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Posted: Jun 15 2013 01:31 am

http://www.sydlexia.com/abadox.htm

I've heard a lot about this game for some reason in the last three years.

But maybe it's the year-long delay, but a lot of the jokes feel shoehorned in and only tangential at best to the game being reviewed.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 04:44 am

I was inspired to scribble a thrash metal style Abadox logo on some of my paperwork, but then I had to get back to work, so it looks pretty halfassed. I might try to make a better one when I'm not busy.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 06:23 am

typo:

Quote:

Abadox takes in the year 5012, because why not?

should be Abadox takes place in the year 5012, because why not?

also, image http://www.sydlexia.com/imagesandstuff/abadox/Abadox1081.png is broken.

its right after talking about the level 5 minibosses.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 06:29 am

Fixed and fixed.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 07:24 am

Great article Syd! Keep em coming.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 07:32 am

i dug the article.

also, was this article supposed to replace one of the locked articles? or are those still a work in progress?

Posted: Jun 15 2013 07:44 am

Those are still a work in progress. It did replace Hitler though.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 12:58 pm

Hold on, new article? For some reason, It wasn't on the front page when I checked. Well, I'm gonna check it out.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 01:14 pm

The article was fucking awesome!!! And the 14th was my birthday nonetheless! Gee, thanks Syd! I guess Syd has an 'eye' for details. Heh

Posted: Jun 15 2013 01:26 pm

Great Article, Syd! It was well worth the wait. One thing, in the last paragraph, it says "it's completely uncharacteristic of the sort of stuff Nintendo of America was usually want to approve for the NES."

Posted: Jun 15 2013 01:54 pm

Quote:

An entire fleet of ships failed to stop Parasitis, do you:

Quote:

A) Jettison from your ship and attack a giant planet monster with nothing but a jetpack and a dinky little laser gun.

Quote:

While our Contra experience dictates that the spread shot is always the best weapon, the spread shot seems to be fairly underpowered in this game.

Quote:

He jumps and he shoots diamonds.

Quote:

What, you didn't know planets had mouths?

Quote:

Mouths filled with sharp teeth and off-brand Cheep Cheeps.

Quote:

Along with the perspective change, we have new enemies.

Quote:

In fact, what the fuck they're even supposed to be is beyond me.

Quote:

No, the best part of this level is that blood-soaked arms emerge from the walls and try and grab you.

Quote:

One scale of 1 to JESUS CHRIST MAKE IT STOP, this thing is slightly more horrifying than the first level's boss.

Quote:

How are we supposed to remember that if we're not showing exciting futuristic technology that's so fucking advanced, we can't even begin to speculate on its precise functionality?

Quote:

Our feeble modern brains, lacking nearly three thousand years of evolution, can't possibly comprehend such things.

Quote:

Oftentimes, you will find yourself in a situation where all you can do is choose *how* you die: death by bullet, death by wall collision, or death by enemy collision.

Quote:

Yes, you get an upgradeable shield that helps deflect bullets, and there's an invincibility power-up that protects you from a few direct bullets, but they both dissipate quickly in sticky situations.

Quote:

It fires the diamonds at you and flails lobster claws in your general direction.

Quote:

Oh snap, take that, guys who aren't me.

Quote:

I totally found the clitoris, and I did it the same way I beat the original Metroid: trial and error, and lots of hand-drawn maps.

Oh, how I missed doing this. I also miss screenshot captions, but whatever.

And Syd, I may have said this before, but there was no need to get rid of the Hitler list. Those placeholders, on the other hand...

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Jun 15 2013 02:07 pm

FunFact - originally, that lady you saved at the end was nekkid.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 02:20 pm

Blackout wrote:

I was inspired to scribble a thrash metal style Abadox logo on some of my paperwork, but then I had to get back to work, so it looks pretty halfassed. I might try to make a better one when I'm not busy.

I'll add it tonight!

Posted: Jun 15 2013 03:03 pm

Logan wrote:

Great Article, Syd! It was well worth the wait. One thing, in the last paragraph, it says "it's completely uncharacteristic of the sort of stuff Nintendo of America was usually want to approve for the NES."

It should say something like "it's completely uncharacteristic of what Nintendo of America usually wanted to approve for the NES."

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

The print ad for the game used to run in Archie Comics and I remember parents complaining it was too gross or graphic. It sure creeped me out as a kid.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 04:08 pm

Logan wrote:

Great Article, Syd! It was well worth the wait. One thing, in the last paragraph, it says "it's completely uncharacteristic of the sort of stuff Nintendo of America was usually want to approve for the NES."

It should say something like "it's completely uncharacteristic of what Nintendo of America usually wanted to approve for the NES."

unless he meant WONT instead of WANT

Posted: Jun 15 2013 05:36 pm

Yeah, I meant wont. I'm glad you guys liked this. It's been well, a year, since I successfully wrote anything start to finish and I wasn't sure if I could still do it and have it be enjoyable.

Posted: Jun 15 2013 07:42 pm

I wanted the letters closer together, like this, but I can't seem to decide if I should leave the interiors of the letters blank, or what.

What do y'all think?

Posted: Jun 16 2013 07:24 am

I can't decide either. I think I could decide better if you added the holes so I could see it with and without.

Posted: Jun 16 2013 07:30 am

Its really hard to read it this way.

Posted: Jun 16 2013 12:01 pm

While it's nice that we finally got a new article, we still never got the sequel to the 15 Bullshit NES Game Endings. Next month, it will be three years overdue.

Posted: Jun 16 2013 12:21 pm

I think I have a preliminary outline for that somewhere. Unless I deleted it.

We'll see. I find of I don't seize upon an idea when it's new in my mind, finishing it becomes a chore.

Posted: Jun 16 2013 12:36 pm

Then I guess now would also be a bad time to ask about Happy Meal Prizes, Round 2.

Posted: Jun 16 2013 05:35 pm

I would actually love to do another Happy Meal article. Playing with old school toys is always fun. Maybe I will.

Posted: Jun 16 2013 08:50 pm

I would also love to see more bullshit endings on the NES. But really, I would be happy with anything.