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Joined: Aug 24 2005 Location: Mount Holly, NJ Posts: 1062

This article just drives home the point that has been pretty clear for some time now... that we, as a nation, are training our kids to be protected, litigious little bitches that think that nothing ever hurts and everybody always wins.

http://retrocrush.buzznet.com/archive2006/sfoplayground/

It's sort of peripheral to that point... but still part of the problem I think. And totally good for remembering our favorite rusty, dangerous playground equipment.
Personally, my favorite was nothing more than three 20' logs propped up in the shape of a pyramid with notches cut out for room to step. This essentially was made so kids could climb up the side of a pyramid, 20' high. Good times.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

Playgrounds should encourage kids to be active, creative, and physically involved.

It is a good thing to see monkey bars and have kids improving their coordination as they climb up some shit that is high up. Balancing and learning that falling hurts is really important.

Kids themselves are the most dangerous things on the playground, not the equipment... unless it is a bunch of spikes and shit.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 12:33 pm

Besides burning your ass when you go down them, you always have to be wary of people pissing down slides. Especially the curving, enclosed ones. You're riding down, having a great time, you come around a blind corner, BOOM! Right into a half-dried puddle of piss.

GPFontaine wrote:

unless it is a bunch of spikes and shit.

If my brand of playground equipment ever takes off...

Posted: Jul 18 2008 12:56 pm

Black Zarak wrote:

Besides burning your ass when you go down them, you always have to be wary of people pissing down slides. Especially the curving, enclosed ones. You're riding down, having a great time, you come around a blind corner, BOOM! Right into a half-dried puddle of piss.

People actually did that shit? Shocked

Wow. I must've missed out on all that; I was too busy reading in my room to be playing on the slides.

Joined: Jul 16 2006 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 324

The one that sticks out to me is the helmet-mania that is so prevalent today.

When I was a kid, there was NOTHING lamer you could do than wear a bike helmet. Any kid who did was tormented unmercifully by his peers.

Nowadays, you never see a kid without one. Did I miss something? Was there a huge spike in head injuries that suddenly made helmets necessary?

Posted: Jul 18 2008 01:02 pm

Black Zarak wrote:

GPFontaine wrote:

unless it is a bunch of spikes and shit.

If my brand of playground equipment ever takes off...

So you're responsible for this!

Posted: Jul 18 2008 01:07 pm

I work right by a park that has a daycare service. They actually have padding all around the base of their trees, like running into a tree is some sort of deadly hazard. They should be encouraging the children to climb the trees, not to avoid them.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 01:40 pm

It's kind of ridiculous when they won't even put freaking swings into a playground anymore...

Oh, but I don't think they should have those slides that are like closed tubes. One time in fifth grade the entire class was kicked out of the playground because one kid was fingering another in the slide.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

Helmets... holy shit... now I'm getting all sorts of pissed off.

Ok... so the big thing now is that skiers should be wearing helmets?

Back 10 years ago this started to be a big thing and now everyone on the mountain (except me) wears a fucking helmet.

Well FUCK YOU mother fucking helmets.

A ski helmet will save you from a blunt force trauma to the head. Usually this means you fall and hit the ground.

If you hit a tree, your body is going to be crushed, so fucking avoid the trees and don't drink and play with fucking footballs.

Also if you wear a helmet then you will most likely end up injuring your neck when you hit your head.

As you are skiing you will find that you have less mobility for your head and will be less likely to survey the area. You will also find that a helmet will significantly reduce the noise from the mountain. This includes your ability to hear other skiers. Why is this important? Because most likely they will be hitting you if you don't know where they are. Also if you are smart you can hear them go over ice and shit and know where to avoid.

Its also worth noting that hearing well can assist with balance and a general sense of placement.

FUCK SKIING HELMETS!!!

If you are a bad enough skier that you think you need one, then fucking get off the mountain.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 02:39 pm

I miss the old hardcore log playgrounds. They replaced the old fuckers with plastic bitch playgrounds at my elementary school. I remember falling off the metal slide on the first day of school, and I remember getting shitkicked by a kid with Downs Syndrome in 1st grade. He took my head and slammed it against one of those petrified beast logs...My forehead was like twice its regular size and I coulda had a concussion...that can't happen nowadays, what the fuck?

