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Joined: Apr 14 2006 Location: Lake Michigan Posts: 3332

Looks like a chainsaw wins:

Quote:

In a bloody battle between two warring neighbours in Australia today, one man's arm was almost severed with a chain saw, while another had a finger chopped off with a Samurai sword.

Surgeons were later trying to save the arm of the chain saw victim, Mark Jorgenson, 29, while his neighbor Troy Thornton, 26, was being treated after losing his finger to the Samurai sword.

Police who rushed to the small town of Minto, south west of Sydney, found pools of blood in the street and Mr Jorgenson crying in pain from his almost-severed arm.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2138259/Neighbours-war-Bloody-chainsaw-battle-sees-mans-arm-severed--anothers-finger-chopped-SAMURAI-sword.html

Posted: May 02 2012 11:09 am

I would say Thornton wins for not crying when the police showed up.

Posted: May 02 2012 11:21 am

I remember the good old days when two people would fistfight and the only time someone used a weapon was when they were dwarfed by the person they were fighting.

This shit sounds like something out of a Final Fight game.

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: May 02 2012 11:46 am

I want someone to draw this.

My favorite line is he grabbed the chainsaw in self defense.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

The guy with the sword clearly didn't know how to use it.

Given the choice of those two weapons against each other, I would gladly take the sword.

Posted: May 02 2012 03:35 pm

I approve of people attacking each other with chainsaws and swords. We need more of that in this world.

Joined: Aug 04 2009 Posts: 2515

Damn right chainsaw wins!

Also - Daily Mail.

Fuck no.

Posted: May 03 2012 01:13 pm

Go banana!

Posted: May 03 2012 08:03 pm

Yeah man if you gave me a katana and had me face a guy with a chainsaw, I'd be hacking like crazy at him while he was still trying to crank it, this guy clearly doesn't know how to fight.

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

Unless someone was extremely proficient with a katana, you'd be a retard to come at someone with a chainsaw, regardless. All the weird nerds who masturbate about swords that I know would probably cut their own face off with a katana.

Posted: May 03 2012 09:22 pm

But it's a hell of a lot quicker than trying to get a chainsaw running. And who made you swordmaster? I see no heron mark on your blade!

Wizard Joined: Jun 12 2009 Posts: 4209

Anyone who's proficient in anything is going to be better at fighting with it than these two morons.

Joined: Aug 28 2011 Posts: 537

This is on God's TiVo for sure.

Joined: Apr 14 2006 Location: Lake Michigan Posts: 3332

UsaSatsui wrote:

I want someone to draw this.

It really demands some sort of artist's depiction for the article. Someone needs to step up.

Posted: May 04 2012 09:05 pm

Damn. Assuming neither guy is a swordmaster or combat lumberjack, I don't think either party is walking away from a fight like that without losing a significant amount of blood.

The sword can strike faster, but you'd still have to get pretty damn close. If the guy already has the chainsaw revved, I doubt you'd be able to cut him and move away before he could sink it halfway through your torso.

Posted: May 04 2012 09:15 pm

I would think the weight of a chainsaw would give an advantage to the person wielding the katana, as they should be able to move faster and should have no problem maneuvering around the chainsaw wielder.

I just read the story again and realized that the people involved are Australian. No wonder why they thought this type of fight was a good idea.

Posted: May 06 2012 05:25 pm

Man that must have been some disagreement!

Posted: May 06 2012 07:11 pm

Blackout wrote:

Man that must have been some disagreement!

Probably an argument about Slasher movies.

Posted: May 06 2012 07:35 pm

Ice2SeeYou wrote:

Damn. Assuming neither guy is a swordmaster or combat lumberjack, I don't think either party is walking away from a fight like that without losing a significant amount of blood.

If I ever start playing Dungeons & Dragons or such, I've figured out my class.

Posted: May 07 2012 03:49 am

Black Zarak wrote:

But it's a hell of a lot quicker than trying to get a chainsaw running. And who made you swordmaster? I see no heron mark on your blade!

heh. nice reference.

Joined: Jun 08 2010 Location: Termina Field Posts: 1541

@om*d wrote:

I just read the story again and realized that the people involved are Australian. No wonder why they thought this type of fight was a good idea.

How so?

Then again, I have heard of and seen quite a few dumbasses in this country, and these two people are inclusive of that. However, most of the dumbasses I have seen are young (teenage, young adults) people.

I can also tell that neigbours fighting against each other is not something I haven't heard of, but I sure as hell haven't heard of neigbours fighting with freaking chainsaws and swords before.

Posted: May 07 2012 08:58 am

Mr. Satire wrote:

@om*d wrote:

I just read the story again and realized that the people involved are Australian. No wonder why they thought this type of fight was a good idea.

How so?

I was just making a joke.

Posted: May 07 2012 08:48 pm

Preng wrote:

Ice2SeeYou wrote:

Damn. Assuming neither guy is a swordmaster or combat lumberjack, I don't think either party is walking away from a fight like that without losing a significant amount of blood.

If I ever start playing Dungeons & Dragons or such, I've figured out my class.

Isn't that rank in the Canadian Special Forces?

Posted: May 07 2012 08:51 pm

Blackout wrote:

Preng wrote:

Ice2SeeYou wrote:

Damn. Assuming neither guy is a swordmaster or combat lumberjack, I don't think either party is walking away from a fight like that without losing a significant amount of blood.

If I ever start playing Dungeons & Dragons or such, I've figured out my class.

Isn't that rank in the Canadian Special Forces?

Pretty sure it is the only rank in the Canadian Special Forces.