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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
Posts: 3129
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Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
Posts: 1761
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If a magician saws a girl in half and then makes love to the lower half, is it really rape? It can't say no.
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 Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards. |
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Guile
Title: Sonic Boom!
Joined: Apr 21 2010
Posts: 30
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I really hope this isn't true...
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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Even if it is true, no worries. I'm sure he made all the evidence disappear.
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Klimbatize
2010 NES Champ
Title: 2011 Picnic/Death Champ
Joined: Mar 15 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 5000
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Wasn't he accused of rape a couple of years ago, too?
EDIT: Just looked it up. He was accused of sexual assault in 2007, but that case was finally dropped in January of this year. Wow, another accusation hot off the heels of the closing of a previous one? This magicman sure knows how to celebrate.
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
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Isn't he like 150 years old now, not to also mention, fictional?
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
Wasn't he accused of rape a couple of years ago, too?
EDIT: Just looked it up. He was accused of sexual assault in 2007, but that case was finally dropped in January of this year. Wow, another accusation hot off the heels of the closing of a previous one? This magicman sure knows how to celebrate. |
Once you've been accused once, it becomes easier for others to accuse you, even if it wasn't true to begin with. It's called Michael Jackson Syndrome.
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Klimbatize
2010 NES Champ
Title: 2011 Picnic/Death Champ
Joined: Mar 15 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 5000
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anorexorcist
Title: Polar Bear
Joined: May 21 2008
Location: The Cock and Plucket
Posts: 2131
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The reverse can also be true. Once someone comes forward, other victims might find it easier comming forward now that they aren't alone.
I'm not saying that's the case though. Once there is one accusation it's easier to come forward for a victim or a gold digger. When dealing with celebrities it's the latter more often than not.
I'm sure he's got something up his sleave to get outta this one.
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Lawyers, Guns and Money |
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Posts: 5316
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How was it rape? Did he make himself invisible or something? Did he put her in one of those boxes, and instead of sticking swords in there he...yeah you know where I'm going with that.
I really don't care either way, this guy always seemed like a hack to me. Whoever that chick was that he was banging in the early 90's...I was jealous.
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Klimbatize
2010 NES Champ
Title: 2011 Picnic/Death Champ
Joined: Mar 15 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 5000
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| Doddsino wrote: |
| How was it rape? Did he make himself invisible or something? Did he put her in one of those boxes, and instead of sticking swords in there he...yeah you know where I'm going with that. |
...used his magic wand?
Speaking of hacks, I eagerly await the other magician jokes upcoming in this thread. We've already had a couple of solid ones.
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
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| Doddsino wrote: |
| Whoever that chick was that he was banging in the early 90's...I was jealous. |
That was supermodel Claudia Schiffer
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
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well, if he made the statue of liberty disappear, im sure he can make this lawsuit disappear
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
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| username wrote: |
| well, if he made the statue of liberty disappear, im sure he can make this lawsuit disappear |
I heard he didn't actually make the Statue of Liberty disapear. The statue went into hiding due to shame after he raped it.
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anorexorcist
Title: Polar Bear
Joined: May 21 2008
Location: The Cock and Plucket
Posts: 2131
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If he's made the statue of libirty dissapear I don't think he'd be satisfied in his magician skills if he simply made the lawsuit dissapear. I bet he goes to prison and makes the prison dissapear.
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Lawyers, Guns and Money |
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Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
Posts: 1761
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David Copperfield = Master of illusion/makes shit disappear
Steven Segal = Martial arts master
If they mated = Ninjitsu rapist.
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Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards. |
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JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
Posts: 3475
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All of the magic rape jokes in this thread is solid golid. 
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There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant. |
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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
Posts: 3129
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...I wonder if he employed some weird form of bondage using the box that messes peoples bodies up or a straight jacket
| anorexorcist wrote: |
| If he's made the statue of libirty dissapear I don't think he'd be satisfied in his magician skills if he simply made the lawsuit dissapear. I bet he goes to prison and makes the prison dissapear. |
Or escapes without a trace 
But about my question earlier
Can he be convicted (if he did it) if this was on his private island?
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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This is why I hate magicians. You never see a mime pulling this shit.
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Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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Klimbatize
2010 NES Champ
Title: 2011 Picnic/Death Champ
Joined: Mar 15 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 5000
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| Hacker wrote: |
But about my question earlier
Can he be convicted (if he did it) if this was on his private island? |
It probably falls under the jurisdiction of some country, like the Bahamas. This isn't "The Most Dangerous Game" where a dude can set up an island and do whatever the hell he wants. And last time I checked (though admittedly, it's been a while) rape wasn't legal in the Commonwealth of The Bahamas.
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Captain_Pollution
Title: Hugh
Joined: Sep 23 2007
Posts: 1591
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I brought it up in IRC, he meant more where would he be punished, than just would he be, it seems.
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<Drew_Linky> Well, I've eaten vegetables all of once in my life.
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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I knew this thread would be a bunch of jokes.
| Klimbatize wrote: |
| Hacker wrote: |
But about my question earlier
Can he be convicted (if he did it) if this was on his private island? |
It probably falls under the jurisdiction of some country, like the Bahamas. This isn't "The Most Dangerous Game" where a dude can set up an island and do whatever the hell he wants. And last time I checked (though admittedly, it's been a while) rape wasn't legal in the Commonwealth of The Bahamas. |
Yes. "Private island" is like a "private home" or any other sort of private property. You're still in some country's jurisdiction.
Trust me, if there is any useful land on this planet, some country claims it. And probably 99% of the non-useful land too.
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posts: 12294
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Wow guys. I have nothing to contribute to this topic. Just.... wow.
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
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jew, speechless?!
*head explodes*
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posts: 12294
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