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Posted: Aug 14 2008 05:18 pm

http://sydlexia.com/bullshit_nes_endings.htm

I didn't have time to put it on the main page before I went out for the night, but live from my mobile phone, here's the link to the newest article.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

15) In my dreams I have character selections.

14) Agree, its a good thing this game has passwords so that once you beat it, you can cheat and get the good ending.

10) LOL Holy crap... I totally forgot about that. You are so right. I used to think I just didn't get it. But now I realize that no one gets it.

4) Ok... so lets assume that the best paperboy in the entire world back in 1984 made $100 bucks in one week. I mean they really delivered a shitload of papers. So they take 100% of their money and invest in the Microsoft IPO. They wait until 1999 when the stock hits its peak and sell sell sell. They walk away with $29,000. If he is a good investor he could have made about 10% a year if he got out of high tech and could potentially double his money. So in 2008 he could have $60k if he did everything right.

But guess what, he fucking spent that money on arcade games and ice cream. He also bragged about his money and got a girl at school to sleep with him. He walked away with hepatitis and child support.

That paper route that was so great ended up fucking his whole life up. Poor kid.

Posted: Aug 14 2008 06:00 pm

well done. enjoyable read.

Posted: Aug 14 2008 06:31 pm

Awesome article! Best one I have seen since the SNES one.

Posted: Aug 14 2008 08:36 pm

Nice article, Syd! But where is Rygar? After all that time trying to beat the game without being able to save, it had to be one of the most underwhelming endings I've ever seen.

Posted: Aug 14 2008 09:48 pm

But it had rainbows!

Posted: Aug 14 2008 10:53 pm

I don't think rainbows justify the fact that the game needed a freaking battery in the cartridge but didn't have one. Laughing

Posted: Aug 15 2008 01:15 am

That was a sweet article. I think another candidate for a bullshit NES title would ne Adventures of Lolo. The fact that you don't get a boss battle, for the most part.

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Aug 15 2008 02:22 am

I do remember the TMNT ending being supremely lame for the effort. Just a note, I do remember a cartoon plot that involved an "anti-mutagen gun" that Shredder had that could restore Splinter, but also had the side effect of...y'know, screwing over the Turtles. IIRC, Splinter himself destroyed it.

Shredder having an instant-kill move that turns you into a normal turtle is a common theme in the video game series, too. Friggin sucks being hit by that thing when you're paying actual quarters to play the games.

N.A.R.C...uh...holy f*ck?

StarTropics 2 was such an awful, awful game. I only slogged through it because, well, the ending for StarTropics 1 was really good...probably one of the -best- NES endings...and I wanted to see what they could come up with. I was...well, pissed.

And someone deserves to be shot in the head for that SMB3 ending. I'm guessing that Howard Phillips was probably responsible. Didn't the remakes have a "real" ending there?

One big one you forgot: Final Fantasy.

Posted: Aug 15 2008 03:04 am

Actually, the Japanese version of SMB3 had something more serious like "bla bla bla, finally peace returns to the mushroom kingdom, thank you, bla bla, the end." Nice article anyway. Nothing beats the engrish lulzness of Ghosts n' Goblins' ending.

But the worst NES ending I've seen was Shinobi, you just get a got damn picture of the main character, with text on the bottom saying "THE END" and your final score. That's it.

Posted: Aug 15 2008 05:18 am

Highly entertaining read.

Joined: Aug 13 2008 Location: Watertown, NY Posts: 131

Ah, endings, how quaint.

Posted: Aug 15 2008 11:21 am

Kudos for including Tombs & Treasure's ending. If you didn't, there would've been hell to pay.

And UsaSatsui, Zoda's Revenge: StarTropics II did NOT suck. I would've put it on the NES list where R. C. Pro-Am is.

Joined: Feb 24 2006 Posts: 2578

Another highly entertaining article, Syd!

The first time I ever beat SMB3, I about had a heart attack when the princess said "but our princess is in another castle." Embarrassed

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Aug 15 2008 02:37 pm

Quote:

And UsaSatsui, Zoda's Revenge: StarTropics II did NOT suck. I would've put it on the NES list where R. C. Pro-Am is.

RC Pro-am sucked too. Smile

Posted: Aug 15 2008 02:41 pm

And yet, it beat Harvest Moon.

Docinsano's Channel 63 · Posted: Aug 15 2008 03:00 pm

Nice article. I may just have to beat an Nes game to see the ending now.

I remember i used game genie to beat TMNT and was so pissed that i wasted my time doing so because the ending was definitely not worth using game genie for.

Posted: Aug 15 2008 03:17 pm

This is actually my wallpaper on my computer at home! Cool

Also Bad Dudes NES had some of the most terrible controls I can remember playing.

The ending to Japanese Mario 2 is kinda lame, just a goofy poem and some toads flying around Mario, were they supposed to be jumping? Flying? Teleporting? WTF?

Docinsano's Channel 63 · Posted: Aug 15 2008 03:33 pm

SHUT UP BAD DUDES KICKED SOME BAD ASS MOFO!!!!!!!!

Okay, it was terribly average. But hey, it was an easy game though.

Posted: Aug 15 2008 06:33 pm

The Ghost n' Goblins one was the best; just reading it aloud is fucking hilarious.

Posted: Aug 16 2008 09:48 pm

At least these games have endings, instead of just doing that "loop over from the start point" bullshit.

Great article, Syd.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

I was just thinking, since I suck at the NES, I never see any of these endings anyways.

Posted: Aug 17 2008 10:20 am

Off topic but am I the only one who thinks god1928's sig is kinda spooky? Confused

Joined: Sep 17 2007 Location: The Opium Trail Posts: 3474

So wait, was #8, actually called NARC?

As for Mega Man 6, doesn't it imply in the MM2 intro that Wily was sent to jail after the first game? Regardless I thought Mega Man 6's ending would have been a good way to close out the classic series on NES. But then they had to bring out the substandard MM 7 & 8.

Posted: Aug 17 2008 10:23 pm

NEVER use "Mega Man" and "substandard" in the same breath.