| Author |
Message |
glycerine92
Joined: Dec 06 2008
Location: Pearland, TX
Posts: 88
|
Post them all here...
Here's a few:
When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris
After a long night of partying, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up. He throws down.
When you slow down Chuck Norris's high kick, you can see him simultaneously raping the guy.
just a few, but I'm hoping to get more.
|
 ^^^All genius^^^ |
|
   |
|
|
Burt Reynolds
Title: Bentley Bear
Joined: Apr 07 2008
Location: California
Posts: 1399
|
The top three killers in the world are Cancer, Heart Disease and AIDS. Chuck Norris has all three of them.
Chuck Norris was originally Chuck Wilson, but he took on his wifes last name after they married.
|
Dances with Wolves 2 is gonna ROCK! |
|
 |
|
|
ReeperTheSeeker
Joined: Aug 26 2007
Posts: 2752
|
Only the Chuck Norris Can overpower the falcon punch
|
|
|
|
|
|
APLETHORAOFPINATAS
Joined: Jun 10 2008
Posts: 172
|
That may be the dumbest joke ever. Seriously?! the Falcon punch?! Good god you lead a sad life.
|
In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo! |
|
|
|
|
ReeperTheSeeker
Joined: Aug 26 2007
Posts: 2752
|
| APLETHORAOFPINATAS wrote: |
| That may be the dumbest joke ever. Seriously?! the Falcon punch?! Good god you lead a sad life. |
Seriously? I just told the dumbest joke ever . . . I guess i can cross that off of my list of "Things to do before my Sad life ends"
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kubo
Joined: Aug 24 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
Posts: 1062
|
I prefer Jack Bauer jokes:
-If everyone on 24 followed Jack Bauer's instructions, the show would be called 12.
-The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer out of gratitude for saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying as they tried to cross the street. Nobody crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
-If Jack Bauer had been a Spartan, the movie would have been called "1."
|
Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us. |
|
 |
|
|
King
Title: CTE
Joined: Apr 27 2008
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 1506
|
Chuck Norris' sperm can cure cancer, too bad he has Aids
|
|
|
|
|
|
username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16136
|
| Kubo wrote: |
| -If Jack Bauer had been a Spartan, the movie would have been called "1." |
lol WIN
|
| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
|
|
 |
|
|
glycerine92
Joined: Dec 06 2008
Location: Pearland, TX
Posts: 88
|
There are no lesbians in the world - only girls who haven't met Chuck Norris
|
^^^All genius^^^ |
|
|
|
|
MOGHARR
Title: The Original CandyWafer
Joined: Apr 05 2007
Location: Under Jolly Roger
Posts: 2718
|
| Kubo wrote: |
I prefer Jack Bauer jokes:
-If everyone on 24 followed Jack Bauer's instructions, the show would be called 12.
-The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer out of gratitude for saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying as they tried to cross the street. Nobody crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
-If Jack Bauer had been a Spartan, the movie would have been called "1." |
Haha, MOAR
Chuck Norris jokes are fucking boring, they're old and annoying.
|
"Well I don`t judge most things by graphics, reality has amazing graphics, and I don`t like it, that`s why I play video games." Laminated Sky on Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker |
|
 |
|
|
Kubo
Joined: Aug 24 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
Posts: 1062
|
| MOGHARR wrote: |
Haha, MOAR
|
Surely:
-Jack Bauer once showed up late for work. CTU adjusted their clocks accordingly.
-On his tax returns, Jack Bauer has to claim the entire world as his dependents.
-Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer's mind. Now he's in a wheelchair.
-Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd. Nobody fools Jack Bauer.
-Upon hearing that he was played by Keifer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
-When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
-Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a full loaded gun and won.
-A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.
|
Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us. |
|
|
|
|
Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
Posts: 3129
|
Jesus walked on water chuck norris walked on jesus
|
|
|
|
|
|
Shut up, Dorn
Title: White Chocolate
Joined: Jan 04 2008
Location: Grate Whyte Norf
Posts: 1179
|
Most children wear Superman pajamas, but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares at them until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can e-mail a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
I dont watch 24, so fuck you. And you butchered the cancer one. It goes: Chuck Norris' tears have been known to cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
|
|
|
|
|
|
King
Title: CTE
Joined: Apr 27 2008
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 1506
|
No I like my cancer one better.
Chuck Norris once attempted round house kicking Jet Li. His leg broke when it connected with the television, then he fell and broke his hip.
When Chuck Norris has sex with men, it's not because he ran out of women, but because women couldn't find his penis when he wanted to have sex with them.
Chuck Norris' penis is so small that when he has an orgasm the sperm are released in a single file line.
Chuck Norris experiences heavy flow on account of his wide-set vagina.
Chuck Norris and the Total Gym sold out for the same reason: they're both CHEAP.
|
|
|
|
|
|
MOGHARR
Title: The Original CandyWafer
Joined: Apr 05 2007
Location: Under Jolly Roger
Posts: 2718
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
