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Posted: Aug 10 2010 12:08 pm

Hey guys.

As most of you know, a few days ago I left my wife and son back in England and flew back by myself to California to start going to college again and try to make a life out here in order to eventually get my family to come as well. It's the only thing I've wanted to do for a number of years and thought that being here would make me happy.

Well, the night before I left, I had a nervous and emotional breakdown when I realized what I was doing. I got on the plane the next day anyway because I knew there were others expecting me to, like my parents.

The whole day was a nightmare of delayed and missed fights, rebookings, and eventually after 26 hours, I made it to California. As I lookd around this place I had longed to return to for so long, it all appeared meaningless to me without my family. It was hollow and I wasn't that person anymore.

Somewhere along the line, I had grown up and now I finally realized that my family was the most important thing to me in life and that I was actually pretty happy in England.

So, I have withdrawn from the college I was accepted into, and have booked plane tickets to get me back home to England and my family on the 22nd. While my parents and family here are disappointed, they understand that it was a stupid and ridiculous idea for me to think I could be happy being 5,000 miles away from my wife and son for an indeterminate amount of time.

The whole experience has opened my eyes to just how selfish I was and how happy I really was in England. So I hope that explains where I've been for the last few days if anyone wondered, and I'll be around sporatically until the 22nd when I go home.

Appreciate those you love around you and don't ever take them for granted like I did. I had to make a big mistake and almost kill myself to realize how good I had it and how much I love my family.

Posted: Aug 10 2010 12:13 pm

Best of luck man. Hope everything smooths out.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

I think your decision is commendable. So many people are afraid of diverting from the path they are on, it takes guts to make a decision like that. I hope that when you get back and things settle, your life plays out well.

Posted: Aug 10 2010 01:26 pm

Good luck in England, Panda!

Posted: Aug 10 2010 01:42 pm

GPFontaine wrote:

I think your decision is commendable. So many people are afraid of diverting from the path they are on, it takes guts to make a decision like that.

Definitely. It's not easy to reverse a decision after so much time and planning. It can take some big stones to do that. Hope everything turns out all right for you, man. Good luck.

Posted: Aug 10 2010 01:51 pm

I agree with what others have said.....it takes balls to do what you did. You may be afraid that you took the "coward's way out" in withdrawling from school and what not, but in actuality you did the opposite. You followed your heart, which can be the hardest thing in the world to do. I hope it all works out for you.

Posted: Aug 10 2010 02:12 pm

Ice2SeeYou wrote:

I agree with what others have said.....it takes balls to do what you did. You may be afraid that you took the "coward's way out" in withdrawling from school and what not, but in actuality you did the opposite. You followed your heart, which can be the hardest thing in the world to do. I hope it all works out for you.

Could not have said it any better.

Hope things work out for the best. You can always finish school in England, right?

Posted: Aug 10 2010 02:40 pm

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement guys, I really appreciate that. Basically the whole experience really opened my eyes as before I had been living in the past and preventing myself from having a future. That will all change now.

Yeah Andrew, that is an option. I can also just learn a trade or continue writing and try to turn that into a living. The bottom line is now I am ready and willing to really begin my life in England instead of desperately trying to get back to my childhood.

Posted: Aug 10 2010 02:46 pm

And who knows, maybe several years down the road when you are much more secure with everything perhaps you will have the ability to move your family to States if your still interested.

Posted: Aug 10 2010 03:44 pm

Yeah you can never go back, even if you do it's not what you left.

Wizard Joined: Jun 12 2009 Posts: 4209

Sorry to hear you had to go through all that crap. I don't regularly live with anyone, but I'm positive you're doing the right thing. After all, it's what you feel you should do, and there's no better reason.

Posted: Aug 10 2010 06:03 pm

This reads like a synopsis of a movie. It feels a lot more emotional hearing it from a forum.

Joined: Nov 11 2009 Location: Cajun Country Posts: 1511

Wow. I commend you my friend.

Joined: May 29 2010 Posts: 168

Hope all goes well with your new life. For almost half my life, my dad has lived halfway across the country from me so I know what it's like to be separated like that. You did the right thing going back to the people you love, and if you know in your heart that you did it right, then everything will turn out fine.

