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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
Posts: 6544
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DarknessDeku
Title: Deku Scrub
Joined: Dec 08 2007
Location: The Forest
Posts: 3282
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Yeah, I'm in the middle of reading it right now and I like it. It was heartfelt in the beginning, and the rest was funny. As much as I love the first Zelda game and enjoyed how non linear it was, I still feel like it didn't explain well how and where to bomb walls and burn bushes. There is no logic to them.
I found a typo in this sentence "While I didn't every buy keys in this game, I wish this feature would have returned in later games". The word every should be the word ever.
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Drew Linky
Wizard
Joined: Jun 12 2009
Posts: 4209
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Hey, a new article! This is fantastic so far, gonna finish it really quick.
Some typos I noticed while reading:
"And then MAYBE I finally to decided to beat the first dungeon."
"There is a lot of stuff in the first Zelda game that those of who first played it in the 80s..." (Maybe? Consider removing of, may be fine. Not sure)
"Dodongo dies in two hits, and doesn't fit back at all,"
"Oh hey, I just noticed that getting ring also changes your color on the map."
"For reason, Aquamentus reappears as the boss of the seventh dungeon."
"I know this isn't a eulogy in the most tradition sense of the word"
That was very heartfelt, and I enjoyed it immensely. It actually made me laugh, which is something that reading any article hasn't done in ages for me. I'm sure Hacker would have loved this article, Syd.
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https://discord.gg/homestuck is where you can find me literally 99% of the time. Stop on by if you feel like it, we're a nice crowd. |
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jprime
Title: Ex-GameWinners
Joined: Jan 27 2008
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 5948
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I was lovingly hunting all those and more down while you were posting that.
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JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
Posts: 3475
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Everything about that article was excellent. Woodsy said it first, 18 months out of practice hasn't worn you out at all.
Also,
That dialogue is actually from a super hot erotic fanfiction I wrote based on the DIC cartoon. Immediately following this exchange they totally bone Princess Zelda in the following sequence: oral, anal, vaginal, anal, oral, anal, anal, anal, anal, nasal, anal. The Moblin finishes, but Link decapitates Ganon right as he's about to climax. I want to stress that all the sexual acts that occur in my story, fictitious though they may be, are also all completely consenual. Ganon is a lot of things, but he is most certainly not a rapist. #NotAllMonsters
This is the greatest paragraph of words to ever grace a blank space.
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There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24869
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Thanks guys, you are too kind.
And thank you, Drew and jprime, for your typo tech support.
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@om*d
Title: Dorakyura
Joined: Jul 10 2010
Location: Castlevania
Posts: 4224
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Great article. A fitting tribute and shows you are still on your game Syd. Thanks for the great read!
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Cattivo
Joined: Apr 14 2006
Location: Lake Michigan
Posts: 3332
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Yep, great, great. And that's coming from someone who retardedly never got into the Zelda games. I remember a friend brought it over once and I was just weirdly baffled by it.
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The Opponent
Title: Forum Battle WINNER
Joined: Feb 24 2010
Location: The Danger Zone
Posts: 3495
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This might sound off to say, but all this resulting new activity is starting to remind me of a Midnight Society gathering.
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I'm not a bad enough dude, but I am an edgy little shit. I'll do what I can. |
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JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
Posts: 3475
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One other thing:
Quote: |
While I didn't ever buy keys in this game, I wish this feature would have returned in later games. Imagine how much less frustrating Ocarina's Water Temple would have been if you could just buy a key or two, instead of spending an extra hour trying to find THAT LAST FUCKING KEY |
I agree with this, but less so because of the Water Temple's difficulty and more so because it would have given you something somewhat important to spend your money on. Money was practically pointless in Ocarina. Think about it, how many things did you HAVE to buy in that game? The Deku Shield, the Hylian shield,.....and thats it really. Both Tunics you can get for free, fairies replenishing all your health upon death (instead of a 7 hearts) made potions completely useless, there's no equivalent of that fucking monkey from Link To The Past that makes you pony up 110 rupees just to open the Dark Palace. I would actually go out of my way to buy things I could get for free just so I didn't feel like an idiot for having a full giant's wallet and coming across a Gold Rupee.
