This was recently started on the other forum I go to and it's pretty popular. I think this might take off even more here since most of the people are are infinitely more creative than a majority at the other site.
All you have to do is post an original poem. It's doesn't have to be great or funny, just whatever. I find this is a good exercise for free expression with a limited audience. I'll probably copy some of the ones I did from the other thread here, and make some originals too.
Lemme start:
Peter Teeter Twiddlebug
Cleans the cat shit off the rug
He holds it up into the air
Opens up his nose and smells
And throws it t'where the kitty dwells
Hoping kitty is still there
Kitty, kitty, in the vent
Had some sense but now it's spent
A hoarse mewing from the ceiling
Man of rouge threw it outside
It probably got lost and died
About this I have no feeling
Kitty gone into the sky
No one ever questions why
No one knows just what to say
Actu'ly we don't even care
At least it isn't here somewhere
Ruining our night and day
The feast of fleas is finally gone
and so ends my poem-song
But not without one more stanza
Terminal answer without loss
When asked "Well, wait, who IS the boss?"
Responding always, "Tony Danza"
RIP Hacker.
the_almighty_spehornoob
Joined: Sep 22 2008
Posts: 289
Posted:
Nov 06 2008 04:28 pm
I wrote this my senior year of high school, after getting prom prince. I was pondering popularity, because I was never sure when I went from the really weird but funny guy to being genuinely popular among the students. I was bored during class and popped this out.
The Sad, Sad Tale of Stacy McBride and Not That Tina Whatever-Her-Name-Is
There once was a girl
Named Tina DeMurl
Who was pure and sweet as a dove
But Stacy McBride
Popular all her life
Was always one step above.
When Tina DeMurl
That clever young girl
Came to school with a new pair of shoes
Miss Stacy McBride
Used her contacts inside
To get herself some snake skin boots.
When Tina DeMurl
That pretty young girl
Got a date with the school quarterback
Miss Stacy McBride
Used her beautiful eyes
To go to lunch with Ben Affleck.
Then Tina DeMurl
That clumsy young girl
Broke her leg and thought the kids would be scared
But Stacy McBride
Committed suicide
So nobody really cared.
FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posts: 12294
Posted:
Nov 06 2008 09:20 pm
Rycona
Moderator
Title: The Maestro
Joined: Nov 01 2005
Location: Away from Emerald Weapon
Posts: 2815
Posted:
Nov 06 2008 09:59 pm
I loved that show. It was one of the last things I liked on MTV. So sad.
Another morsel of bad poetry goodness:
As veiled catwalks of living wind around our feeble minds
From the darkness comes a whisper
A ghostly whisper
A foul whisper
A fowl whisper
And then he killed me
Howard the Duck
What the Fuck?
RIP Hacker.
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
Posted:
Nov 06 2008 10:23 pm
I hate my desk
Paid but not filed
The bills collect dust
The pen on top of them
Expands my disgust
My world is full
The clutter has no end
Receipts, packing slips
And statements they send
I begin to clear through it
The papers diminish
But new mail arrives
Just as I finish
The cycle continues
Day in and day out
I wish it weren't so
But it isn't manly to pout
So I stand up
And I walk away
It will get done again
Just not today
docinsano
Title: Boner King
Joined: Jan 08 2008
Location: Mpls Mini Soda
Posts: 2314
Posted:
Feb 19 2009 10:39 pm
made up this stupid Rhyme in the IRC just a minute ago
Johnny pulled his pork on a sandwich
Every time he banged a chick he yelled "YEAH BITCH"
One night he seasoned his pork just right
And his girlfriend ate it in one bite...
This is the most Piss Poor
Piece of shit I've seen!
It's not Vulgar
And not a bit Obscene.
It lacks Brains
And doesn't please me
It hardens my Veins
and melts my cheese
so don't try
to write poetry please
A mass of ice was found one day
Beneath a mining town.