Also, those metal slides...I remember going down one covered in snow and slush during lunch hour...I ended up in the middle of the basketball court, it was spectacular.

AND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU CHOKE YOURSELF ON A SWING?? Other than a few crunched fingers, those things are harmless!! I knew we were in trouble when they started plastic coating the chains on swings.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 03:22 pm

I think safety is good, but I think you can go too far. Bike helmets aren't terrible. I never wore one for that or skateboarding, but I have had friends needed to have parts of scalp reattached, or busted their skull open, gotta love the BMX era of the 80's. I remember when I was in first grade, an all metal play ground, on a sloping hill, on asphalt. So the log playground, and woodchips or mulch was coming out as I was like in 6th grade. What ya gonna do though.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 03:26 pm

ross_rifle113 wrote:

I miss the old hardcore log playgrounds. They replaced the old fuckers with plastic bitch playgrounds at my elementary school. I remember falling off the metal slide on the first day of school, and I remember getting shitkicked by a kid with Downs Syndrome in 1st grade. He took my head and slammed it against one of those petrified beast logs...My forehead was like twice its regular size and I coulda had a concussion...that can't happen nowadays, what the fuck?

Also, those metal slides...I remember going down one covered in snow and slush during lunch hour...I ended up in the middle of the basketball court, it was spectacular.

AND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU CHOKE YOURSELF ON A SWING?? Other than a few crunched fingers, those things are harmless!! I knew we were in trouble when they started plastic coating the chains on swings.

I heard that the log and pipe construction playgrounds we're pulled because the weather treatment on the logs to make em water proof caused cancer, not sure if it's true.

I remember when I was a kid the playgrounds were covered in small pebbles, and the kids delighted in throwing them at each other, who else remembers getting beaned with a handful of pebbles, or having a shit load of those little bastards stuck in your shoes? Laughing

Posted: Jul 18 2008 03:33 pm

FUCK YES.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 04:00 pm

Our park has one of those old rusty metal treehouse things with the big steel pipe in the middle that's hollow and has a ladder inside. And it still has regular motherfucking swings. None of this plastic-coated chain bullshit. Oddly enough, the halfpipe slide is made out of wood with metal plating.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 05:40 pm

Speaking of turning kids into pussies, I was watching an episode of Real Sports where they were showing groups dedicated to ban dodgeball. On top of that, they were against any competitive sports. This was for kids who sucked at sports. I'll admit that it sucks to suck at sports when you are forced to participate. But the idea was to eliminate anything competitive. This also means they don't like shit like Connect Four, or Monopoly, or fucking game shows.

But back to gym class, they think all activities should be ones that just help build your own personal fitness. Competitive people can still turn this into a competition. You can't take this out of society no matter how hard you try. Even kids that suck at sports are probably good at something. And kids who are good at sports may suck at other things. It usually comes out in the wash.

The next thing you know, these assholes will want Wheaties banned because they give kids false hopes of being a winner.

FUCK THESE PEOPLE!!!

Joined: Jul 16 2006 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 324

scamrock wrote:

Speaking of turning kids into pussies, I was watching an episode of Real Sports where they were showing groups dedicated to ban dodgeball. On top of that, they were against any competitive sports. This was for kids who sucked at sports. I'll admit that it sucks to suck at sports when you are forced to participate. But the idea was to eliminate anything competitive. This also means they don't like shit like Connect Four, or Monopoly, or fucking game shows.

But back to gym class, they think all activities should be ones that just help build your own personal fitness. Competitive people can still turn this into a competition. You can't take this out of society no matter how hard you try. Even kids that suck at sports are probably good at something. And kids who are good at sports may suck at other things. It usually comes out in the wash.

The next thing you know, these assholes will want Wheaties banned because they give kids false hopes of being a winner.

FUCK THESE PEOPLE!!!

