Pandajuice wrote:

UsaSatsui wrote: It's 2 months salary, and it's bullshit. Don't worry about spending enough money, worry about finding something she's going to like. That doesn't mean be cheap, it means find a good ring, then worry about how much it costs. Price shouldn't be an issue. If it's not going to be a surprise, absolutely have her help pick one out. Also, it's not hard to slip into a jewelry store with her while walking the mall to browse (for, say, a necklace or something that is cheap) and see what she reacts to. To be honest, if she's any kind of woman you want to marry at all, she's not going to give a shit about how much you spent for it. QFT. If she's one to quibble that you spend 1 months salary instead of 2, or says "Um, it's kind of small..", then you don't want to marry her anyway. I'm guessing she'll love whatever ring you give her as most women care more about the proposal itself and a nice place to live rather than the size of the diamond. Do what Usa said. Browse some jewelry shops casually and she what she comments on and take notes. Alternatively, just get her one you think looks nice, that won't break your bank and I'm sure she'll love it.

As USA stated the amount of money you spend does not matter. In fact, you should not tell your girlfriend/fiance/wife at any point what the dollar value is. You can tell her about the ring, why you picked what you picked. The actual ring itself has meaning, but its dollar value does not unless someone goes to sell it.

I bought an engagement ring almost four years ago without my wife present. The fact that I call her my wife indicates that she did accept it by the way . Before I made the decision I spoke with her to gauge what type of ring she would be happy with. I never gave her the opportunity to specify the diamond quality or size, but I did ask for the shape and type of metal that she would want. This is a piece of jewelry that she will wear for the rest of her life, so picking one that is designed to her taste is important.

I did some local research and determined that I wanted to purchase a round 1ct diamond in a solitaire white gold band. If you search the internet you can find that ring for $2000 - $15000. So how do you pick one?

First have your girlfriend get measured. Go into a jewelery store and have them measure and size her ring finger. Don't guess. Resizing after you buy it sucks and it never looks as good as getting it done the first time correctly.

You need to educate yourself about diamond quality. Color, Cut, Clarity, Carat Weight are the primary things to understand. There is no workaround for color or cut. You get what you get when you select those two. Clarity however is where you get your wiggle room. Clarity includes defects in the diamond. If the defects are where the prongs will meet the diamond surface, then they don't matter much. Obviously, a cloudy diamond won't be nice, but a few black spots do not matter if they are not visible.

If you have the opportunity, the Diamond District in NYC is the best place to buy a diamond. You will get to build the ring from the setting up to the stone and they will do it all in front of you. Best of all, you can test hundreds of diamonds in the setting you choose.

Here are some points of advice if you choose to go to the Diamond District.

1. Go into at least 5-10 shops and have them show you diamonds and settings that you like. Get prices and educate yourself about what they are offering.
2. Go back to the shop you liked the best and tell them that you want the diamond you like but you want it for 10-20% less than they originally stated. They will say no, but will work with you. If they don't, tell them that you saw something in another store and have to think about it.
3. Do not buy any gem without a GIA certification. Don't do it. Don't think about it. Don't. Don't. Don't. They will be about 50% of the cost of those with the certs and they will tell you all about why they are the same thing. That certification is the only proof you have that the diamond is exactly what they say it is. For insurance purposes and scam prevention, it is not an option to avoid it.
4. If you are afraid you might not have the backbone to negotiate a better deal, go with a friend who can say things like, "I think you should think about it" or "Lets get lunch and talk it over."

If you choose a GIA certified diamond you don't have much to worry about in the Diamond District. The shop owners all know each other and there is strict self policing between them. If a shop owner were to scam customers they would be out of business. The other dealers would make sure of it.

So how much of a deal can you get in the diamond district? I bought a $9,000 ring for $6,000. They gave me a platinum setting and ring for free when I bought the diamond. I had the ring inspected by an insurance company when I went to get coverage and had it verified as exactly what it was sold as. While I don't recall the exact specs, it was a 1ct round cut. The same quality and size was going for around $7800 after negotiations on sale at a mall shop.

Looking back, buying the ring was actually fun. I hope you enjoy the experience.

UsaSatsui wrote:

My wife's ring I think cost about $750. It's not much, but she freaking loves it. That's all that matters.

It isn't all that matters. It matters if you love it too. It sounds like you do though because it makes her happy which makes you happy.

A ring that just makes the woman happy isn't the right one.