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Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
Posts: 7287
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If you got to travel back in time and could change any two minor moments in history, what would they be?
1.) I'd eliminate any research toward mentholating cigarettes.
2.) I'd ask Hans Asperger to change his last name or to get an assistant to take the credit for the Syndrome named after him, simply so I don't constantly think of "assburgers."
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 "Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!" |
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SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6113
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That's a really good question. I can think of plenty of events I'd like to witness, and big events I'd like to change...but small ones?
1) Convince Tolkien's publisher to publish his LoTR trilogy as one full book. In the end it didn't really matter I guess, but it always kind of bugged me that Tolkien had to arbitrarily chop his book into three parts when that wasn't how he envisioned it.
2) Stop them from axing the funding for SETI and other programs, preferably by kicking Sen. Richard Bryan square in the nuts.
3) (Fuck it, I want a third and I'll take it.) I would love to save Socrates from that damn poison. I know he was old anyway, but dammit it was such a travesty, and such a waste.
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| William Shakespeare wrote: |
| Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. |
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Bouya
Title: Delinquent
Joined: Aug 15 2007
Location: Suzuran
Posts: 1443
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1. I'd go back and run over a child version of Sam Walton with some large piece of farm equipment.
2. I'd go back and pump Tyson full of PCP before his fight with Buster Douglas.
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LowEndLem
Title: Not Gay
Joined: Mar 19 2009
Location: Illinois
Posts: 966
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1: Force Bill Hicks to get some form of treatment for his cancer.
2: Yeah, that's it.
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<docinsano>i beat off using save states
<Tako> But, brontosaurs ate plants. It wouldn't be a threat to Jesus.
Why? Fuck you, that's why. |
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Cattivo
Joined: Apr 14 2006
Location: Lake Michigan
Posts: 3332
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The only good changes I can think of would be major, while the only minor ones would probably reverse tv show cancellations or the way shows ended....
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Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
Posts: 1761
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1. I'd fire Abraham Lincoln's piss-poor bodyguards
2. I'd send a terminator back in time to kill Courtney Love's mother
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Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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1. Buy Sam Kinison a better car. Something with airbags would be nice.
2. Somehow stop John Wayne from dying of cancer.
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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 5228
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1. I'd make sure idiot female celebrities like Britney Spears knew to cover their vag when they were in public
2. I'd give JFK a noogie just before he was assassinated. That way, whenever I was walking down the street, people would be like "Hey, didn't you give JFK a noogie like 45 years ago? What the fuck did you do that for?"
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dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com - Updated sometimes, but on hiatus!
| UsaSatsui wrote: |
| The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus |
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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
Posts: 6544
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Jeebus, that might be the funniest thing I have read in a week. Fuck waterboarding, noogie's are pure torture.
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MOGHARR
Title: The Original CandyWafer
Joined: Apr 05 2007
Location: Under Jolly Roger
Posts: 2718
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"Well I don`t judge most things by graphics, reality has amazing graphics, and I don`t like it, that`s why I play video games." Laminated Sky on Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker |
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JStrangiato
Title: El Hombre Strangiato
Joined: Jun 12 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 1291
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| MOGHARR wrote: |
| 2. Make sure Paul Baloff and Cliff Burton and Chuck Schuldiner and Dimebag Darrell and Stevie Ray Vaughan and Jimi Hendrix and Piggy and Frank Zappa never died |
Fixed. 
I would also convince Metallica that "St. Anger" was a horrible idea. Or at least sneak into the recording studio and tune Lars' drums.
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My music/humor blog (R.I.P.): http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/
| Chondra "Mrs. Claudio" Sanchez on Enshin a.k.a. Jake Strangiato wrote: |
| I really like this person. |
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Ba'al
Title: Zerg Zergling
Joined: Mar 02 2008
Location: Uranus
Posts: 2286
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1. Convince everyone that Prohibition wasn't going to do jackshit.
