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Wizard Joined: Jun 12 2009 Posts: 4209

Dear... god... This is an absolutely terrible book. I can't help but laugh at how utterly sexist it is. Here's an example from his blog:

Quote:

Women Would Vote for Hitler

A woman voting on anything other than American Idol or her personal favorite type of chocolate is like watching a small child run full speed into a wall. Clearly the fundamentals are understood. The child runs, it’s going somewhere and there’s no doubt about that. The child can run. But very quickly one comes to the understanding that somewhere, somehow, the process has been perverted. Then comes the wall. Then comes the crying.

Women would vote for Hitler. Not because a woman could be talked into buying a catsup Popsicle while she was wearing white gloves, but because women are all fascists.

Don’t believe me? Let’s leave the constant threat of castration out of it for the moment. That makes it a slam dunk in my book, but that’s fine. Women are just “joking” whenever they play fascism card #1.

How about oppressive dictatorship by force or threat of violence?

Anyone who’s married will tell you a lot of things. The first of which will be, “Don’t get fucking married for any reason you dumb shit.” But a likely secondary is that marriage is not a democracy. What is it then?

Marriage is a fascist dictatorship of oppression — and so is any relationship with a woman. Work, professional, “professional”; they’re all the same. If you don’t like the flavor of the Kool-Aid and you want to add some mix, prepare to have a wailing siren of bullshit go off in your ear. That’s assault and that’s oppression. That’s enforcing your opinion through the threat of violence. If you press the issue, prepare to receive the threat of withheld friendship — or even sex whether it’s applicable or not! There was another man who pulled the same kind of shit. Yep, Hitler.

The biggest women/fascism link is a woman’s reliance on violence. Women will be the first to hit during any kind of dispute. It’s not even a percentage. It’s as much of a guarantee as it is that the sun will rise tomorrow. And as men we can all understand that the sun rises because it’s actually a star that our planet rotates around, therefore it is guaranteed to rise. We are able to remove ourselves from our personal point of view and understand that the sun isn’t rising at all. It’s actually us who are spinning around the sun. Women don’t even fucking know that.

Every morning when a woman wakes up at the crack of 10:30 she’s thrilled to shit to see that the sun’s in the sky again and her fake orange tan will look just as radiant as it did yesterday. That’s one of the biggest reasons why women shouldn’t vote. They don’t know fucking anything about anything. They know nothing.

But that’s not why women would vote for Hitler if given the chance. Say what you want about the merits of an individual ethos of governments as you will. You’re all men and therefore deserve the right to express opinion unmitigated by slander or censure. What I’m saying is that by an intrinsic party affiliation — fascist — all women would check the box marked ‘Kill Or Savagely Beat Anyone Who Doesn’t Agree With Me’. That fact has always held women back more than any mythical glass ceiling.

I don't even know what to say to that.

Posted: May 30 2010 08:44 pm

Drew Linky wrote:

[...]You’re all men and therefore deserve the right to express opinion unmitigated by slander or censure.[...]

Right. In the context of voting for Hitler, slander and censure were probably all anyone had to go by.

Posted: May 31 2010 07:58 pm

Sounds like someone has mommy issues.

Posted: May 31 2010 09:48 pm

I wish I could keep a straight face at all times like he does.

Posted: May 31 2010 09:55 pm

Wow nice handlebar mustache and mirrored sunglasses. Laughing

Posted: Jun 01 2010 05:40 pm

Nothing like some really good satire. Although, the name Dick Masterson is the icing on the cake.

Posted: Jun 09 2010 01:39 pm

I lol'd at the American Idol and chocolate comment.

Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

Is this guy from the south?

Posted: Jun 10 2010 11:37 am

some people just should shut the fuck up. like this guy.

Joined: Jun 09 2010 Posts: 10

Is Dick Masterson his real name?

Posted: Jun 10 2010 05:30 pm

I don't he is meant to be taken seriously. He seems a just a little too overboard to be legit. I think it's satire.

Especially with the name, Dick Masterson.

Title: Hugh Joined: Sep 23 2007 Posts: 1591

Really, guys? Do they like, not teach satire in American schools, or something?

Posted: Jun 16 2010 10:51 am

i took satire class right after math class

Posted: Jun 16 2010 11:47 pm

My school's entire satire department's funding got nixed to make more room for tom foolery and pie throwing. Sad

Posted: Jun 17 2010 11:27 am

we never could get enough people to sign up for slapstick class, so it was always cancelled

Joined: Oct 19 2009 Location: Nashville, TN Posts: 1479

Wait, guys, are you being serious?

Because at my school nobody ever skipped satire class. The only class more popular was farce.

Joined: Oct 01 2009 Posts: 5316

Blackout wrote:

My school's entire satire department's funding got nixed to make more room for tom foolery and pie throwing. Sad

Gee that sounds SO interesting!!!! I took Sarcasm 101 instead.

Posted: Jun 21 2010 04:19 am

to get serious again, i think this guy just hates woman and has somehow the talent to write so he writes stuff for people who hate woman. people seem to like getting their opinion corroborated. thats why they buy this. thats why he's famous. thats why this forum come up.

Posted: Jun 21 2010 10:00 am

I think people bought it because they want to see if he really meant it. I'm sure a few women picked it up not expecting to have their opinions echoed on paper.

Posted: Jun 21 2010 06:27 pm

that guy just uses woman as a catalyst for his anger. thats all the story.

Posted: Jun 24 2010 04:56 pm

He looks like a date rapist, but he's actually pretty engaging when he's not being a total mysogynist. My wife made us watch Dr. Phil House and he was on there with a bunch of other people. I lump him in with Maddox and all the other people like that (Tucker Carlson, Mr. Hamburger, etc). Funny, but not to be taken seriously.

And our school's satire budget was redirected towards Mindless Hallway Aggression instead. We liked fights at our school

Posted: Jun 24 2010 07:13 pm

we were gonna have apathy awareness class, but our school stopped caring before people could sign up for it