This piqued the Emp'ror's int'rest
So he sent the army down.
Klimbatize wrote:
A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd.
Kubo
Joined: Aug 24 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
Posts: 1062
Posted:
Feb 20 2009 12:40 am
Valdronius wrote:
A mass of ice was found one day
Beneath a mining town.
This piqued the Emp'ror's int'rest
So he sent the army down.
And when the forces trudged on down
And settled far below,
They found Judecca, Satan, Cain,
Amidst the ice and snow.
Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us.
Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
Posted:
Feb 20 2009 02:15 am
docinsano wrote:
Knyte wrote:
Roses are Red
Fuck You.
This is the most Piss Poor
Piece of shit I've seen!
It's not Vulgar
And not a bit Obscene.
It lacks Brains
And doesn't please me
It hardens my Veins
and melts my cheese
so don't try
to write poetry please
You don't like my prose?
Well too bad, because I do
I like this one too
Lottel
Title: of the Eternal BWOG
Joined: Sep 02 2008
Posts: 1123
Posted:
Feb 20 2009 02:28 am
I haven't posted this yet? Bah. I got a standing ovation at my senior poetry slam. Well, from the back row.
Red Light
I press the button
On with the red light,
The screen turns black
Showng the copyright
The screen fades white
That hero of mine
He runs past
Leaving little lines
With another pass
Your name is displayed
As your voice sings
I am left…dismayed
My head swims
With memories of you
Of your man of green
and hedgehog of blue
For years you sat there
Black and sleek
Not one knew
Of your future bleak
Flash forward several years
Because of bad marketing
And that new playstation
The masses let fall their king
You’re still around,
Barley hanging on
But merely shadows
Of what is gone
The screen flickers
From lack of play
So I start and
Continue ’till day
A solitary figure
That remembers your plight
I am alone
With your red light
SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6108
Posted:
Feb 20 2009 02:41 am
Wow, great stuff guys. I never would have pegged some of you for poets, but there's a lot of talent here. Lots of different styles too, which is awesome to see.
This is one I wrote my freshman year of college, for a creative writing class. I'm not much of a poet normally (I love reading it, but I write prose a hell of a lot better), but this one turned out really well imho.
"The Sky King"
Perched regally upon a streetlight
He pierces me
With golden raptor-eyes,
Unafraid and unmoved
By the presence of a trespasser in his domain.
What can I do but respectfully return his attention?
The spell is broken as his gaze moves on
To more interesting things.
I am neither small enough to eat
Nor powerful enough to pose a threat.
Not to one such as him.
Spying prey in the far-off distance
(Or perhaps I have just bored him),
He takes wing with a leisurely flap,
Effortlessly defying laws
That keep my shoes stuck firmly to the concrete below.
So I am alone again,
Staring after him in awe
And envy.
Left with a reminder
Of who owns the land on which I tread.
That's the only poem I've ever personally been proud of.
William Shakespeare wrote:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
Posts: 4844
Posted:
Feb 20 2009 02:52 am
Jump
I get up,
And nothing gets me down.
You've got it tough,
I've seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby,
Just how you feel.
You've got to roll with the punches.
To get to what's real.
Now can't you see me standing here
I've got my back against the record machine.
I ain't the worst that you've see.n
Oh, can't you see what I mean?
Might as well jump!
Go ahead and jump!
Might as well jump!
Go ahead and jump!
Too depressing? Ok, try this one:
Spider-Man
Spider-Man, Spider-Man,
Does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web any size,
Catches thieves just like flies.
Look out!
Here comes the Spider-Man.
Is he strong? Listen bud,
He's got radioactive blood.
Can he swing from a thread?
Take a look overhead!
Hey there,
There goes the Spider-Man!
In the chill of night,
At the scene of the crime,
Like a streak of light,
He arrives just in time!
Spider-Man, Spider-Man,
Friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.
Wealth and fame, he's ignorant,
Action is his reward.
