SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic - What's The Best "Bad" Movie You've Ever Seen?

Posted: Sep 15 2007 03:46 am

For me, it has to be the wonderfully horrible "Fantasy Mission Force".

A hong-kong movie set in World War II, The Japanese capture four Allied Generals (including General Abraham Lincoln). Lieutenant Don Wen is called in to organize a rescue effort because James Bond is busy, Snake Plissken is missing, and Rocky Balboa is not a military agent.

With promises of a huge reward, Don Wen rounds up a group of misfits for the job, which includes two kilt-wearing soldiers, a hobo , a supposed escape artist con artist Billy, and the femme fatale Lily. En route to the Japanese base where the kidnapped Generals are being held, the group encounters two small time crooks, Emily and Sammy (Jackie Chan), who follow them in hope that they will lead them to a cache of money.

Along the way they encounter an Amazon tribe, and sword and axe-brandishing Chinese Nazis riding in 1970s-era muscle cars.

Posted: Sep 15 2007 05:14 am

Revenge of the Ninja.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

Best "Bad" Movie i've ever seen? Well . . . it would have to be . . . *shudder*

Hangmen

A movie so bad that i vented my angry towards it on IMDb, so i will let my rant speak for itself:

Quote:

I walked into Blockbuster, itchin' to watch some good old fashion action movies. So i browsed around the action section until this movie caught my attention because the cover had in big bold letter SANDRA BULLOCK. An action movie with Sandra Bullock in it and it's rated R!? YAY! Although I will admit i prefer her in a comedy but if this is anything like 'Speed' then i was sold. Sadly Sandra really is not in this movie, her role is minor: "Panicky kidnapped girlfriend" (She is in fifth place on the actors listing for Jeebus shakes!) Apparently this was her first movie role (and after watching this movie, i figured as much) Sandra is the only living human in this movie, everyone else might as well be a Zombie in a B-Horror Flick. This movie deceived me saying Sandra was the lead . . . i fell for it like Biff from 'Back to the Future' when Marty yells "WHAT'S THAT . . .!!!" God, i wish i watched that instead of this.

Sandra is the only bright side of this movie, every time she is on camera it is like she is picking up shock paddles and yelling "CLEAR!" to get this movies going but it flat lines no matter how hard she tries. More on Sandra later . . .

The Movie is dull. Very Dull. Think of the Dullest moment in your life then imagine living through that moment for 110 minutes (for me, it is this movie). This movie even somehow makes Gun Fights and Bullet time effects boring, so boring that Elephant Tranquilizers are put to shame. And this movie's idea of Bullet Time is a close up of an AK in slow motion which mocks you as the caps spitting out of it represent each second of your life as it slowly ticks away. And I knew i was watching a bad movie because i found myself fast forwarding "THROUGH-THE-ACTION!" The plot? . . . there was a plot? Music? . . . even by 80s muck standards is Bad but at least it's the one thing that kept me awake. Acting? Sandra Bullock was good and . . . ummm . . . moving on. Is it any good since it IS rated R? No, unless R stands for Ridicules-snooze-fest.

And it is really 80s Cliché when a movie opens with an overhead view of a city (rocking guitar licks or power ballet) and ends with a gun fight in a grim factory complete with steel walkways and assorted pipes. Both of which this movie satisfies. At least this movie establishes what era it's from which was unnecessary since Sandra's hair was screaming "1980s!!!!" And a movie gets really ham fisted when you watch an assassin stripper kill a nerd in the bathroom and stuff his body in a box, which you respond to sadly saying: "that is probably the most action that poor sap ever got." Another Hammy moment is at the beginning when some-Secret-Agent-Dude caps a crowd of people and apparently this movie thinks people jump into the air and fall to the ground when they die. All that scene needed was the Mario death ditty or maybe Contra sound effects but Nintendo might have sued.

And it is sad when the main action hero of this movie rips off other BETTER movie icons. Before the big gun scene, Da hero is found standing in a boxing ring ('Rocky' anyone?), sporting a leather fedora (not 'Indiana Jones' too) with an ominous spotlights behind him (Terminator the 2nd before owning T-1000) What is really REALLY sad is that people on Youtube or Dailymotion can film better quality videos (with a crappy webcam no less) then this movie. I'm serious, most Rant videos recorded with bad audio and blurry picture are more entertaining then this movie. I cannot even call this movie by it's given name for it's very name bring back horrid memories of watching this cruel and unusual punishment (a freaking violation against human rights!) The only bright speck in this dark abysmal abyss is Sandra's career started taking off thanks to this movie. But oh Sandra . . . why did you have to be in such a nightmare? The paycheck better been worth it. The DVD also graces you with a little back story on Sandra as an extra, seen how she is the only one from this movie who end up being a house hold name. Which explains why this movie uses her name as bait for unsuspecting movie buffs, Crafty little critter.