Posted: Aug 10 2010 08:03 pm

What's the old saying (and movie moral) about it taking a long and eventful journey to realize and appreciate just what we have in our own back yard?

Well done Panda. I'm glad you took action and went with your gut. When you do that, you can never be wrong. (Especially when it involves being close to your wife and kid.) Cheers!

Posted: Aug 11 2010 12:31 am

Nice. Good job on making a decision and having the will to follow thru.

Posted: Aug 11 2010 02:45 am

You guys are why I love this forum so much. I didn't need any reassurance that I had made the right decision for me and my family, but hearing it from all of you means a lot.

Posted: Aug 11 2010 10:49 am

you gotta do what you gotta do, man. even if it takes a 5k mile trip to realize exactly what you hold precious in life.

Joined: Aug 04 2009 Posts: 2515

Kudos to you! I couldn't stick moving away and leaving my family behind either.

Why don't you enroll in university in England? The system is very similar to what we have here - in fact it's identical.

..and i wouldn't worry about qualifications to get in, if you state that you are an international student they will still definitely consider you, i presume high school is the highest qualification before university in America?

If you like writing you could always take up English or Journalism! You also can do it full time or part time - if you want to spend time with your family!

Posted: Aug 11 2010 06:41 pm

Yeah, I'd love to go to university in England but I avoided it because I don't have GCSEs or A levels or any of that and didn't know how the system worked. If I can get into a school though without that stuff and use some of my previous college credit from here in the states, that'd be awesome.

It's something I'll definitely look into!

Joined: Aug 04 2009 Posts: 2515

Well i can't say for English universities but like i said the university i go to is virtually identical since i technically live in the UK.

So this may be helpful:

http://www.qub.ac.uk/home/ProspectiveStudents/InternationalStudents/InternationalUndergraduate/QueensandYourCountry/USA/

Here's some details:

Undergraduate (Full Degree)
In contrast to the US system, UK undergraduate applications are handled through a centralized clearinghouse. Therefore, application for admission to full-time undergraduate courses at the University should normally be made through the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS). Full information can be obtained from the UCAS website. With the exception of Medicine (where the closing date is 15 October) applications from international students are considered up to 30 June through the normal scheme. After that enquiries should be directed to the Admissions and Access Service (admissions@qub.ac.uk)

Generally, applicants for undergraduate (Bachelors) degree programs should hold:

* A US High School Diploma with a minimum CGPA of 3.0.
* A ACT test with a minimum score of 27 OR an SAT I test with a minium score of 1800 (600 Critical Reading, 600 Writing and 600 Mathematics)
* A minimum of at least two Advanced Placement (AP) tests at Grade 4 OR two SAT II subject tests at 600 or above. In both cases, these should be in relevant subjects if there are specific course requirements.

The standards required for individual degree programmes vary with higher requirements for the very competitive degree programmes, for example, Medicine, Law and Pharmacy.
International Baccalaureate entry requirements are listed in the Queen's undergraduate prospectus and range from 27-27 points overall depending on the degree programme.

Students may be expected to submit additional application materials and those interested in Medicine are advised that they should make arrangements to undertake the UK Clinical Aptitude Test (www.ukcat.ac.uk) during the summer prior to application.

Sorry for wall of text! I am sure it's not the same for all universities in the UK but it's just sort of an outline.

Also i should say, if you don't haven't done those tests you should be able to sit them in the UK. My mate is going to study in America and he was able to do his SATs here.

Posted: Aug 13 2010 02:25 pm

I thought the same thing my first tour to Iraq, unfortunately they got all bitchy with me when I tried to leave the next day...

Seriously though, I recently got off of active duty and into the reserves for the same reason, I like being with my family. Congrats you Limey Panda, you made the right choice. Now go enjoy that gorgeous weather in England!

Posted: Aug 13 2010 02:41 pm

Bless you, Panda, it's those hard decisions like that which really define people. I moved out to AZ from FL to move in with a woman I'd had a long term relationship with and all my friends and family were dead-set against it and only had a few thousand from selling most of my Beta magic collection and my grandfather's Rolex. My parents stopped talking to me and my father passed away while I was out here. But that woman? She's my wife now. Hope everything works out for you, bud.