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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24873
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So what's the worst movie you've seen this summer? I probably only saw twelve or so movies this summer and only stands out in my mind as something I wish I never watched. That movie is George A. Romero's Land of the Dead. I was hoping for a classic mankind vs. zombies plot but that's not what I got. Instead, I got a preachy melodrama about how rich people are evil that happened to have some zombies in it. The fucking zombies were portrayed as sympathetic cretins who were trying to find their place in the world, but the big bad humans kept slaughtering them. This whole kinder, gentler zombie subtext was largely undermined by the fact that the zombies still ate brains.
There were only two good things about this movie:
1. Dead Reckoning, the coolest assault vehicle ever
2. Dennis Hopper, who played a slight variant of his King Koopa role from Super Mario Brothers.
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S. McCracken
Moderator
Title: Enforcer
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2171
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I'm going to have to go with War of the Worlds. I loved everything until the end. the special effects were great, the acting was well-done...but that ending ruined everything for me. I also didn't see many movies this summer and those that I did see include Wedding Crashers and Batman Begins, which were much better overall movies.
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
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Hey, man, Land of the Dead was dead-awesome it stands out as one of the best films of the summer.
In the end, I think "Sky High" was probably the winner. Why? Had the superhero action of Batman and F4 combined, had cliche teen characters from dozens of other movies - but more awesome, feature tons of B actors (Bruce Campbell, two of the 5 Kids in the Hall members), and ,to top it off, family friendly! I didn't see Chocolate Factory pulling that in.[/u]
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"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24873
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Tebor wrote: |
Hey, man, Land of the Dead was dead-awesome it stands out as one of the best films of the summer.
In the end, I think "Sky High" was probably the winner. Why? Had the superhero action of Batman and F4 combined, had cliche teen characters from dozens of other movies - but more awesome, feature tons of B actors (Bruce Campbell, two of the 5 Kids in the Hall members), and ,to top it off, family friendly! I didn't see Chocolate Factory pulling that in. |
You know, I can't figure out what you didn't like about Sky High. Aside from saying it was cliche, you didn't really say anything bad about it. I'd see a movie with all the action of Batman no matter how derivative it was. I haven't seen it yet, but it already has money. I'm a total Kurt Russell fanboy, so I'll probably get the DVD as soon as I can find it new or used for under $10.
I stand by belief that Land of the Dead was not that good. I wanted zombies, dammit, not some allegory where humans represent Americans, zombies represent the Middle East, and Dennis Hopper represents the wealthiest 1% of America. If Romero wants to make a political movie, he should just fucking make a straightforward political movie instead of trying to recruit me into his political agenda by promising me zombies and some token violence. Then again, I'm not really a fan of the original Dead trilogy and those weren't really particularly politically motivated. Dawn of the Dead (1978) tried to be an indictment of capitalism, and yeah, it was kinda cute that the zombies naturally flocked to the mall, but the movie was far too slowpaced to hold my attention. I really think Romero should stay away from zombie flicks, because I enjoyed Monkey Shines, The Dark Half, and Creepshow a lot more than his zombie films. But I don't know, maybe the movie wasn't so bad. After all, It did mark the first time Hopper and Leguizamo had been onscreen together since Super Mario Brothers. And I didn't see Stealth, The Cave, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, War of the Worlds, or Deuce Bigallow: European Gigolo, so maybe I'm being too hard on a movie that was pretty entertaining at times. It wasn't quite crap, but out of the ten or so movies I saw this summer, it's the only one I wish I had waited for OnDemand for.
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Kubo
Joined: Aug 24 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
Posts: 1062
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I have to go with Land of the Dead as well. It wasn't so much the political undertones that pissed me off about it. They were stupid, but I was able to turn a blind eye to it. What pissed me off about Land of the Dead was that the zombies learned to think.
I don't know, but I think there's something scarier about a mob of mindless things that just need to feed on human flesh. That takes away humans' ability to reason with them. There's no way out of a situation like that: either you fight off the zombies, or they kill and eat you. The undead, in my book, shouldn't be of the "live and let live" doctrine (so to speak).
