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The Most Useless Video Game Items


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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 12:22 am Reply with quote Back to top

some list 1up stole from UGO. obviously some items dont belong and others were missed. but here you go:
http://www.1up.com/do/feature?cId=3178935 &
http://www.ugo.com/games/useless-video-game-items

17. Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past - Bee in a Jar
16. Dead Rising - Teddy Bear
15. Wolfenstein 3D - Pistol
14. Smash Bros. Brawl - Goldeen
13. Mario Kart - Single Banana
12. Super Mario: The Lost Levels - Poison Mushroom
11. Grand Theft Auto Series - Stallion
10. Street Fighter Series - Vega
9. Halo: Combat Evolved - Needler
8. Tetris - S and Z Shaped Tetrominoes
7. Thief: Dark Project - Sword
6. World of WarCraft - Non-Combat Pets
5. Bushido Blade Series - Dirt
4. Castlevania - Dagger
3. Metal Gear Solid - Cigarettes
2. Shenmue - Capsule Toys
1. GoldenEye 007 - Klobb

my thoughts:
the single banana still protects you from 1 red shell.
the needler was great when dual wielded in Halo 2. but sucked in halo 1.
i dont mind the S/Z tetrominoes
fuck WoW
the Klobb definitely sucked


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Char Aznable
Title: Char Classicâ„¢
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 12:33 am Reply with quote Back to top

Vega? That's not an item. And Vega is pretty good if you know how to use him, like any other character in that game. Granted, if they had limited it to SFII, there was the whole lack of steel cage on any stage but his, but they fixed that later.


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LowEndLem
Title: Not Gay
Joined: Mar 19 2009
Location: Illinois
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 12:41 am Reply with quote Back to top

Hey, I killed someone with a Klobb....once. And it's not a bad desperation weapon.


<docinsano>i beat off using save states

<Tako> But, brontosaurs ate plants. It wouldn't be a threat to Jesus.

Why? Fuck you, that's why.
 
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Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 12:46 am Reply with quote Back to top

No mention of the meat in LoZ?


"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
 
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TARDISman
Title: Time Traveller
Joined: May 18 2009
Location: The End of Time
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 12:51 am Reply with quote Back to top

Nah, that's needed to get past that hungry thing. For me the most useless item I've ever seen in a game would be the Gilgamesh Summon in Dissidia Final Fantasy, which either triples your attack or drops it to 1 and leaves you wide open for any attack to tear you apart.


RIP Hacker 1993-2014
"Paint me like one of your French Squids" -My buddy on Relm vs Ultros.
 
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Unykle Broh
Title: Idiotique
Joined: Jul 24 2009
Location: Lake Stevens, WA
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 01:03 am Reply with quote Back to top

-The Fireball gun in the first Contra.
-The chainsaw in Maniac Mansion.



 
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 05:56 am Reply with quote Back to top

The cigs come in handy in MGS if you didn't pick up the thermal goggles. They also make you look really cool.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 06:06 am Reply with quote Back to top

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Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 09:32 am Reply with quote Back to top

Doddsino wrote:
The cigs come in handy in MGS if you didn't pick up the thermal goggles. They also make you look really cool.

Agreed on this... Unless you played the game alot, you might not find the Thermals the first time around so the Cigs are usefull
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 10:11 am Reply with quote Back to top

The giant rupees in OOT and its successors. There's what, like three things you need to buy?
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 10:37 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
The giant rupees in OOT and its successors. There's what, like three things you need to buy?

I always thought that Zelda handled money poorly.



 
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Thunderhorse
Title: This is DELICIOUS!
Joined: Dec 29 2009
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 11:15 am Reply with quote Back to top

If I remember correctly, the dagger from the original Castlevania tore through the Mummy Twins pretty quickly, which makes them pretty damn useful in my book.

Vega can be pretty scary if in the right hands.

Smoking helps with sniping in the Metal Gear Solid Series.

The pistol may be worse than the machine gun, but its better than going with just the knife.

I weild a pretty mean needler in all the Halo games. It's my weapon of choice.

Goldeen...Yeah, that's completely useless.


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This Is Tuna With Bacon
 
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Klimbatize
2010 NES Champ
Title: 2011 Picnic/Death Champ
Joined: Mar 15 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 11:37 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
The giant rupees in OOT and its successors. There's what, like three things you need to buy?

