So my wife brought up Sweet Pickles the other night and I was shocked. Why was I shocked? Because all my life I thought Sweet Pickles was a delusion I had when I was a child. I remember trying to bring it up several times as an adult to see if anyone else remembered but they just thought I was talking about a homoerotic disco-tech. So what is a Sweet Pickle? Well it doesn't come in a jar, in fact I'm not sure what it comes in, maybe a green van, which leads me to my point. When I was 5 years old, I saw the below commercial, and many others like it and got all stoked about some crazy animals showing up to my house in a green van. I cut out the TV Guide coupon, got my dollar and went to the post office. For months I sat by the window like that goon waiting for Ovalteen shit in A Christmas Story. Months turned into years and years turned into more years, and no fucking van ever made it's way down my dusty drive way.

20 some odd years later, my wife tells me the exact same story. So now I'm thinking these people scammed hundreds if not hundreds and ones of kids out of a fucking dollar. So when it comes to things noone has ever heard of, I.E. Banana Man or Danger Mouse, I turn to you SydLexia, to prove that I am not insane and did not imagine this shit when I was growing up in the dustbowl of Nevada. Please if you ever actually received the books from Sweet Pickles, or even if you have just heard of them, let me know. I want some answers and I want to know why they cheated me out of an education, one that might have propelled me to go onto college and not the Marines. Sweet Pickles ruined my fucking life. That is all.