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Posted: Mar 08 2010 02:42 pm

Welp I've come to that life stage where my girl and I have decided we'd like to live together. I'm moving into her condo, which she owns. I've got two months before I need to be out of my apartment, which makes it kind of nice since I can gradually move stuff over there instead of having to do it all in one day. Her place is a bit on the small side for two people, but we think we can tolerate it for what will (hopefully) not be too long of a time. We'll be able to save money quicker this way, and hopefully move into a bigger place that much sooner.

Was just curious to hear other people's experiences in co-habitating with a significant other. I know a lot of shit changes when suddenly you're both sharing a smaller space than you're used to, and there's nowhere for you to escape. We've weighed all the pro's and con's though, and we think it's a good decision for us.

Anyone have any input?

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Mar 08 2010 02:47 pm

Quote:

there's nowhere for you to escape.

This is the big one, IMO. Take some time for yourself away from the lady every now and then.

I love my wife, but gah, I need some time alone every now and then.

Joined: Nov 11 2009 Location: Cajun Country Posts: 1511

If she's a messy person then be prepared to see hell every time you walk into the bathroom.

Posted: Mar 08 2010 03:08 pm

Yea I know it's important to have time to yourself. She and I are alike in that way......we're both very independent and don't need constant companionship. It'll be especially hard with such a small place, but hopefully we can deal.

I'm actually the messier of the two of us. But she tends to make me be neater, so hopefully I can keep that up.

Joined: Mar 13 2009 Location: Arlington Posts: 467

Gone will be the days of the 8 hour RPG or Civ 4 sessions.

Posted: Mar 08 2010 03:12 pm

Yeah, basically the first thing you both need to do (although you can only control yourself) is relax any and all expectations you don't know that you have. She will do little things that will annoy you and you will do things that will annoy her. Unless it's a big deal, the best thing you can do is just let those things go.

Living in a small space with someone can amplify those annoyances too so make sure you do get some time apart. Make sure you're working a decent set of hours, and have a hobby that takes you out of the house. You can definitely see too much of someone you love and it could impact the relationship.

My wife quit her job last year, and I've not been independent since I moved to England (it was a temporary move, so I never bothered to learn to drive here and my "job" was to look after my young son) so we've basically been together 24 hours a day for the last year, stuck in a smallish house. And I can tell you, when there's a minor annoyance or arguement, it becomes a huge fucking deal and we argue like lions simply because we see each other too much and it all comes boiling to the surface.

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

Me and my woman have lived together for 5 years now, and we have reached our fighting limits, and we know what pisses each other off so we get along perfect now. It might be bumpy the first couple months, but you'll learn to love it.

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Mar 08 2010 05:14 pm

Keep an emergency fund of a couple hundred bucks, just in case. If things go bad, you don't want to be stuck there because you can't afford to get out, and you don't want to be the guy who shows up at someone's door at 11 at night because you just got kicked out.

Also, if she has any irritating habits you discover, learn to deal with them. She's not gonna change.

Posted: Mar 08 2010 05:24 pm

If you can picture her taking a crap on the toilet and not be repulsed, then you'll be fine.

Posted: Mar 08 2010 07:20 pm

UsaSatsui wrote:

Keep an emergency fund of a couple hundred bucks, just in case. If things go bad, you don't want to be stuck there because you can't afford to get out, and you don't want to be the guy who shows up at someone's door at 11 at night because you just got kicked out.

I was going to suggest the same thing, but figured he probably has parents that'll take him in for a day or two if it goes tits up.

Also, it's a great day when you both start farting in front of each other. That's when you know it's comfortable and good.

Posted: Mar 08 2010 07:30 pm

make sure you punch a hole in a wall somewhere. that way you establish your dominance by being the stronger of the two

Posted: Mar 08 2010 07:36 pm

Pandajuice wrote:

UsaSatsui wrote:

Keep an emergency fund of a couple hundred bucks, just in case. If things go bad, you don't want to be stuck there because you can't afford to get out, and you don't want to be the guy who shows up at someone's door at 11 at night because you just got kicked out.

I was going to suggest the same thing, but figured he probably has parents that'll take him in for a day or two if it goes tits up.

Also, it's a great day when you both start farting in front of each other. That's when you know it's comfortable and good.

Weird, I was just about to post the same thing about farting. Laughing

Posted: Mar 08 2010 07:40 pm

Ice2SeeYou wrote:

Welp I've come to that life stage where my girl and I have decided we'd like to live together. I'm moving into her condo, which she owns. I've got two months before I need to be out of my apartment, which makes it kind of nice since I can gradually move stuff over there instead of having to do it all in one day. Her place is a bit on the small side for two people, but we think we can tolerate it for what will (hopefully) not be too long of a time. We'll be able to save money quicker this way, and hopefully move into a bigger place that much sooner.

