APPLE MESSIAH, Steve Jobs has been named in a court case which alleges he hired OJ Simpson as a hit man. Jobs is also charged with exhibiting prejudice toward political prisoners by slashing Iphone prices, and cloning Dolly the sheep in 1998. The charges were filed in South Carolina and while they are fairly bogus, they are 'real' in the sense that the court has to deal with them.

The man making the charges is 30-year-old Jonathan Lee Riches who is currently behind bars with nothing better to do. He does not need to a lawyer to make his complaints he has been filing away like a mad thing. Apple Insider has a copy of the charges which are in Riches' best handwriting. In the brief he claims that his life is in danger from Jobs who has hired OJ to kill him - once he gets out of prison - for stealing some cards with OJ's image on them.

Of course, US District Judge, Gregory Presnell, has dismissed the charges saying that the charge sheet reads like a cross between Billy Joel’s 'We Didn’t Start the Fire' and a Dr. Bronner’s soap label - if Dr. Bronner had been a first-year law student with untreated paranoid schizophrenia.
The judge was not sure if Riches was bonkers or had a hobby akin to short story writing. All complaints filed with the US court system have to be processed, filed and dismissed.

Rather than sentence Riches to do more porridge for wasting court time, the judge decided that he will have to pay the filing fee with any future complaints.