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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
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My women
Date: 2008-08-13, 6:40AM EDT
Laura. You were hot. I was not. You let me fuck you because I was funny. Thank you.
Kim. We smoked a lot of weed and drank all the time. I don't remember much.
Sarah. You were hot. But a total bitch. I could have done better. You treated me like shit. I put up with it because you had a great vagina. Beautiful.
Another Kim. You thought you were smart. You weren't. I was bored.
Charlee. I liked your name and the way it was spelled.
Rachel. You were really sweet and nice. Stop emailing me. It's been fifteen years. It's creeping me out and pissing off my wife. Fucking classmates.com.
Megan. I wanted you since highschool. I was kinda dissapointed when it happened.
Jennifer. What the hell was I thinking? What the hell were you thinking? You smelled kinda funny too. Your dad was a dick.
Jill. You had HUGE nipples. Couldn't feel a thing though. Shame all that nippleage going to waste.
Michelle. You were a drug addict. You have to be pretty fucked up for me of all people to say that.
Another Megan. I lost your number.
Laura. I did it for the novelty of going out with a girl that I went out with ten years before. You were still hot. I got kinda hot. We were better matched. Thanks again. Sorry I dumped you. You were a shitty tipper. I had no choice. Some handsome and cool shitty tipping guy probably grabbed you. Or some funny wanker.
Another another Megan. I've dated a lot of Megans. This one was no prize.
Debby. You were really smart except you had no self esteem. Be careful or some asshole is going to own you and that would be sad. You're smart and pretty and have great tits. Smaller tits can be awesome too.
Sophia. Liked your name. Liked that you worked out a lot. You seemed nice but you fucked up my credit. User.
Andrea. You had that adorable petit look that I can only call the "Penelope Cruz" look. Too bad you didn't have her personality.
Emily. NOBODY FUCKING CARES YOUR FAMILY IS RICH. You'd be okay if you were not preoccupied with wealth you did not personally aquire.
Dr. Sanderson. You worked to much. You were kinda cold. I thought you were cool though but you are so career motivated you probably did not give a shit about anything else. I got drunk once and thought about asking you to marry me though. I still wonder if you would have.
Elizabeth. You are my wife. My wife is perfect. My life is perfect.
Violet. You are my daughter. When I looked in on you tonight I had that rush of feeling so strong that a shiver went through my whole body and I had to move my hands really quickly to dissipate it's physical effect. Before I met you I was a "kids are no big deal, everyone's got kids and they're not that fucking special" kinda guy. You fucking ruined me. I'm gay for kids now. I love you so much baby.
My unborn 6 month old fetal daughter. If you come out retarded or ugly as shit I'll still love and protect you.
Location: Gaults Gulch
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/det/794605266.html
i thought it had some chuckle moments
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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Andrew Man
Title: Is a Funklord
Joined: Jan 30 2007
Location: Annandale, VA
Posts: 5603
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That was hilarious haha, the shit people post on craig's list is totally ridiculous.
"Another another Megan. I've dated a lot of Megans. This one was no prize."
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My Muzaks! CHECK IT OUT!!!
http://www.facebook.com/hellodharmaband
3DS is very good, and Wii U!
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
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What the fuck people! I need a motherfuckin job, and I have a resume that says I am fucking fit to be your goddamn front desk/administrative assistant. I have applied to a ton of jobs on here, and not one of them responded, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Cover Letter? Here's my fucking cover letter!
Now, I'm really low on money, and I'll suck a dick if I have to...that's right!
Got a bear in your backyard that keeps eating your garbage? I'll fight that motherfucker and I'll win! Can any other prospective employee say that?! FUCK NO! What'd you say? You lost your keys? FUCK IT! I'll shoot the goddamn lock off your door with my laser eyes! That's how bad I need a motherfuckin job! Your brother is gay and you're not cool with that? I'll de-gay him with reverse buttsex. Don't believe me?! Then hire me and I'll fucking show you! |
more at the link lol:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/942873935.html
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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JStrangiato
Title: El Hombre Strangiato
Joined: Jun 12 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 1291
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| username wrote: |
| Quote: |
What the fuck people! I need a motherfuckin job, and I have a resume that says I am fucking fit to be your goddamn front desk/administrative assistant. I have applied to a ton of jobs on here, and not one of them responded, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Cover Letter? Here's my fucking cover letter!
Now, I'm really low on money, and I'll suck a dick if I have to...that's right!
Got a bear in your backyard that keeps eating your garbage? I'll fight that motherfucker and I'll win! Can any other prospective employee say that?! FUCK NO! What'd you say? You lost your keys? FUCK IT! I'll shoot the goddamn lock off your door with my laser eyes! That's how bad I need a motherfuckin job! Your brother is gay and you're not cool with that? I'll de-gay him with reverse buttsex. Don't believe me?! Then hire me and I'll fucking show you! |
more at the link lol:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/942873935.html |
I would hire that man in an instant, but only if he made good on his promise to fight a bear.
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My music/humor blog (R.I.P.): http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/
| Chondra "Mrs. Claudio" Sanchez on Enshin a.k.a. Jake Strangiato wrote: |
| I really like this person. |
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