A 1971 film entitled, "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" gave us the most selfish and callous fictional character to ever tramp across celluloid: Grandpa Joe.

Here is a man, whose family is surviving upon the meager vocational sustenance of his daughter, a washwoman, and his grandson, a paperboy. They live in a shack and they eat cabbage water for dinner every night, yet Grandpa Joe lies there doing nothing, except playing footsie with the other three elderly swingers that share his bed. Charlie even starts buying the tobacco for Grandpa Joe's pipe.

All of a sudden, Charlie finds a Golden Ticket...pure luck. Now, Grandpa Joe can sing and dance all because he's going to a chocolate factory. It's a miracle. Starvation and child labor couldn't pry the old fart from his bedpan, but now a trip to some recluse's candy wonderland gets this egocentric asshole motivated???

I don't blame Charlie's other grandparents because they don't even feign interest in getting out of bed. But, Grandpa Joe jumps right up. He's an asshole.

Sorry to disturb those fond memories, but the fact is that Grandpa Joe is fueled by his vices. He's also the one that nearly screws it all up for Charlie...

"Here Charlie, lets drink some of this Fizzy Lifting Drink even though Willy said we shouldn't. I know we saw those other children get fucked-up in some horrible way by doing stuff Willy said not to do, but we'll be okay. I mean what could those orange midgets possible rhyme with 'Bucket'?"

Later that day...

"What? We don't get the year supply of chocolate because we stole something? That's bullshit. Let's sell the Gobstopper to Slugworth; I need a new brown suit."