To him life is a great big bang-up.
Wherever there's a hang up,
You'll find the Spider-Man!
Super-Lightning-Awesome Bonus Points if you can catch the obscure reference I just made.
I've cut down the tree,
For it's single fruit
I've reached for it's limb,
And begun to loot
I pierce my whites in,
And suck the juice out
Some call this sin,
But this is sin?
I surely doubt
I discard the husk,
with syrupy tang,
As I hear the tree shriek
And finally give out,
Now to plant a seed
"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
Cameron
Title: :O � O:
Joined: Feb 01 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 4637
Posted:
Feb 21 2009 12:24 am
I call this poem "Sister":
Living with you is a constant hell
Sometimes I want to push you down a well
You shut my hand in a car door
That's why it's funny that you're poor
Don't steal my CDs, sister
Lest I give you a blister
Looks like you were gypped in the gene pool
Ha! You didn't graduate High School.
I hate the shirts that show off your chest
You're quite the harlot, give it a rest
Do you really have to beat your kids?
They would've been better off with SIDS
My patience for you is growing thin
Unlike your thighs; gluttony is a sin!
Your weight simply astounds me
Just lose some pounds, please!
If I saw you drowning in a river
I wouldn't care, even a sliver
I'm shocked that someone tapped that
Who would've thought, since you're so fat?
You'd certainly give me a limp
If you sat on me, you blimp
No more loans from the bank
No one trusts you, skank
You used to turn me black and blue
And for that, I'll always hate you
Thanks to you, my patience lasts longer
What didn't kill me made me stronger
Like a zeppelin, making innocents cry
You'll always be mommy's little spy
I hope you fall into a punji pit
On your grave, I can't wait to spit
I guess I've shown enough contempt
All this catharsis is leaving me verklempt
So I suggest you stop having babies
And go rot in the depths of Hades.
Here's another one, I'm not sure what to call it:
This is a horrible feeling
Like I'm dying inside
It's leaving me reeling
And it won't subside
For three years, depressed
As if I've been dreaming
For too long, repressed
And it's kicking and screaming
It's slamming me into the ground
Choking me until I can't breathe
I'll be lost and never found
I wish the feeling would leave
Honestly, this isn't fair
I'm drowning in emotional tides
And I'm wondering, do I dare?
To play chess from both sides?
If I accept fate
If I succumb to the curse
I'll collapse under its weight
I'll forever change for the worse
I suppose my heart will mend
When I begin life "anew"
But what about my friends?
By then there'll be so few
What will be their reaction
To the pull that's tearing me down?
They'll probably form a faction
To chase me out of town
As I make the preparations
To wander into the abyss
Let this be a declaration:
I do not want this
No looking back now
The point of no return
I make my final bow
The me I knew will burn
We start to chat
The sparks fly
Yet despite all of that
I want to die
She's intelligent, sweet, and kind
And beautiful in that dress
All the while, in the depths of my mind
I feel death's cold caress
I get lost in the maze
And find what I dread
Through the dark infernal haze
I see only her bed
Her influence begins to persist
She wants to consummate
I am powerless to resist
I drown in my own self-hate
This is my own death
At the hands of nails and lace
I let out my final breath
And accept her unwanted embrace
Chalk it up to foresight
This is my plight
My fate is inevitable
Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
Posts: 4844
Posted:
Feb 21 2009 04:57 am
Cam, I love em. You're like an angsty Dr. Seuss, and I mean that as a total compliment!
I have an absolute balls-load of poetry, most of them, oddly enough, about nature and, not so oddly, the state of the world and my surroundings. I'll post more a little later, but right now I'll post 'Upon The Midnight Shore', which I wrote in Grade 12. I believe I wrote it after studying just way too much Wordworth and Byron for Lit 12 late one night. I wrote some music for it and decided to put it as a spoken word piece on my debut album (when it finally comes out). So far this seems to be the one song that sticks out and nobody wants to end.
