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Posted: Dec 18 2014 11:29 am

Saw it yesterday.

Legolas looks like a fucking alien. It was quite unsettling.

Also, [SPOILER:55fb489eb6]Saruman kicks some major fucking ass fighting the wraiths! I know they used a double or CGI, but Christopher Lee wrecking shit was just awesome.[/SPOILER:55fb489eb6]

Anyone else see this movie?

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

I thought the first was merely good while the second was a fucking chore to watch. I know people give the Star Wars prequels shit for CGI but GOOD LORD these movies aren't even a pleasure to look at. It's like watching a friend play a video game, with everything so shiny and perfect. I'm just not a fan, and probably won't see this one till whenever it's on Netflix/Prime.

Posted: Dec 18 2014 06:11 pm

I agree with the CGI making it too much like a video game. There were certain shots in the movie that seemed like they were taken right out of a fantasy video game.

Posted: Dec 18 2014 08:16 pm

The Hobbit movies are awesome, and I've always been a fan of CGI in movies, because I love seeing it in video games.

Posted: Dec 19 2014 03:24 am

I wonder if I'm not the only one to wonder when QTE buttom prompts would appear during the Legolas/tower sequence.

It was an alright film whose ending didn't bother me like the 2nd film did. Also nice to see Galadriel get a decent sequence with some wonderful special effects.

Back during the filming of the original trilogy, Peter Jackson was describing what he wanted for the scene where Christopher Lee gets stabbed. Lee disagreed with the direction by telling him
"Peter, when I was killing Nazis in WWII, that was not the sound that those men made."
PJ: "...Well then make that noise instead."

Posted: Dec 19 2014 11:40 am

Christopher Lee is a living legend.

And I agree, it was nice that Galadriel had a part and I thought it was great.

Joined: Apr 14 2006 Location: Lake Michigan Posts: 3332

The Hobbit story and I have a weird history. The cartoon movie creeped me out as a kid because of the way Bilbo was drawn, so I automatically hated it. Had to force myself to watch Jackson's LOTR trilogy when I heard it was so good. Liked it, but didn't love it. Would have tried seeing Jackson's Hobbit if he didn't stretch it into three movies.

Posted: Dec 21 2014 12:24 am

I really had problems with the Hobbit movies as a whole since they introduced so many things to force its connection to LotR, when The Hobbit was really a surprisingly small event on the whole. Primarily the whole pale Orc dude they introduced so there was some conflict for Thorin when the entire point of The Hobbit is Bilbo's character and his growth. I mean, there's other minor niggles like the ORIGINAL CHARACTER, DO NOT STEAL lady elf, and the entire Gandalf going off to do the whole Necromancer plot, but the Pale Orc was really my primary issue with it. They cut those things out along with some other things and they could've made it 2 movies.

Joined: Aug 04 2009 Posts: 2515

Yes I saw it.

[SPOILER:ffab5c312c] It was pretty mediocre. Brace for the sacrilege of me calling Tolkien a fucking hack when the fucking eagles flew in at the end. I was going fucking boogaloo in the cinema. I do imagine this did not happen in the book. Just seemed like a fuck you from Peter Jackson after everyone was like "why did the eagles not fly Frodo and Sam to Mordor". Though arguably we could pose this question from the end of the first Hobbit film were the eagles dropped the party off after that tree collapsing off the mountain scene not at the fucking Misty Mountain. Nothing really happened in the film to be honest. Dragon melted the town and died in the first like 10 minutes and then the rest of it was dicking about and King Dwarf being edgy, like 2 hours of battle.[/SPOILER:ffab5c312c]

Posted: Dec 27 2014 04:55 pm

I enjoyed the ride and am glad to finally have that splinter out of my mind after 13 years. One issue, though: What and where, exactly, was the fifth army explicitly promised by the subtitle?

Joined: Aug 05 2008 Location: CA Posts: 867

Two armies of orcs, dwarves, elves and Laketown.

Posted: Dec 27 2014 05:52 pm

I liked the movie. [SPOILER:c4e8767ae9]I was saddened that they ended the plot of the entire series at the very beginning of the movie, but enjoyed how the entire movie was a giant fantasy war between different races,[/SPOILER:c4e8767ae9]

I'm pretty sure the dragon was the fifth race.

Posted: Dec 27 2014 08:11 pm

Seriously guys? Have you never read the book?

[SPOILER:6df948016b]The movie does completely ignore it, but the fifth army is the eagles. In the books, they're intelligent and can talk and have their own kingdom of sorts. The movies have always ignored this though and treat them as deus ex machina to tie up loose plot points.

