SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic - What's the most assholish thing you've ever done?

Joined: Jul 16 2006 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 324

--At the beach with my family, I picked up a big ass jellyfish with a plastic shovel, and threw it at my cousin's back. It stung the hell out of him.

--My friend got fired by Blockbuster video, so he shit in an empty video box, and we drove it to the store at night and stuck it in the return slot. (Not really me, but I was there, LOL)

--Let the air out of the tire of a construction loader. THe next day it had almost fallen over it was angled so sharply.

--Shot my friend in the ass with a power washer. He bled.

--Clogged the toilet at my friend's apartment, didn't plunge it. My girlfriend went in after me and took a dump, and when it couldn't flush, I blamed her for clogging it.

--Many, many senseless acts of vandalsim. (I sort of regret them now, because I'd want to kill any kid who did that stuff to my car/house)

More to come when I have time...

Posted: Oct 05 2006 04:30 pm

Went out with a chick, she was droning on about the most mundane shit in the world, and wouldn't shut up. She acted like a fucking 12 year old spaz on top of that, just generally loud and annoyng. In the middle of dinner I gave her $20, said "I don't like you. You're boring. Here's cab money", and left.

Posted: Oct 05 2006 05:44 pm

Worked for Best Buy. Sad

Posted: Oct 05 2006 08:39 pm

Sock wrote:

Went out with a chick, she was droning on about the most mundane shit in the world, and wouldn't shut up. She acted like a fucking 12 year old spaz on top of that, just generally loud and annoyng. In the middle of dinner I gave her $20, said "I don't like you. You're boring. Here's cab money", and left.

That's not assholish, that's tasteful. If she was a stupid bitch, you did the right thing.

Joined: Aug 24 2005 Location: Mount Holly, NJ Posts: 1062

Waaaaay back in high school:

While getting a little cabeza action from my girlfriend at the time, I

1) was eating a salami and cheese sandwich and
2) turned on the Devils game so I could catch the start of the first period.

She finished and was not pleased that I didn't reciprocate. Then she stormed out very angry.

I would have stopped her, but it was the playoffs- my hands were tied.

Side note: Since this occurred 8 years ago, I have felt equal amounts of crippling shame and unbelievable pride about this. I mean, I was an asshole... but come on, I got head while eating a sandwich and watching a hockey game. That, my friends, is the top of the world.

Posted: Oct 05 2006 11:46 pm

Back when Goldberg was in the WWE, my friends and I were watching the Royal Rumble at a bar. When Lesnar, (who was a heel), ran into the ring and F5'ed Goldberg's ass, we cheered really loud. Everyone in the bar turned and gave us the evil eye. In their minds at least, we were assholes.

Posted: Oct 06 2006 02:22 am

Avian, if it was up to me you'd go to Hell. Today.

Posted: Oct 06 2006 05:01 am

Dr. Jeebus wrote:

Avian, if it was up to me you'd go to Hell. Today.

That's rather extreme.

Posted: Oct 06 2006 05:15 am

one time i shit on the pope. he forgave me.

Joined: Jul 16 2006 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 324

Dr. Jeebus wrote:

Avian, if it was up to me you'd go to Hell. Today.

Which of my offenses was the most hellworthy?

Posted: Oct 06 2006 03:01 pm

i think maybe throwing the mildly poisonous invertebrate at your cousin is probably the one thats gonna buy your buisness class ticket.

Joined: Jul 16 2006 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 324

B.B.King wrote:

i think maybe throwing the mildly poisonous invertebrate at your cousin is probably the one thats gonna buy your buisness class ticket.

Well considering that those lazy chunks of cytoplasmic shit are about the most worthless creatures on the face of the Earth (rivaled only by horseshoe crabs), the Almighty may actually be proud of me for finding a suitable purpose for them.

Posted: Oct 06 2006 05:11 pm

I burned a trash can and got arrested when I was 7.

I put smoke bombs in my friend's bookbag when I was 14. His mangas and books were ruined!^^

I beat up a bum on the street for no reason at all.

I threw Absinthe in somebody's face once (I could've drank that!)

In Japan, I smacked random people in the street when I was piss drunk until the cops came. I was arrested and held for 1 day, I swear.

Posted: Oct 06 2006 07:05 pm

Kubo wrote:

Waaaaay back in high school:

While getting a little cabeza action from my girlfriend at the time, I

1) was eating a salami and cheese sandwich and
2) turned on the Devils game so I could catch the start of the first period.

She finished and was not pleased that I didn't reciprocate. Then she stormed out very angry.

I would have stopped her, but it was the playoffs- my hands were tied.

Side note: Since this occurred 8 years ago, I have felt equal amounts of crippling shame and unbelievable pride about this. I mean, I was an asshole... but come on, I got head while eating a sandwich and watching a hockey game. That, my friends, is the top of the world.

Sir, you sound like the type of man I'm looking for to do a hockey podcast with me for TeH Internet.

Catch me on AIM if you're interested, ShoopufEatMoogle is the screen name.

Posted: Oct 08 2006 01:26 am

Avian wrote:

Dr. Jeebus wrote:

Avian, if it was up to me you'd go to Hell. Today.

Which of my offenses was the most hellworthy?

Any of them really, but the one that makes me most want to punch you in the teeth was the toilet one.

Joined: Jul 16 2006 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 324

Dr. Jeebus wrote:

Avian wrote:

Dr. Jeebus wrote:

Avian, if it was up to me you'd go to Hell. Today.

Which of my offenses was the most hellworthy?

Any of them really, but the one that makes me most want to punch you in the teeth was the toilet one.

Haha.....it was quite masterfully done, though. She was on the brink of tears.

Posted: Oct 09 2006 05:44 pm

Thank you, Captain Sadist.

Posted: Oct 09 2006 06:36 pm

You even kick my ass in the "Most stupid shit I ever did" contest, Avian.

Posted: Oct 09 2006 08:41 pm

Mr. Bomberman wrote:

You even kick my ass in the "Most stupid shit I ever did" contest, Avian.

It's all pretty normal, minus the vandalism. Vandalism is really fucking shitty. If I ever caught some kid scratching up my car, breaking the windows, slashing the tires, kicking dents in it, putting shit in my gas tank, oh my God, would there ever be a hospital bill for them to pay.

And a court date for me, too!

Posted: Oct 09 2006 08:50 pm

I second that!

Joined: Jul 16 2006 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 324

Wow I'm thinking some of you guys seriously hate me now Sad

Posted: Oct 10 2006 02:01 am

Speaking of how shitty vandalism is, someone spray painted the store I work and like every other store in the center of my town just after my bosses had finished paying $50,000 to redo the store front.

Posted: Oct 10 2006 07:46 am

I once tricked my brother into a brownie laden with cat shit.

I still don't feel bad, he was a dick to me when I was little. Twisted Evil

Joined: Jul 16 2006 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 324

Joe_Killer wrote:

I once tricked my brother into a brownie laden with cat shit.

I still don't feel bad, he was a dick to me when I was little. Twisted Evil

Did you actually bake the poo-brownie in the oven? If so, I'm never eating dinner at your house. Unless it's microwaved.

Posted: Oct 16 2006 02:01 am

Mr. Bomberman wrote:

I worked a McD's once. I hated them 'cause I was living in a bad area (Bedstuy in Brooklyn, NY) and a lot of people were cursing me out:

"When the FUCK is my shit gon' be ready?"

This guy was really being disrespectful to me and I jumped over the table, and beat his ass.

You people have done some shitty shit.