I don't have much experience with bad films but i know BAD when i see it. I could bounce back from 'Mazes and Monsters' with a good old campy Bruce Willis Comedy. But not even Bruce could cheer me up after this movie. I have yet to see any Ed Wood or Uwe Boll but I think I'm amped for them now. For i can't even fathom a movie worse then . . . "GAG" . . . 'Hangmen' . . .

After watching some MST3k, i have found films that have proven to be more painful then Hangmen but without the MST gang to riff the shitstorm, Hangmen will remain the worst movie i ever saw.

Joined: Feb 24 2006 Posts: 2578

Currently, the Ninja Death trilogy. It's like the Star Wars of Chinese martial arts flicks, with absurd amounts of gratuitous sex and violence.

Posted: Sep 15 2007 12:31 pm

Evil Ed.

It's a Swedish horror film about a film editor named Edward who is forced to edit horror films after the editor assigned to the job kills himself. Ed slowly goes insane, eventually becomes violent, kills some people, and it sent to an asylum. You might think the movie ends there, but it doesn't. Instead, Ed breaks out of his cell and begins killing people at the asylum as well. Also, he's somehow transformed from "ordinary guy whose job drove him insane" to "unstoppable demonic killing machine" without any real explanation. First the police are called in to deal with him, then, when they fail, the military.

It's hilarious, violent, and just all around awesomely bad.

Joined: Apr 14 2006 Location: Lake Michigan Posts: 3332

Jack Frost, with the killer snowman, and a young Shannon Elizabeth.

Posted: Sep 15 2007 03:15 pm

Spiceworld.

Posted: Sep 15 2007 03:48 pm

House of the Dead. That entire movie was just lol.

Joined: May 23 2007 Location: CA Posts: 192

Doomed, a movie about gameshow in the year 2020 in which they kidnap you and send you to an island full of zombies.

Posted: Sep 15 2007 05:44 pm

DarkMaze wrote:

Currently, the Ninja Death trilogy. It's like the Star Wars of Chinese martial arts flicks, with absurd amounts of gratuitous sex and violence.

You're stalking me aren't you? We just watched "Ninja Death II" and "Ninja Death III" last Saturday for "Bad Movie Night". Razz

Don't you think it's really just one movie the US cut up into three films?

Posted: Sep 15 2007 07:25 pm

I think it was called "Slave to the Cannibal God." Shit, that was terrible.

Posted: Sep 15 2007 07:28 pm

They have a used copy of that at my local comic store. I'm always tempted by it, too. You know a movie's going to be cheesetastic when the back of the box has nudity on it; most movies try to keep the boxes tasteful so that major retailers will carry them.

Joined: Feb 24 2006 Posts: 2578

Tebor wrote:

DarkMaze wrote:

Currently, the Ninja Death trilogy. It's like the Star Wars of Chinese martial arts flicks, with absurd amounts of gratuitous sex and violence.

You're stalking me aren't you? We just watched "Ninja Death II" and "Ninja Death III" last Saturday for "Bad Movie Night". Razz

Don't you think it's really just one movie the US cut up into three films?

HAHAHA that's awesome! Very Happy

I couldn't figure out if it was one movie or actually three. The abrupt endings do make it seem like just one, but if it was, good lord it'd be long. The best part about it being three, though, is that it's an excuse to watch the opening sequence three times. DAMN it's amazing. But my favorite thing is that in the middle of the first one, it changed dubbing companies and everyone's suddenly British!! Laughing

Posted: Sep 15 2007 07:33 pm

Oh shit, I remember seeing this fucked up Japanese movie about Vampire Zombies or something. It was like being on drugs the whole time. If only I knew the name I could look it up and tell you more.

Posted: Sep 15 2007 07:38 pm

BTW MOGHARR, you have control of the movie quote thread.

Posted: Sep 16 2007 09:52 pm

From the same people who brought you Traces of Death (I think Confused

)

Terror Toons
Animated to kill!

In a quiet suburban neighborhood, two sisters are about to experience the dark and sinister world of Terror Toons. Candy and Cindy's parents have traveled out of town for the weekend leaving the two sisters home alone. Candy receives a mysterious package in the mail with a free DVD cartoon sent to her by the Devil himself. Cindy is having a house party with some friends while Candy views the cartoon in her room. Sheunintentionally lets loose two homicidal cartoon characters, Dr. Carnage and Max Assassin. They are out of the cartoon dimension and into the world as we know it. The feindish characters stalk, torment and kill the partygoers in wild and kooky cartoon traditions.

Produced: 2005

Director: Joe Castro

Cast: Lizzie Borden, Beverly lynn, Fernando Padilla

Genre: Horror

Running Time: 90 Min

Rating: R

Wathcing this movie made permamently lose 20 points intelligence and charisma. Sad

Posted: Sep 16 2007 10:16 pm

Oh, joy. It's the Ring, but gayer. I thought that was impossible. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sep 16 2007 11:39 pm

That sounds way better than The Ring. Plus, unlike The Ring, I bet it doesn't have a fucking gayass retarded ending where the main characters look into the camera and address the audience.