That being said, I actually enjoyed the remake of Dawn of the Dead released a few years ago. Mindless zombies that can sprint... badass. Although I hear the zombie movie purists got mad at a movie that featured zombies that could run, so I guess it's all a matter of taste.
Side note: Dark Water was relatively shitty too.
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Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24873
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I also enjoyed the DotD remake. The only thing that bugged me about it was that they killed off the last surviving characters during the end credits. That seemed a little weak to me. Other than, it was damn entertaining.
I'm also a big fan of the more comedy-based zombie movies like Shaun of the Dead, the first two Return of the Living Dead movies.
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Kubo
Joined: Aug 24 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
Posts: 1062
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Syd Lexia wrote: |
I'm also a big fan of the more comedy-based zombie movies like Shaun of the Dead, the first two Return of the Living Dead movies. |
Shaun of the Dead was great. In addition to the obviously funny parts of the movie, near the end when they were stuck in the Winchester, it had some serious horror-type parts to it. Got good reviews from critics too- and their tastes never seem to match up with mine.
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Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us. |
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
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"Sky High" was both the best film of the summer and worst. I think I got confused writing the post, but I stand by it. So bad it's good.
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"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
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Syd Lexia wrote: |
I also enjoyed the DotD remake. The only thing that bugged me about it was that they killed off the last surviving characters during the end credits. |
I don't think they all died. But that sequel/credits was a damn good idea. Land of the Dead also ended too optimistically, but Romero wants to do a Volume II in the nigh future
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"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24873
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I don't think you actually see them killed, but it's definitely implied that Sarah Polley and Ving Rhames get killed shortly after they land on that island and the dog runs away.
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greeneyedzeke
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Posts: 287
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Hmm... so I'll do the five best and five worst of the summer.
BEST:
5. Batman Begins. Christian Bale is one of of my two favorite actors. Batman is my favorite superhero. I fucking hate Katie Holmes. Two out of three ain't bad.
4. The Devil's Rejects. A complete mindfuck of a movie that cons the audience into rooting both against and FOR the Firefly family. Bill Moseley proves he's one of the best actors in the horror/shock genre. Bonus points to Zombie for casting Ken Foree as Captain Spaulding's brother.
3. Charlie and Chocolate Factory. Despite what some critics said, Johnny Depp's take on the character of Willy Wonka had me in stitches a lot of the time and grinning like an idiot the rest of the time.
2. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. I'm a hugely unapologetic "Star Wars" geek (hell, I even liked Episodes I and II), but to my mind "Sith" is the best SW movie NOT called "The Empire Strikes Back".
1. Sin City. Michael Madsen's embarrassing performance aside, this (early) film won the summer. Robert Rodiguez is officially forgiven for "Sharkboy and Lava Girl".
WORST (Note, this year I actually avoided most of the films I figured were going to suck blatantly, "Herbie: Fully Loaded" aside.. and, yeah, that wasn't bad enough to make this list):
5. War of the Worlds. The concept of using "Saving Private Ryan's" cinematography to depict the all-out invasion of Earth by pissed off Martians made me ignore the fact that this flick starred Tom Cruise and was directed by Steven Spielberg, who hasn't really been relevant since, well, "Saving Private Ryan". And I HAVE to point out that the number one thing that bugged me in this film (aside from Tim Robbins and the last twenty minutes) was the fact that Tom Cruise was trying to get ONTO that boat. With the tripods bearing down on me, there's no way in HELL I'd confine myself in an overcrowded vessel stuck in the middle of the vast ocean. That was just asking for death.
4. Prozac Nation. Technically this film is from 2001. However, its U.S. release was shelved for years because no one wanted to put the movie out, partially due to the fact that it was based on a whiney memoir by Elizabeth Wurtzel, who fell out of favor after declaring in her best emo voice, "9/11 was, like, really beautiful in a way, y'know?" and partially due to the fact that the film just blew chunks. Finally, Miramax dumped the goddamn thing out on DVD this summer and my friend conned me into watching it by uttering the words "Christina Ricci naked". And that's true. She is very naked in the first ten minutes of the film. This fact alone does not alleviate the frustration of having to sit through the ensuing two hours. However, the pie-fucker from "American Pie" gives a pretty decent performance.