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There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24869
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Yeah, money was super irrelevant in Ocarina. At least Majora's Mask dangled the carrot of a heart piece in front of you if you saved 5000 Rupees at the bank. I think Ocarina assumes you're going to waste all your money on the mini games.
Money was a super important resource in Zelda 1, and it was fairly hard to get. I mean, yeah, there were the secrets to everyone, but other than that, it was only obtainable in increments of 1 and 5. And you had to buy:
Arrows
Bait
Blue Candle
Blue Ring
Large Shield
Life Potions
More Bombs
And then keys if you wanted. And Pay Me For Information. And Moneymaking Game.
On top of that, using arrows used up your Rupees.And in the second quest, at least one dungeon had Your Money Or Your Life screens where you either had to give up a Heart Container or 50 Rupees to pass.
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JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
Posts: 3475
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Its almost as if Nintendo felt bad they money too important so they decided to make it useless to say we're sorry.
You know what that that Gamecube collection should have had? A Money transfer system between games. All the money you can't use in Ocraina? Use it all to get all the Zelda 1 items.
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There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant. |
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DarknessDeku
Title: Deku Scrub
Joined: Dec 08 2007
Location: The Forest
Posts: 3282
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JRA wrote: |
Its almost as if Nintendo felt bad they money too important so they decided to make it useless to say we're sorry.
You know what that that Gamecube collection should have had? A Money transfer system between games. All the money you can't use in Ocraina? Use it all to get all the Zelda 1 items. |
AHAHAHAHAHA
Syd Lexia wrote: |
And in the second quest, at least one dungeon had Your Money Or Your Life screens where you either had to give up a Heart Container or 50 Rupees to pass. |
I never knew that. I only played a little bit of the second quest, so maybe I should go all the way through.
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jprime
Title: Ex-GameWinners
Joined: Jan 27 2008
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 5948
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Sometime next year, I'm going to binge on the series like I did with the pre-merger Final Fantasies in 2011. That's going to include the first game's second quest. I don't know when I'll start, exactly, but it'll happen soon after I take a day off gaming for my biggest comic binge ever.
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Drew Linky
Wizard
Joined: Jun 12 2009
Posts: 4209
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Syd Lexia wrote: |
Thanks guys, you are too kind.
And thank you, Drew and jprime, for your typo tech support. |
No problem at all. Actually, that kind of thing is literally my job--I edit papers at college for other students, so I mean. I couldn't leave it unsaid.
EDIT: Maybe weird to offer, but if you'd like someone to proof-read your stuff for typos or anything, let me know. I'm always happy to give stuff a look.
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https://discord.gg/homestuck is where you can find me literally 99% of the time. Stop on by if you feel like it, we're a nice crowd. |
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The Opponent
Title: Forum Battle WINNER
Joined: Feb 24 2010
Location: The Danger Zone
Posts: 3495
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I was about to say that every Zelda game should have a second quest of some sort, but then I remembered that the original second quest only exists because someone miscalculated the amount of ROM space that was needed for the dungeons, so Shigeru Miyamoto decided to invent the second quest just to fill in the leftover space. So it's not entirely practical to do this with the newer games.
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I'm not a bad enough dude, but I am an edgy little shit. I'll do what I can. |
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Cameron
Title: :O � O:
Joined: Feb 01 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 4632
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So I know I'm late to the party on this, but I just got to read the article last night; the new article is excellent, emotive and hilarious. You haven't lost your touch, Syd.
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JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
Posts: 3475
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The-Excel wrote: |
I was about to say that every Zelda game should have a second quest of some sort, but then I remembered that the original second quest only exists because someone miscalculated the amount of ROM space that was needed for the dungeons, so Shigeru Miyamoto decided to invent the second quest just to fill in the leftover space. So it's not entirely practical to do this with the newer games. |
I did not know this.
