haha,this reminds me. i read a pretty funny article today based around this commercial
"Tell Your Stupid Ranch Tooth To Shut Up"
ranch tooth.jpg
FOR REAL.
If I had a Ranch Tooth I would pull it!
At first I regarded the Ranch Tooth as a comical, yet annoying, sidekick. But now, after we've had a week or two to absorb the situation, it is evident that the Ranch Tooth has ruined this man's life. If you have seen the 4 or 5 Ranch Tooth commercials you can see the Aristotleian structure of this tragic comedy begin to develop:
We have two characters: The "Man," as we will call the twenty-something human male, and the Ranch Tooth. We never are exposed to the circumstances that brought these two together, or for that matter whether the Ranch Tooth is an objective character, or the Man's psychotic projection of an anthropomorphic cowboy-tooth. It seems like the tooth is an objective character because others - notably at the poker game and the yoga class - seem to hear and see the Ranch Tooth, and are angered and annoyed by it. A guy at the poker game asks the Man to "Tell [his] stupid Ranch Tooth to shut up." It is soon evident that the Man is our protagonist, the Ranch Tooth our antagonist, and the conflict? Well, the conflict is that Ranch Tooth is a little bitch! The Ranch Tooth follows the Man everywhere - to work, on dates, to the gym, rides shotgun in the Man's car - it even sleeps with him, presumably showers with him, all while Ranch Tooth rhythmically mutters, and sometimes yelps: "Ranch!...Ranch!....Ranch!.....Ranch!.....Ranch!!!.....Ranch,..Ranch,..Ranch,..Ranch,..Ranch,..Ranch,..Ranch,...............Ranch!!!!!!" So the original conflict, Ranch Tooth's verbal mantra, is also the rising conflict. Ranch Tooth won't shut the fuck up, he shouts "Ranch," we are led to believe, almost every minute of the day. So that when this poor bastard has mud-butt, and is camped on the commode, he's got this fucking weird-ass, two-foot tall, talking tooth with a cowboy hat sitting right in front of him incessantly shouting "Ranch!! Ranch!! Ranch!!"
Which is where we are now in this saga. Something obviously has to be done about the Ranch Tooth. I would say that the ultimate goal of our protagonist is to rid himself of the tooth entirely; at least that is what I would want were I in his situation. The Man seems too calm though, almost serene. Instead of killing the Ranch Tooth, or leaving it on the side of a desert road, he takes the Ranch Tooth to Wendy's because their chickensomethingorother is the only thing that will get the Ranch Tooth to be quiet, and even then it is just for a couple of minutes at a time. So, why hasn't he ditched the Ranch Tooth? There are two apparent possibilities: he has some sort of emotional bond with Ranch Tooth, he likes, perhaps even loves the Ranch tooth; or it is because he is scared of the Ranch Tooth. The latter makes more sense because why would anyone love the Ranch Tooth? So, the man is scared of Ranch Tooth, I think, so scared that he thinks he is powerless against the Ranch Tooth - a slave to its every whim.
So I'm wondering will Wendy's give us our dramatic crescendo? Will the man turn the tables on Ranch Tooth? Or will the final scene in this advertising extravaganza be the Ranch Tooth standing above the Man's coffin sinisterly muttering "Ranch, Ranch, Ranch...”
We will see, oh yes we will see....."
http://otherself.chattablogs.com/archives/028240.html