3 . The Ring 2. If I can count "Sin City" as a summer film, I can count this one, too. Despite the fact that "Ring 2" was directed by the original Japanese director of "Ringu", the film STILL suffered from an overwhelming sense of "some idiot fatcat in a boardroom felt the need to 'Americanize' the story". Japanese horror is a lot of things, sensical not being one of them. At least it revels in its insanity. The Hollywood remakes of these films (I'm looking at you, too, "The Grude") try to coerce the narratives into a more coherent whole, the results usually being something like "Fuck you, I don't care". However, "Ring 2" DID contain the year's best one-liner, so far, with Naomi Watts yelling "I'm not your fucking Mommy!". Classic.
2. Bloodrayne. I know, I know. It's not due out until January 2006, but preview screenings have already happened, so I'll overlook the fact that I haven't yet seen Uwe Boll's latest turd and just say what we all know to be true: it's going to suck. Hard. I've heard that it's "better than his last two", which is akin to saying that having one's genitals removed via vegetable peeler is better than being killed by repeated rectal stabbings with a corkscrew.
1. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolow. Again, I haven't actually seen Rob Schneider's latest opus, but I was in a Showcase Cinemas multiplex the same day that this film was playing a few rooms over. The unrelenting stupidity of the picture traversed the distance between us like an airborne illness and I felt my unspent sperm killing themselves in my scrotum in the hopes of avoiding ever being born into a world where movies like "Deuce Bigalow" could exist.
Yep, that's it.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24873
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I just couldn't bring myself to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It's gotten very favorable reviews, but the cynic in can't help but think it's because critics eat up (almost) everything that Depp and/or Burton do. Hell, I'm a big fan of both their bodies of work myself. But what I'm not a big fan of is remakes, especially when it's something as perfect as Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I mean, fuck, what's next? The Wizard of Oz? Gone With The Wind? But mostly, the trailer just really didn't do it for me. The best line they could find to put in the trailer was "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!" and that was a pretty terrible line. Oh, ha ha. Johnny Depp said nuts. If I was a ten, I probably would have found that hilarious... but I'm not. The other thing that bugged me is that fans of the movie have come in defense of it saying that it's actually truer to the book than the original. Truer how? Certainly not by adding in a subplot where Willy Wonka's father was an evil dentist.
Maybe I'll change my mind when I finally do see it though. It is incredibly hard to resist the combined appeal of Christopher Lee, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton.
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
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Syd Lexia wrote: |
I just couldn't bring myself to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It's gotten very favorable reviews, but the cynic in can't help but think it's because critics eat up (almost) everything that Depp and/or Burton do. Hell, I'm a big fan of both their bodies of work myself. But what I'm not a big fan of is remakes, especially when it's something as perfect as Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I mean, fuck, what's next? The Wizard of Oz? Gone With The Wind? But mostly, the trailer just really didn't do it for me. The best line they could find to put in the trailer was "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!" and that was a pretty terrible line. Oh, ha ha. Johnny Depp said nuts. If I was a ten, I probably would have found that hilarious... but I'm not. The other thing that bugged me is that fans of the movie have come in defense of it saying that it's actually truer to the book than the original. Truer how? Certainly not by adding in a subplot where Willy Wonka's father was an evil dentist. |
It's far from a bad movie... okay, I can see why people find it a bad movie, but I'll be honest. The original is WAAAAAAAY better. The songs (based on the book's lyrics) are pretty bad (but this is debatable). The subplot with Christopher Lee is horrible and integrated poorly in the film. The ending is detestable. I still liked it, but you can lead a long and happy life without seeing it.