I'm still annoyed that all I got was unlimited money for getting all 100 skulltulas. At that point you don't even need to buy anything.


Pretty much the greatest thread of all time: http://www.sydlexia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=14789

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Ba'al
Title: Zerg Zergling
Joined: Mar 02 2008
Location: Uranus
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 11:39 am Reply with quote Back to top

username wrote:
13. Mario Kart - Single Banana
10. Street Fighter Series - Vega
8. Tetris - S and Z Shaped Tetrominoes


I have a problem with these three, a single banana dropped behind you against the CPU may border on useless. But if you have good aim like myself, you can throw them ahead of yourself and right in front of someone who's in front of you. And if you're going to say a character in a fighting game is useless, then please at least define which game and you might as well list Dan Hibiki for being useless in most of the games he's in. There are plenty more characters who could've been garbage-tier just like the both of them. Finally, I hate O-Blocks more than S and Z-Blocks as they disrupt your play alot easier midway in the game where you most likely won't have two spaces open for it to land cleanly.

Also, no LV. 100 Magikarp or the Spikey-Eared Pichu?


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Ermac
Title: Thread Killer
Joined: Aug 04 2008
Location: Outworld
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 12:38 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Unykle Broh wrote:

-The chainsaw in Maniac Mansion.



ditto,
I alway hoped u could use this somehow even though i knew in a game like MM it was unlikely.
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Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 01:16 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Ermac wrote:
Unykle Broh wrote:

-The chainsaw in Maniac Mansion.



ditto,
I alway hoped u could use this somehow even though i knew in a game like MM it was unlikely.

The fuel for the Chainsaw is currently in the possession of Zak McCracken
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Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 01:54 pm Reply with quote Back to top

The Boots of Levitation in Wizards and Warriors. You could levitate a whole 3 feet into the air, and.....that's it.


Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards.
 
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 02:07 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
These: http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/useless.htm

You know, I went looking for that, but he changed his NES page so it sucks now, and I couldn't find it.
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Ghandi
Title: Alexz Aficionado
Joined: May 21 2008
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 02:09 pm Reply with quote Back to top

The single banana in Mario Kart? That guy just never learned how to use it, or throw it.
Vega? Heading towards invalidating the list...
Tetris? Really? Strikes for that one.

He should have used actual useless items. Earthbound has some.


RIP Hacker

Alexz Johnson

 
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NotEnoughGolds
Joined: Feb 16 2010
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 03:17 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Ice2SeeYou wrote:
The Boots of Levitation in Wizards and Warriors. You could levitate a whole 3 feet into the air, and.....that's it.

If you're going to do an item for that game, it has to be the Cloak of Invisibility.
Enemies can still see and hurt you... you just can't see yourself.

Bee in a Jar was useful, just not as useful as a fairy.
Poison Mushrooms aren't supposed to be useful. If you're going to put that on there you might as well list "Poison" from Faxanadu or "Spikes" from Mega Man.
The Needler was a necessity in Halo's Legendary Campaign.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 03:39 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Dan Hibiki isn't useless, except in Super Puzzle Fighter, where his drop pattern borders on unplayable.

I seem to recall the Sylph Summon in FF4 being completely useless by the time you get it. The super duper secret summons were definitely all useless.
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 03:45 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
The giant rupees in OOT and its successors. There's what, like three things you need to buy?

This is why I like Majora's Mask best. Sure they give you a shitload of rupees, but you'll need them in order to do all the mini-games.
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 05:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
I seem to recall the Sylph Summon in FF4 being completely useless by the time you get it.

Hardly. It was glitched so it cost 0 mana.

Unfortunately fixed later, though.
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TARDISman
Title: Time Traveller
Joined: May 18 2009
Location: The End of Time
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 06:22 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
Dan Hibiki isn't useless, except in Super Puzzle Fighter, where his drop pattern borders on unplayable.

Not if you rush them, I think I've managed to beat a number of people with Dan just on pure luck.
Kefka!


RIP Hacker 1993-2014
"Paint me like one of your French Squids" -My buddy on Relm vs Ultros.
 
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 06:59 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I believe the 360 version of the the game has an acheivement for beating it as Dan. I did it. Basically, you've got to stall and then get off a huge chain.
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