Okay, here's some serious ones I did long, long ago:
Curtain Call:
I took a journey
with myself and me
Looking for new things
for us to see
The rain came down
and clensed my soul
Darkness shadowed everything
Darkness shadowed everything
Darkness shadowed everything
Everything but me...
The angels fell down from above
on torn and broken wings
An old man came up to me
Told me this was the end
That's it, there is no more show
Time to pack, it is time to go
And so departed everyone
And so departed everyone
And so departed everyone
Everyone but me....
Four horses rode over the sky
The lead rider turned to me
He said, you are the only one who is truly free.
Nothing but death everywhere
Nothing but death everywhere
Nothing but death everywhere
Everywhere except for me...
I am finally free
I am finally free...
********************************************
The Prayer:
At what point did you stop listening
at what point did you just not care
Christianity as now evolved
into a uncaring Hippocratic affair
God tells us not to judge others
that's reserved for her to bring down
yet Christians are the first to
protest every "sin" shop in town
There are Christian preachers on the TV
trying to collect money for god,
what does god need money for?
not to buy his vessel a new hot tub
God once told her children when wronged
to turn the other cheek and forgive
yet your kids join the army to seek vengeance
upon our enemies and then kill other peoples kids
The church says they speak through the holy
spirit of the almighty lord
but it seems their decisions are mostly made
by the richest chairman of the board
And then we come to those who believe
themselves to be the holiest and devout
whose 'better than you' attitude threatens
you to hell if you don't turn about
What ever happen to love, cherish,
and respect your mate for all of your mortal life
While the husband drinks at the bars
then goes home and beats his wife
Not to mention loving and protecting
the children and teaching them the light
Yet the holiest of the holy priests
molests them into the night
God gives us free will, our own voice,
and the right to choose our own path
Well you all decided you knew best,
chose wrong, and now await her wraith
But she's not angry or mad, she's not planning to
destroy us all with the vengeance of her fist
she is looking down upon us crying
and wiping away her tears up in heaven's mist.
Slient flames lick the earth beneath our feet
The burning sensation fills our souls
Stuck forever in it's uncaring enbrace
Until our bodies begin to grow cold
Do you see the stars above
Shining down upon empty lives
This is us, and our tears
The song we weave, cold as ice
As we walk in shadows together
Angels danced with you and me
Touched by grace and mortal fear
In the distant howls eternity
Do you see the stars above
Shining down upon our empty souls
This is us, crying out
We surrender, can't take any more
Forever the night shall walk to us, and show us things that should not be.
Forgot all they have done to us, Forgive all deeds, and simply be...
simply be...
simply be...
You and Me...
Captain_Pollution
Title: Hugh
Joined: Sep 23 2007
Posts: 1591
Posted:
Feb 21 2009 09:13 am
I've written some in the past; might post some later.
Lottel
Title: of the Eternal BWOG
Joined: Sep 02 2008
Posts: 1123
Posted:
Feb 21 2009 02:46 pm
My Katamari
“In a freak accident,” said the King
“I had, in the cosmos, destroyed everything.
Now Earth is alone in the sky
And no one down there quite knows why.”
“So in order to please everyone,
I shall send you down to Earth, my son.
Here take this tie-dye ball
And go to Earth and roll up it all.”
So here I am with my katamari
Rolling up thumbtacks, penguins, calamari,
Sandals, spiders, teddy bears,
Tube socks, toilet paper, and underwears.
I’ve got mahjong tiles and postage stamps,
Nails, screws, and magic genie lamps.
Erasers, pencils, glue and staplers,
School books, backpacks, and notebooks of papers.
Rolled up I have both golf and ping-pong balls.
I’ve collected both action figures and girls dolls.
I have swans and geese and crows and ducks,
And those ceramic cats that give good luck.
Sheep and fish, dogs and cats,
Turtles, tortoises, mice, and rats.