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There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant. |
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DarknessDeku
Title: Deku Scrub
Joined: Dec 08 2007
Location: The Forest
Posts: 3282
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JRA wrote: |
The-Excel wrote: |
I was about to say that every Zelda game should have a second quest of some sort, but then I remembered that the original second quest only exists because someone miscalculated the amount of ROM space that was needed for the dungeons, so Shigeru Miyamoto decided to invent the second quest just to fill in the leftover space. So it's not entirely practical to do this with the newer games. |
I did not know this. |
Same here. I had no idea. That is interesting. I love video game trivia.
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The Opponent
Title: Forum Battle WINNER
Joined: Feb 24 2010
Location: The Danger Zone
Posts: 3495
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Source from Nintendo themselves. Miyamoto saw the leftover space and decided that the finished dungeons were good enough and it wasn't necessary to change them to cover the empty data regions. So he decided to have the programmers make new ones instead.
It astonishes me with Miyamoto and Tezuka's NES games just how many things they managed to get right the first time. Usually with series, it takes a sequel or three for them to catch their stride.
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I'm not a bad enough dude, but I am an edgy little shit. I'll do what I can. |
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HardcoreGamer4Ever
Title: I Am The God Of Awesome
Joined: Jun 28 2010
Location: Your Mom's Vagina!
Posts: 1295
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Syd, this is a fantastic article. Your paragraph about your erotic fanfiction, in particular, was one of my favorite Syd moments yet. So explicit, so offensive, so classless... I love it! This is a great tribute to Hacker. It was truly heartfelt and genuine, and I guarantee Hack would have loved it.
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https://badassgorilla.blogspot.com/
Yo yo yo, check out my new(ish) site!
RIP Happy Katana (2010-2020) |
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The Opponent
Title: Forum Battle WINNER
Joined: Feb 24 2010
Location: The Danger Zone
Posts: 3495
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I usually don't care for sexual humor like this, but it was done well enough that I would agree. The line at the end, "eulogies typically aren't filled with curse words and anal sex" is one I'm stealing immediately.
The opening paragraph is probably the most heartfelt thing on the whole site. Enough information to give people unfamiliar with the situation an idea of how important this is without being sappy about it like everyone on social media tends to be. It's hard not to emote while reading it.
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I'm not a bad enough dude, but I am an edgy little shit. I'll do what I can. |
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HardcoreGamer4Ever
Title: I Am The God Of Awesome
Joined: Jun 28 2010
Location: Your Mom's Vagina!
Posts: 1295
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JRA wrote: |
One other thing:
Quote: |
While I didn't ever buy keys in this game, I wish this feature would have returned in later games. Imagine how much less frustrating Ocarina's Water Temple would have been if you could just buy a key or two, instead of spending an extra hour trying to find THAT LAST FUCKING KEY |
I agree with this, but less so because of the Water Temple's difficulty and more so because it would have given you something somewhat important to spend your money on. Money was practically pointless in Ocarina. Think about it, how many things did you HAVE to buy in that game? The Deku Shield, the Hylian shield,.....and thats it really. Both Tunics you can get for free, fairies replenishing all your health upon death (instead of a 7 hearts) made potions completely useless, there's no equivalent of that fucking monkey from Link To The Past that makes you pony up 110 rupees just to open the Dark Palace. I would actually go out of my way to buy things I could get for free just so I didn't feel like an idiot for having a full giant's wallet and coming across a Gold Rupee. |
Actually, you could also find the Hylian Shield for free, under one of the tombstones in the graveyard. There's a treasure chest with it, which makes money even more useless in OOT.
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https://badassgorilla.blogspot.com/
Yo yo yo, check out my new(ish) site!
RIP Happy Katana (2010-2020) |
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DarknessDeku
Title: Deku Scrub
Joined: Dec 08 2007
Location: The Forest
Posts: 3282
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One of the creators of Ocarina of Time made the game really easy because he couldn't finish Zelda 1 for NES.
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i'll_bite_your_ear wrote: |
DarknessDeku is already assimilated by the bots.
He knows your algorithm. |
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AJ Fox
Title: HylianFox
Joined: Jun 26 2009
Location: Calatia
Posts: 63
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I just have to say I totally agree that red ring Link is hideous. If they had just used a darker brown he would look better than a nearly shapeless red blob.
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