gay bars
Posts: 595
|
i'd make natural drugs legal
shrooms,weed,salvia,and LSD because it's found growing naturally in 100s of plants.
i'd raise the driving age to keep fuckhead teenagers off the road.
i'd make the republican party illegal. any members of it would be sent to monster island. which i would also have to create,i guess.
syd would have his own tevelvision show. and would get paid billions and get all the free poon he wanted. plus i'd probably give him some kind of rocket powered monkey nagivated time machine.
|
I am a worthless piece of crap. |
|
|
|
|
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24869
|
Also, I would make it illegal for little old ladies to have less hair than their husbands. Balding old women would be sent to special detention centers, which would kinda like, well I don't really want to call them death camps... But uh yeah, death camps.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
Posts: 3207
|
Retards would be ground up and put in school lunches, because they're worthless non-members of society and full of good nutrients for kids.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Chrisby
Joined: Mar 31 2006
Location: Where my computer is.
Posts: 1262
|
Any and all Transformers movies other than the original one from 1986 (i.e., the new abomination that's coming out next year) would be illegal.
Movies involving snakes on airplanes would also be illegal.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sock
Title: Master Fornicator
Joined: Mar 12 2006
Location: The Skies Above
Posts: 989
|
| Murdar Machene wrote: |
| Why do you need a car? No, not why do you want a car, as that's invalid and worthless. Why do you ACTUALLY need a car? |
Why do I need a car? Because I live in a deadass boondocks town out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. Public transportation doesn't make its way out here.
|
|
|
|
|
|
SamanthaMcPoopenstein
Title: Gadabout Ragamuffin
Joined: Aug 29 2005
Location: tx
Posts: 136
|
I wouldn't make any new laws, I'd just spend my time getting rid of the stupid laws we already have. Especially this "click it or ticket" business. Wearing a safety belt shouldn't be mandatory. It's always a risk getting into an automobile, and if some people don't realize it, it's their own fault.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
|
| Chrisby wrote: |
| Movies involving snakes on airplanes would also be illegal. |
In Teborland, movies involving snakes on any form of transportation would involve massive tax breaks and automatic government grossing to thin out the box office.
| Murdar Machene wrote: |
| Retards would be ground up and put in school lunches, because they're worthless non-members of society and full of good nutrients for kids. |
That's the most non-Nazi like law in this thread yet 
| Murdar Machene wrote: |
| Why do you need a car? No, not why do you want a car, as that's invalid and worthless. Why do you ACTUALLY need a car? |
Granted, I don't need a car in the city. But I do in the 'burbs. Things are WAY too spaced out. Especially when you need to go to multiple towns in one night. Or when you're driving out to the farms to bury the body of another dead hooker... 
The other reason I love personal transportation are the long, long trips across America discovering yourself, crap, America, crap, American crap, and the fact you blew a ton of money while driving through 34 states. 
|
"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
|
|
|
|
Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
Posts: 3207
|
Ah, the signs of a life of excess and wastefulness. Indeed, self-discovery is fun, but that's a luxury that I think we could sacrifice until we found a better resource than oil to use / waste on the trip.
Actually, nevermind. I think discovering myself while driving across a post-apocalyptic America would definitely be a better way to discover myself. As long as I had a double barrel shotgun and a leather jacket with one arm.
My new rule for today: I would not only make slim jims legal, but mandatory.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
|
| Murdar Machene wrote: |
| Actually, nevermind. I think discovering myself while driving across a post-apocalyptic America would definitely be a better way to discover myself. As long as I had a double barrel shotgun and a leather jacket with one arm. |
|
"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