Shoes, juice, milk, and memory cards.
Those stupid flamingoes people put out in there yards.
Calculators, purses, cell phones,
Bug zappers, moths, garden gnomes.
Flowers, apples, bushes, trees,
School girls, bikes, and little old ladies.
Sandcastles, swimmers, and otters.
First the mother, then her sons and daughters.
Piggy banks, Famicoms, candy bars.
C batteries, 9-volts and RC cars.
Now, you may think that I’m kinda mean.
Getting enjoyment out of hearing their screams.
I like to watch them run and hide.
None have escaped, though many have tried.
I roll up cities, people and all.
Everything sticks to my tie-dye ball.
Sure, it important to light up the heavens,
But I’m just doing this for the presents.
-------------------------
And wrote this back with... Halo 2? It was for my first experience playing on XBL so long ago.
Ode to a Sniper Bitch
O sniper bitch,
Hiding in that rocky crag,
Hiding from sight
Yelling out “Fag!”
When you start
The match, you run
To get your very
favorite gun.
If someone else gets
It you cry foul
You throw down the controller,
Kick and howl.
If you get your rifle
You run and hide
Yelling out comments,
Most are snide
You make jokes
About my mama
‘Bout how she ‘did it’
With a llama
Every shot you shoot
Is a headshot
But you always say something
About crotch rot
No rockets for you,
Just a sniper.
You got a gay name
Like “Death’s Viper”
Your favorite game
Is “Abuse the Newbie’
Let’s see you play
A game that’s 2-D
You say “I’ll kick
Your ass IRL!”
Well, asshole,
I’ll see you in hell.
Asmodeous667
Title: Keeper of the briefcase
Joined: Nov 13 2007
Location: The Alaska tundra
Posts: 149
Posted:
Feb 23 2009 06:56 am
Here's a few of mine but they're a tad on the dark side...
Insomnia part-1
Can’t sleep,
Lying awake.
Losing touch,
Losing reality,
Losing myself.
Got to find a way out.
Why won’t this pain end?
Why won’t someone help?
Why won’t someone make it stop?
All I hear is laughter...
Laughter at my pain,
Laughter at my suffring,
Laughter at my feelings.
My emotound are being shown to the blind.
My feelings are falling into deaf ears.
Why can’t they see how I feel?
Why can’t they hear what I’m saying?
They need to know what I’m feeling.
The masks need to go.
The scars need to be shown.
Thats the only way anyone can start to heal.
Thoughts need to be listened to.
Feelings need to be known.
The songs need to be heard.
Good....... Bad......... I'm the guy with the gun
Cameron
Title: :O � O:
Joined: Feb 01 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 4637
Posted:
Mar 05 2009 12:41 am
This poem is titled, "Nothing":
You say I'll make it through the night
Ahead, I see only black
You say I'll end up alright
Yet my troubles only stack
I can see through your lies
Don't waste your time with me
You won't reap what you sow
Abandon me, shun me, leave
My contempt will only grow
This shouldn't come as a surprise
I won't bother making amends
My apathy, I can't forgive
My morale is at an end
I've lost the will to live
I've come to realize
I look inside and see decay
Rotting more and more by the hour
I accept the truth day by day
Emotion is like a flower
Even the most beautiful kind dies
Identity begins to fade
As I become just like the others
I guess this is the price I've paid
For trying to repress another
Just tried to swat the flies
I'm so lost in the void
No hope of making it through
With natural order, I've toyed
Bit off more than I could chew
Embodied emptiness in disguise
I stare at the blood
Watch it drip
Self-loathing floods
My will slips
No one will hear my cries
From the start I've been damned
Trapped in my own agony
Even if I make a stand
And attempt to resist apathy
I will meet my own demise
Let this be a lesson to you
Don't shove your feelings away
Everything will melt into blue
Your sentiment and passions will stray
Just a word to the wise
