I was department manager at Walmart. I could tell you a million stories about stupid ass customers. Here is one of my favorites.

I worked in a real small division 1 store (that means its not a supercenter). We didn't have a portrait studio. Every now and then people would come in and set up their camera and backdrop stuff in the store. Those of you who have lived with a non-Supercenter Walmart probably know what I'm talking about. This lady comes in with her kids. She is a real bitch from the get go and she isn't even pissed yet. She comes up to me and asks where she needs to go to get the pictures taken with the new Spiderman backdrop and shit. I didn't know anything about it and the picture people weren't there that day. So I go with the bitch up to the service desk to find out what's the deal.

I asked them if they knew anything about it. They said that wasn't going to be until next week. This stupid bitch goes into a blind rage and pretty much yells as loud as she can. "Then you need to change THAT damn sign because THAT damn sign says its TODAY!!!" So I step over and look at the sign. The dates on that damn sign were the fucking dates for next week! I look at it for a second. I look at my watch with the date on it. I look at her. I look at my watch. I look at the sign. I look at her. I look at my watch. I look at her.

So I dropped the news on her that that was next week, not today. "So you are telling me that today isn't the XXth?" Then you can see it set in that she feels like a big jackass. But instead of saying she was sorry for the outburst and being a complete bitchface, she says some bullshit about how it was still misleading and that the dates needed to be in bigger print so it wouldn't be so confusing. What the fuck is so confusing about it? There is nothing confusing about today's date unless you are using a fiscal calendar. It didn't need to be in a larger print on the sign. Even if it did, it had nothing at all to do with why this fucking idiot was confused.

My wife works for Walmart doing asset protection (loss prevention) and used to work at the service desk. So she probably has a lot more stories than I do. This is one of the thigs she hates the most.

You can return movies, games, etc, if it is unopened, for a full refund. If its open, it can only be exchanged for the exact same thing. This isn't a Walmart rule. Its a government rule. Its the law, just like selling beer to minors. Its against the law. If she violates this, the store could be fined, she could be fined as well as lose her job. Now sometimes, if a customer pushes enough, management will say to go ahead and do the return. Now that she is asset protection, she doesn't allow this in her store. If she finds out that somebody approved a return, she chews ass.

But people either seem to not understand or not care that she could lose her job and personally get fined by the government. She just cannot understand how after telling somebody this, that they would still not understand why she won't do the return. "I know you could lose your job and get fined, but can you do it anyways?"

I'm not saying wether the rule is bullshit or not. I don't care one way or another. But people seem to think that Walmart is just doing it to be dicks, when it has nothing to do with them at all. I will say there is a bunch of stupid stuff like having to be 18 to buy white out or other stupid shit like that. But that's besides the point. The point is, if people don't like it, they should call home office if its just Walmart policy, or write their congressmen if its a law. They should not expect somebody who is relying on their income to get by to risk their job violating a policy just because somebody thinks its bullshit.

I'll ask her about it. I would think you would be able to tell. I used to work at a video store. When we would sell used movies, we would shrink wrap them. I thought it was pretty easy to tell the difference between factory sealed and what we did.

But then again, there are probably people that would take back anything. Somebody at my store accepted a return on a bike. It was covered in mud, the rim was bent, the chain guard was missing completely, and the grips on the handlebars were torn to hell. About a week later, the same people brought in another bike just as beat up. This time our assembler was working. He is a crazy old bastard. They called him up to look at it before the return. I should probably tell you that if he wasn't there, they most likely would have taken it back (this is people taking it back on their own, not management doing it). He ripped their ass and told them our return policy doesn't cover wear and tear. They actually tried to tell him they bought it in that condition. Well, he put the fucking thing together, so he knew better. I can't figure out how the people at the service desk were so fucking stupid.

Douche McCallister wrote:

Additionally: What's stopping someone from returning an opened game for a replacement and then just bringing back the unopened one they got for a Gift Card?

If you exchange an opened game, they are supposed to open the new game during the exchange for this specific reason. I doubt they always do. Service desk people aren't always the brightest. But this is what they are supposed to do.

I also asked her about the shrink wrap. She said that most of the games and movies are in factory sealed plastic. Usually only some of the cheap DVDs (like the John Wayne 20 movie collection for $5.50) are shrink wrapped.

This last Christmas Eve, I was waiting in the parking lot for my wife to get off work (the store closes at 6 on that day) so we could drive to Missouri. Of course even though they were shutting down, people were pulling up at 6 pm on Christmas Eve to do some shopping. Its funny because if you stick around any time a store closes early on a holliday, you can see people go up to the door, try to open it, READ THE SIGN THAT SAYS CLOSING EARLY!, peek in through the windows, then check the door again, as if they weren't really closed and its just a big joke on them.

Anyhow, I'm sitting in the car waiting. Some of the management team was standing at the front doors letting people know when they'd come up to the building. I've got the windows down so I can listen to people bitch. This crazy bitch pulls up right next to me in a pickup truck with her 'old man'. You could tell at first glance that they weren't exactly the crim de la crim of our community. But they did fit in rather well with the rest of the smelly, greasy, cattle russlin', tobaco chewin', rotten tooth rednecks that usually make a scene in a situation like this. So I was all ears.

They were loud as soon as they got out of the truck. You know, the kind that like to curse loud in public as if they believed it was socially acceptable. They immediately see other people getting turned away at the door. So they holler at a cart pusher and have a conversation similar to this.

"Hey are you guys closed?"
"Yeah."
"No you're not. Really?"
"Yeah, we closed at six." (note that by now its around 7pm and they are still trying to get everyone out of the store)
"You're kidding right? You're not really closed."
"Yeah we are."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"You're closed."
"Yes."
"And you're not joking around."
"No. We really are closed."
"You're serious."
"Yes."

At this point, I'm just trying to figure out if they think he is going to suddenly announce that he was kidding all along and invite them right on in.

"Well I can't believe you're closed on Christmas Eve."

So now they finally stop talking to the cart pusher, but I can see by the look in this bitches face that she isn't satisfied with this answer. So instead of listening to the kid, as if he were lying, or just didn't know what he was talking about, they start for the enterance anyways. I see her talking to the store manager at the front door. I can see she is talking loud and possibly arguing with him by how animated she was while talking. So they start back out to the truck. Of course they start running their mouths while they walk away. Cursing loudly and expressing how stupid it is to close early on Christmas Eve. When they get in the truck, this bitch slams the door, fires up the engine, and nails the gas. Her 'old man' was barely in the car when she took off. She squeels the tires as she peels out and takes off flying across the parking lot (still filled with cars and people).

Now I know I have a bad habit of waiting until the last minute. But I know that places close early on Christmas Eve. I have no problem with this. They deserve to be with their families just like everyone else. So I know if I fuck up and don't get my shopping done, its my own fault. Not the store's fault for closing early. But I'm glad there are dumbass people like this, because she made my night.