Lately I've looked back on things and realized there may be something very wrong with me. I'm a bit worried I may be starting to develop or may be a paranoid schizophrenic. THose are the kind that just don't trust anyone and always believe someone or something is scheming against them, that anyone you pass that is talking to someone else, is planning to hurt you in some way.

I've been feeling this way every now and again all my life and am noticing it more so now. I will need to look it up because I'm sure there are probably more symptons that may exclude me, but I'm just concerned it is developing, as i don't believe you need to be born with it to have it.

I don't know, I just didn't feel I had anyone I wanted to share it with in my life, but I wanted to get it off my chest, so that's it.

Not in a while, I had some anxiety issues I was seeing one for, but since school ended and I've been doing alright we decided I didn't need to see him until closer to the start of school again, so I don't really have anyone I wish to discuss it with in my home life.

I've also been figuring out that I really like to have power and control. I read true crime a lot and study serial killers, and thru this study, i'm finding certain traits in myself that some of these guys have and it just kind of scares me. Almost all socio/psychopaths are paranoid schizophrenics and i can be terribly cruel sometimes and enjoy doing it but then feel remorse later :S. My moods can be erratic, like I see myself and don't like where i may be headed and just want to be normal and other times i just accept it.

One other thing, I have a pretty bad temper, and when in a group if someone pisses me off I just repress it and over the past year I have snapped a few times after repressing everything, I'm just worried I will snap and really hurt somebody.

EDIT: hopefully you can see thru the ramblings and figure out what i'm saying

Thanks, I think I'm going to see how I feel the next little while. I may have to call the therapist early.

I'm reading up on it and it says:

"People diagnosed with schizophrenia are likely to be diagnosed with comorbid conditions, including clinical depression and anxiety disorders;"

I'm affected by both depression and anxiety, although the depression was thought to be brought on by the anxiety, but it doesn't feel as much the case as it was.

aika wrote:

The best thing you can do is discuss it with a therapist or a psychologist. I was originally going to go in to psychology as my major but I changed my mind at the last minute... because of that I took a bunch of high-legel psych classes, and I can tell you that bottling stuff up is the worst thing you can do at this point. Seriously. Go talk to your therapist dude and he'll give you a launching-off point. If he thinks it's serious enough, he can refer you to a psychologist or even a psychiatrist (who can perscribe medication).

Oh, sorry, it's not a therapist, i have been seeing a psychologist. I'm very interested in psychology as well and have read a good bit about it.

From what I'm reading, I'm not schizophrenic, but it could be developing as it says the peak is late adolescence and young adulthood are the peak for developing it. If i don't talk to anyone right away i should be ok, but will have to remember to talk to him about it when i see him next