What about applying for colleges, getting jobs and so on? These are forms of competition as well. How are these douchebags going to get around that?

Posted: Jul 18 2008 06:53 pm

What absolutely drives me up the wall is how lawsuits have turned into the perfect excuse to milk some extra coinage out of the local township while passing on terrible parenting.

If Little Jimmy breaks his arm from jumping off the top of some random playground slide, Mommy and Daddy will take it upon themselves to launch into a full-blown, out-of-proportion suit against Parks'R'Us with the claim that its slides were "too high". Some money-hungry personal injury lawyer will bullshit his way into a settlement because the township can't afford bad publicity and/or tons of wasted taxes. And then kids are left scooting on completely flat planks with maybe four inches of foam padding because of these assholes, thus ruining everyone's childhood forever.

You know, because that story is totally realistic.

If I broke my arm from jumping off the top of the slide, my dad would have just laughed the whole ride to the emergency room, probably calling me a total wimpy dumbass along the way. I would have learned my fucking lesson, and the slides would have been left alone.

Joined: Aug 24 2005 Location: Mount Holly, NJ Posts: 1062

I may have mentioned this in a previous thread, but it bears repeating.

I was a gym teacher at a day camp for K thru 5th graders. During orientation, I was informed that I was unable to create or play games in gym that included 1) a score, or 2) elimination. Therefore, I had to make up games in which nobody could lose and nobody could be eliminated. Soccer, hockey, kickball, dodgeball, tag, whiffle ball, volleyball, nookum (sp?), foot races... all forbidden.

And we wonder why kids have such a ridiculous sense of entitlement. I would too if I never lost anything.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 07:14 pm

So what in the holy hell did you come up with? Did you just make the kids do a bunch of jumping jacks for hours and call it "Let's See If We Can Fly"?

Joined: Aug 24 2005 Location: Mount Holly, NJ Posts: 1062

This stupid game called "Octopus Tag." I don't feel like going into the details, but essentially, once a kid was tagged, he had another role in the game. It was basically a game in which kids just went from one job to the next.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 08:36 pm

Sounds like lots of fun Very Happy

Posted: Jul 18 2008 08:48 pm

Kubo wrote:

I may have mentioned this in a previous thread, but it bears repeating.

I was a gym teacher at a day camp for K thru 5th graders. During orientation, I was informed that I was unable to create or play games in gym that included 1) a score, or 2) elimination. Therefore, I had to make up games in which nobody could lose and nobody could be eliminated. Soccer, hockey, kickball, dodgeball, tag, whiffle ball, volleyball, nookum (sp?), foot races... all forbidden.

And we wonder why kids have such a ridiculous sense of entitlement. I would too if I never lost anything.

Good fucking god. :/

You know what would be awesome? Every now and then I think we should pick up the Japanese practice in schools where everyone's final exam scores are posted publicly for EVERYONE to see. If anything fear of getting laughed at for being a fucking failure will keep everyone from being slackers.

Fuck your kid's self esteem. If your kid's an idiot, I'll call him a fucking idiot. If you're a sucky parent, I'll call you a sucky parent.

Posted: Jul 18 2008 08:56 pm

Slides need to made of unfinished, roughly hewn, splintery wood. Smile

Also keep in mind that

Posted: Jul 18 2008 09:18 pm

Walrus wrote:

If I broke my arm from jumping off the top of the slide, my dad would have just laughed the whole ride to the emergency room, probably calling me a total wimpy dumbass along the way. I would have learned my fucking lesson, and the slides would have been left alone.

Same here, that was the good stuff right there, that was father/son bonding. In my family, we live to ridicule each other for sport and it's worked great for us.

Anyway, fuck safety. How can we evolve if we aren't letting natural selection do it's job? The kids who could climb the tree were the strongest of the herd, the kids that fell off and broke their neck were weaklings who were weeded out in the evolution process.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

My only memory on the playgrounds was wondering aimless around the maze of terror and . . . hitting on the babes. I was some ladies man back then because all the ladies wanted me . . . to eat dirt. i remember those good old wooden playgrounds, good times.