BTW, I saw Deuce Bigalow 2. It was a fun waste of 70 mins. It wasn't a real movie by any means. The bad dates are thrown in there as an after effect. The best thing about it is Jeroen Krabbé is in it. He rocks. Rob Schneider does get his revenge on the Academy for not allowing him in their very ghey ranks.
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"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
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greeneyedzeke
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Posts: 287
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Syd Lexia wrote: |
I just couldn't bring myself to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It's gotten very favorable reviews, but the cynic in can't help but think it's because critics eat up (almost) everything that Depp and/or Burton do. Hell, I'm a big fan of both their bodies of work myself. But what I'm not a big fan of is remakes, especially when it's something as perfect as Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I mean, fuck, what's next? The Wizard of Oz? Gone With The Wind? But mostly, the trailer just really didn't do it for me. The best line they could find to put in the trailer was "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!" and that was a pretty terrible line. Oh, ha ha. Johnny Depp said nuts. If I was a ten, I probably would have found that hilarious... but I'm not. The other thing that bugged me is that fans of the movie have come in defense of it saying that it's actually truer to the book than the original. Truer how? Certainly not by adding in a subplot where Willy Wonka's father was an evil dentist.
Maybe I'll change my mind when I finally do see it though. It is incredibly hard to resist the combined appeal of Christopher Lee, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton. |
The trailer does it no justice at all. I'll say that right away. I had the exact same reaction when I first heard the "Don't touch..." line. And I know I'm swallowing a huge Hollywood buzzline here, but this is the one time where I honestly believe "remake" is the wrong term. It really is a "re-imagining", as stupid a term as that is. The best way to look at it is as another take on the book, not the prior movie. I think the two films combined could be shoved into a nice two DVD set together.
As far as the songs go, yeah, they got crapped on a lot and I don't really understand why. They're basically four wildly different styles that shakes things up a bit. I mean, the Veruca Salt one is practically a folk song. I'm not going to go so far as to say that this is Burton's best work (I'll still take "Ed Wood", the original "Batman", or "Beetlejuice" over it, but compared to some of the stuff he's been shoving out recently, it's a minor masterpiece). And, yeah, Christopher Lee always makes things better.
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B.B.King
Title: Total Fucking Loser
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Location: Truck stops and gay bars
Posts: 595
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Fuck that. Burton was just looking to cash in on an idea,by making the movie just different enough so people considered it "new".
Why didn't he make a movie based of the next book, "charlie and the great glass elevator".
Plus,the "remake" was terrible. johnny depps worst movie by far. it ruined my childhood.
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I am a worthless piece of crap. |
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
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B.B.King wrote: |
Plus,the "remake" was terrible. johnny depps worst movie by far. it ruined my childhood. |
You must have had a really shitty childhood.
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"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
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greeneyedzeke
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Posts: 287
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B.B.King wrote: |
Fuck that. Burton was just looking to cash in on an idea,by making the movie just different enough so people considered it "new".
Why didn't he make a movie based of the next book, "charlie and the great glass elevator".
Plus,the "remake" was terrible. johnny depps worst movie by far. it ruined my childhood. |
That's the first time I've heard that someone or something "ruined one's childhood" without George Lucas being mentioned, so I'm grateful for that. I don't know, man. I"m sorry you didn't like, but to each his own, I guess.
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
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greeneyedzeke wrote: |
That's the first time I've heard that someone or something "ruined one's childhood" without George Lucas being mentioned, so I'm grateful for that. |
Ditto.
Once again, those punks who say Star Wars has raped their childhood need to see someone, because they must have had some real lousy experiences.
B.B. - Don't take my response too seriously.
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"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
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B.B.King
Title: Total Fucking Loser
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Location: Truck stops and gay bars
Posts: 595
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all i meant is that the original,which was magical and well casted; a great experience and was one of my favorite movies.
then i saw the remake,filled with cheezy jokes,bad acting,shit that burton just made up on the spot and a completly cheese filming style,it ruined the franchise in my opinion. sorry,my point isnt getting across rigth because im still a littleeee drunk from earlier. in retrospect,it was a bad idea to get drunk on a wensday
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I am a worthless piece of crap. |
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