As far as the movie on the whole goes, I was not impressed. I have not actually seen the second one, but The Hobbit movies feel like the makers know they're not as good as the LOTR movies and they just try to cover the crappiness with with more flash. So much of this movie was stupid or unnecessary. Legolas has no reason to be in this, at all. His "running" up the collapsing tower rubble was fucking terrible. The fight against the Nazgul (and the fact that each one looks vastly different and far more stupid than their LOTR versions) was pointless. All the orcs look so fake and similar, there were several times I swore the orc that just died was now up again fighting someone else. Pretty much everything looks fake unless it absolutely had to be a physical prop to work. The trolls especially look horrible. When are there ever giant Graboids mentioned anywhere in Tolkien? Trying to make Thorin's dragon fever look and sound like Gollum's reaction to the ring was stupid. The pool of molten gold he hallucinates sinking in was terrible CGI. The guy who plays Bard looks like he was chosen for the role to answer the question of "How can we have more Orlando Bloom in this movie when Orlando Bloom is already in this movie?" BILBO DOWNS AT LEAST THREE ORCS BY THROWING A FUCKING ROCK AT THEM!

Maybe it's just because they came out when I was in college and sparked a whole Tolkien revival in me at the time, but I think the LOTR movies are vastly superior to this crappy trilogy. The characters, the plot, the effects, even the music is so much weaker than the original movies and it makes me not care about these at all. I know Peter Jackson really didn't care to do these and then did anyways and it shows man.[/SPOILER:6df948016b]

Joined: Aug 05 2008 Location: CA Posts: 867

Yes I have read the book. Still, the fifth army was more orcs. =)

Warg!

Posted: Dec 27 2014 08:52 pm

I don't get how people get so miserable over a movie.

Joined: Aug 05 2008 Location: CA Posts: 867

This is the internet Deku. Pointless arguments are what makes it fun. Maybe you are the one taking this too seriously?

=)

Posted: Dec 27 2014 10:20 pm

I know the LOTR wiki is probably not the best source but from the Battle of Five Armies entry...

"As the battle was turning fully against the Free Folk, a number of Giant Eagles of the Misty Mountains arrived (the fifth army), led by the Great Eagle."

There isn't a second orc army, Azog was dead by that time, it's just Bolg seeking revenge for Gandalf killing the Great Goblin.

Joined: Aug 05 2008 Location: CA Posts: 867

I 100% agree with you with everything you have said about the movie Black Zarak, it is shit.

However I still stand by my point. The fifth army are orcs. It is open to interpretation and trust me I can use the googles also. Fact is the Hobbit should have not been three movies it should have been one. As a matter of fact it should have never happened. Jackson raped this story and again I have read the books.

However it was directed by Jackson and he added a bunch of shit to the movie that never happened. Watch the movie again for that terrible plot twist considering "the Ambush". It was his choice to subtitle the movie and a terrible one but what happened at the end of the movie and was mentioned at least three times? Orcs.

Blame the Tolkien's progeny. The entire idea of this trilogy was made for one reason; to make money and fuck, watch it again if you want to torture yourself.

Jackson used orcs as two of the five armies, not the Eagles and not the wargs where was that in the books? Both could be considered canonical but what does that matter to Jackson?

Are we talking about the books or the movies?

It's pretty much certain that Jackson made those orcs the fifth army....

Posted: Dec 27 2014 11:00 pm

Alright good point, we have to make that distinction. I guess I'm saying the fifth army SHOULD be the eagles, but it's not in this terrible movie.

Joined: Aug 05 2008 Location: CA Posts: 867

Okay we agree. This movie is horrible!

Also happy holidays!

Posted: Dec 28 2014 09:32 am

I don't care if the movie was horrible or not, because Christopher Lee kicked ass.

Posted: Dec 31 2014 02:17 am

Just saw it. It really does feel like Jackson phoned this trilogy in, but I enjoyed them. I am not a reader of Tolkien, so to me, LOTR was almost a little too complicated (especially upon first viewing, I get them all now after repeated viewings). This trilogy was an easier movie-going experience. With that said, I don't agree that any adaptation should be more enjoyable for the casual viewer than a die hard fan. That's not right. So they were enjoyable popcorn fluff, which is unfortunate given the source material.

Posted: Dec 31 2014 04:17 am

Yeah...I gave up after the first movie. It was good, but it felt too stretched out to me. I'm a huge fan of the book, and additionally had the distinct honor of playing Bofur in the musical when I was a wee little Lexia. My most notable lines were, when they find the elven blades "What's special about them?" and in Mirkwood I believe, "CARRY BOMBUR?" Such an awful show, but still more accurate than the film. AND we had a dragon that breathed actual fire. 10/10.

In terms of those around me who are bigger Tolkien nuts than I: My roommate was really enthused about seeing the movie because she at least sorta enjoyed the first two and I've gotta say the look of joy on her face as she told me how terrible the movie was inspired a lot of awe in me. I can't be fucked to sit on my butt for over 2 hours if the movie isn't going to be quality.

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

krislexia wrote:

AND we had a dragon that breathed actual fire. 10/10.

That's hot.

Posted: Dec 31 2014 05:13 pm

So are we saying the Hobbit movies are basically the Star Wars prequels part two? Because I agree with that, insofar as their mere existence allows me to fully enjoy the original trilogy, quality (or lack thereof) notwithstanding.