2. Assassinate N'Sync before the crappy boy band genre kicks off.
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Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
Posts: 7287
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| Ba'al wrote: |
| 2. Assassinate Menudo and New Kids on the Block before the crappy boy band genre kicks off. |
Fixed.
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"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!" |
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Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
Posts: 4844
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Stop Skynyrd and Randy Rhoads from getting on those planes.
Make sure Bon Scott and John Bonham stay sleeping on their sides
Beat the fuck out of Mark David Chapman before he goes after Lennon
Save Martin Luther King
I can't really think of anything but saving my heroes' lives.
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Ba'al
Title: Zerg Zergling
Joined: Mar 02 2008
Location: Uranus
Posts: 2286
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| Ross Rifle wrote: |
| Make sure Bon Scott stays sleeping on his side |
For some reason, that made me snicker and sad at the same time...
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Teralyx
Title: Master Exploder
Joined: Jun 04 2008
Location: Goldenrod City
Posts: 1419
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1. Stop Syd from getting Sam Kinison a safer car
2. Stop Steve Irwin from dying
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<TheFlamingSchnitzel> Didn't your mom teach you not to punch girls?
<FigNewton> I was too busy /punchin' her/ |
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Chile Guy
Title: Token Latino Otaku
Joined: Apr 14 2008
Location: Fortaleza, Brazil
Posts: 479
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1. Make Chris Benoit stop taking steroids.
2. Admit Hitler on the Vienna Academy of Arts.
3. Tell the archduke Franz Ferdinand to grab a coin in the back seat.
4. Kill off the H1N1 vector. If it's human, then isolate him/her and then treat the disease properly.
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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 5228
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| Chile Guy wrote: |
2. Admit Hitler on the Vienna Academy of Arts. |
BZ is standing right here with me and he had just said that before I read this. In this same vein, I say give Fidel Castro a spot on the starting lineup of the Washington Senators.
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dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com - Updated sometimes, but on hiatus!
| UsaSatsui wrote: |
| The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus |
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Miguelius
Title: 83956789546
Joined: Apr 16 2009
Location: Chaco, Argentina
Posts: 420
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a minor change??
I would advise myself to keep the water on the fire a bit more so my coffe would still be hot
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Ba'al
Title: Zerg Zergling
Joined: Mar 02 2008
Location: Uranus
Posts: 2286
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| Chile Guy wrote: |
2. Admit Hitler on the Vienna Academy of Arts.
3. Tell the archduke Franz Ferdinand to grab a coin in the back seat. |
Arguably, stopping number three could stop number two too.
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Valdronius
Moderator
Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 4465
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1. Knock up Eve before Adam gets a chance to.
2. Find the first fish that decided to crawl on land and kick it back into the ocean.
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd. |
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Cameron
Title: :O � O:
Joined: Feb 01 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 4637
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1. Pull Ian Curtis aside and ask him, "Dude, what the heck is wrong?"
2.Tell my dad to avoid three certain women, thus preventing his second, third, and fifth marriages.
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MOGHARR
Title: The Original CandyWafer
Joined: Apr 05 2007
Location: Under Jolly Roger
Posts: 2718
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anorexorcist
Title: Polar Bear
Joined: May 21 2008
Location: The Cock and Plucket
Posts: 2131
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| Ross Rifle wrote: |
Stop Skynyrd and Randy Rhoads from getting on those planes.
Make sure Bon Scott and John Bonham stay sleeping on their sides
Beat the fuck out of Mark David Chapman before he goes after Lennon
Save Martin Luther King
I can't really think of anything but saving my heroes' lives. |
In the same vein, make sure Stevie Ray Vaughn doesn't get on a plane and make sure Hendrix is lying on his side.
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Lawyers, Guns and Money |
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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
Posts: 3129
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| Ross Rifle wrote: |
| Make sure Bon Scott and John Bonham stay sleeping on their sides. |
DAMN YOU
I wanted to save Bon Scott
1. i would go back to new york's big graffiti era (back in the seventies) and stay there
2. I would go back in time to before ross posted that and shut off the power to his house so i could save Bon Scott
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