Was just curious to hear other people's experiences in co-habitating with a significant other. I know a lot of shit changes when suddenly you're both sharing a smaller space than you're used to, and there's nowhere for you to escape. We've weighed all the pro's and con's though, and we think it's a good decision for us.

Anyone have any input?

as long as she doesnt make you change your avatar I am all for it

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Mar 08 2010 08:15 pm

Pandajuice wrote:

UsaSatsui wrote:

Keep an emergency fund of a couple hundred bucks, just in case. If things go bad, you don't want to be stuck there because you can't afford to get out, and you don't want to be the guy who shows up at someone's door at 11 at night because you just got kicked out.

I was going to suggest the same thing, but figured he probably has parents that'll take him in for a day or two if it goes tits up.

Yeah, but again, do you really want to be the asshole who puts their parents on the spot like that? What if they can't take you in?

Of course, if you don't make up, you'll have to eventually put a friend or the parents out, but at least then it's not a situation where you're on their doorstep with a suitcase in the middle of the night.

Posted: Mar 08 2010 08:56 pm

UsaSatsui wrote:

I need some time alone every now and then.

Oooh, everybody needs some time on their own...
Oooh, everybody needs some time all alone...

Posted: Mar 08 2010 09:45 pm

Thanks for all the input guys.

I do understand the value of alone time, and she does as well. We're both very independent people, which works out really well because we both understand that we don't need to be together all the time.

And for the record, I started farting in front of her quite early in the relationship. I find it to be the ultimate litmus test for a relationship. If she can tolerate it, or better yet return fire, she's a keeper.

Quote:

make sure you punch a hole in a wall somewhere. that way you establish your dominance by being the stronger of the two

Well one time I clogged her toilet, and told her I wouldn't plunge it until she finished cooking my breakfast.

Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

Ice2SeeYou wrote:

Quote:

make sure you punch a hole in a wall somewhere. that way you establish your dominance by being the stronger of the two

Well one time I clogged her toilet, and told her I wouldn't plunge it until she finished cooking my breakfast.

Posted: Mar 08 2010 10:25 pm

Hacker wrote:

Ice2SeeYou wrote:

Quote:

make sure you punch a hole in a wall somewhere. that way you establish your dominance by being the stronger of the two

Well one time I clogged her toilet, and told her I wouldn't plunge it until she finished cooking my breakfast.

fair enough

you can also piss on all her belongings to show her that she is your property.

Joined: Oct 01 2009 Posts: 5316

pineapple wrote:

If she's a messy person then be prepared to see hell every time you walk into the bathroom.

God yes, I hate this with a passion.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

Syd Lexia wrote:

UsaSatsui wrote:

I need some time alone every now and then.

Oooh, everybody needs some time on their own...
Oooh, everybody needs some time all alone...

Since no one else said so, I figure I should mention that I appreciate Syd's contribution to this thread.

Ice, I have been living with my wife for 7 years now. I love it. I'm not saying that there aren't frustrations, but in general it is wonderful.

I am not sure how big your place is, but ideally as long as it isn't a studio you both have a place to go when you need space. Good luck with the move!

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

buy a gun.

Posted: Mar 09 2010 02:52 am

Good luck Ice! I personally get nervous about staying the night anywhere but my own bed, so I wish you the best.

Posted: Mar 09 2010 03:29 am

Being in a small living area isn't too bad, me and my other half moved up to Alaska for school and found a tiny place to co-habitate up here. A small area may not be the best for everyone but it's brought us closer together. I even took the plunge and asked her to be my wife last month.

Posted: Mar 09 2010 05:45 am

Congrats Asmo! Way to steal thunder!

Posted: Mar 09 2010 07:02 am

UsaSatsui wrote:

Pandajuice wrote:

UsaSatsui wrote:

Keep an emergency fund of a couple hundred bucks, just in case. If things go bad, you don't want to be stuck there because you can't afford to get out, and you don't want to be the guy who shows up at someone's door at 11 at night because you just got kicked out.

I was going to suggest the same thing, but figured he probably has parents that'll take him in for a day or two if it goes tits up.

Yeah, but again, do you really want to be the asshole who puts their parents on the spot like that? What if they can't take you in?

Of course, if you don't make up, you'll have to eventually put a friend or the parents out, but at least then it's not a situation where you're on their doorstep with a suitcase in the middle of the night.

Yeah, you're totally right Usa. I wasn't dismissing the suggestion, but rather saying that I had the same one, but neglected to post it. It's definitely a good one as it's always a good idea to sock away a few hundred bucks just in case and there's nothing more humiliating than begging your buddy if you crash on his sofa.