That's right.
I make fucking better cookies than you do.
Today I made a batch of chocolate chip w/ Reese's Pieces.
MMMMMMMM Mother fucking good!
Why are they better than yours?
Ok, so here are my tricks.
Start with the Toll House recipe on the back of every fucking bag of chocolate chips. But make some fixes
1) I blend all wet ingredients first with a kitchen aid mixer. Sugar goes in next, then brown sugar, followed by salt and baking soda. Flour is dead last, and put in very slow. I blend that shit until it is silky smooth.
2) Multiply whatever vanilla they tell you to use by 3.
3) Make sure you pre-heat the oven to 375. DO NOT FUCKING PRETEND IT IS 375. If you don't have an oven thermometer, get one.
4) Buy one of these:
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/b262/index.cfm?pkey=xsrd0m1|16|||0|||||||cookie%20sheet&cm_src=SCH Yes... it matters. You don't spray these pans, you simply put your dough on it and put it in the oven.
5) 9 cookies at a time. Period. Center of the oven.
5a) Roll that cookie dough into balls in your palms. Don't just use a spoon or some shit. This is where you put the love into the cookie. If your pants come off, you fail at understanding.
6) Cook for 9 minutes. Get it... 9 cookies, 9 minutes.
7) Wipe the cookie sheet clean before you use it again.
And there you have it.
Cookies that are better than you ever made before in your life. Hell, they are better than the ones your grandma made. Eat em up, because if you don't, my wife will smell them and come over and steal them from you.
