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UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Jan 11 2010 06:34 am

I stumbled upon this on TVTropes and just had to share my disgust.

The game is called F.A.T.A.L., and it is without question the most mind boggling and disgusting thing I've seen.

Among the highlights, and I am not making this up:

- The book (in PDF format) is over 900 pages long. Close to a thousand. And it's all poorly written. And extremely misogynist. And no, I'm not talking about "They only use male pronouns!" I'm talking "women are chattel and sex slaves". Heck, a bit of racism is thrown in there too.

-Every little insignificant possible thing is included, including tons of tables, with hundreds or thousands of entries, to determine the result of a hit to the nutsack (really). One table asks for a roll of a d10,000,000. Yes, it's asking you to roll dice to generate a random number between 1 and TEN FUCKING MILLION (to see if a woman will have multiple births, of course.)

-The rules system also goes into minute and boring detail about the most boring crap. There is a "urinating" skill. Yes, most RPGs just gloss over your basic bodily functions...this game has a pissing skill roll.

-There are rules for rape. Yes. There are actual game rules for raping people. This game seems all about the rape, to be honest. Rape is a less severe crime than not paying your rent or being a dishonest merchant, and there's a magic spell that lets you screw a corpse as if it were alive. And in case you missed it, there are RULES for this sort of thing!

It's a serious WTF thing. And it tries to pass itself off as "realistic" too.

Some links, and while none of them have actual dirty pictures in them, they should all be considered NSFW:

A review of the game. Funny and goes over the worst parts, but wordy.
A rebuttal to the above review by the game's creator, who comes off as one sick fuck. His response to "FATAL is the date rape RPG" is "That's a faulty conclusion...where is dating included?"
The FATAL Rulebook. God help you if you go into this 977-page abomination.

(BTW, while this could be in the "Games" forum, not only does this barely qualify as a game, but I think it's of general interest to non-gamers. So I put it here)

Joined: Nov 11 2009 Location: Cajun Country Posts: 1511

What the fuck? All I had to do was take one look at the cover art to see how screwy this game is.

Posted: Jan 11 2010 06:52 am

Ahem
"Roll for Anal Circumference"

F.A.T.A.L. is a horrible joke of a game.

And it's incredibly popular. :/

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

I was gonna bitch about this being in the wrong forum, but EVERYONE should see this thread. Wow.

Posted: Jan 11 2010 12:45 pm

Certain people with certain genetic combinations have entirely too much time on their hands.

Posted: Jan 11 2010 01:34 pm

The fun of crappy RPGs. A good object lesson if nothing else.

Posted: Jan 11 2010 01:48 pm

The only reason people play this is because of the shit factor. =p

I'd totally love to see some LARPing of this.

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Jan 11 2010 01:53 pm

Mr. Bomberman wrote:

The only reason people play this is because of the shit factor. =p

Please tell me that's not another stat I missed.

Posted: Jan 11 2010 02:40 pm

Ugh.

Posted: Jan 11 2010 03:07 pm

At 900 pages and all those charts, it's still easier to play than the Heroes system.

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

Quote:

Sartin: This would be a good place to rag on the "one thousand hours of research" the FATALites are ever so quick to bleat that Hall did when he shat out FATAL. While many of you have been understandably skeptical of this figure, I can easily see it. In fact, going from FATAL's end product, Hall's research probably went something like:

20 hours: Playing AD&D and thinking "I could so do better than this."

0.4 hours: Hitting head on a toilet and becoming absolutely sure of that. (That's 24 minutes of hitting your head on the toilet. This is not a mathematical error.)

2 hours: Being rejected by fuckable women. (If you're willing to expand the definition of "fuckable" to include the words "within four drinks", then the final research total can be considered well over 1,000 hours.)

25 hours: Huffing paint and listening to death metal.

0.2 hours: Composing the FATAL theme while still disoriented from the paint huffing.

20 hours: Thumbing through every medieval history book that has the word "prostitute".

5 hours: Accidentally flipping through Roman or Biblical history books and either a) mistaking them for medieval history books, or b) failing to realize that, as human society varied drastically over the course of history, writing FATAL in a way that portrays society being pretty much the same EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME and calling it "historically accurate" is a bad move.

0.4 hours: Mistaking a policewoman for a prostitute.

10 hours: Flipping through anatomy and medical texts while drunk. "Yeah, I think you could make a Health check to survive if your sternum was driven into your heart. Way cool."

2 hours: Repairing punctures in "Sexpot Annie".

5 hours: Flipping through kids' mythology books and watching Hercules: the Legendary Journeys, and realizing (with the help of a large, skull-shaped bong) that Zeus and Odin must have been total ass-bandits and they just left that part out, and "mythological" just means whatever the fuck you want to make up.

10 hours: Reading up on non-cognitivism, ether theory, and physiognomy without realizing that they're not exactly respected ideas anymore.

900 hours: Circle jerking with Torturon, Burnout, and Psychotic Messanger [sic] of Death.

I did not personally witness any of this, of course, but it's the combination of events that would most plausibly result in FATAL.

By the way, did I mention that this book is 900 pages long?

hahahahah

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

no, fuck all of that:

Quote:

And there's your Anal Circumference roll, in case someone needs to figure out if they can fit their penis or blade or fist (yes, there's a Fist Circumference roll, too) in there. Try to get out of rolling it, though, because you don't wanna read sentences like "Should any anus be stretched beyond the limit as determined by the table below, which differs from anus to anus, the orifice will rip to accommodate the incoming object. First, consider all relevant modifiers, then roll percentile dice and proceed to the following table" without the assistance of alcohol.

Posted: Jan 12 2010 04:47 am

You have to ROLL to see if a given object will fit into a given hole/orifice?

I had no idea those measurements were variables. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Jan 12 2010 06:25 am

If you play as a loli, can you make saving throws against rape?

Posted: Jan 12 2010 10:41 am

Syd Lexia wrote:

If you play as a loli, can you make saving throws against rape?

Sure, but you take a -20 penalty if tenticles are involved.

Title: Hugh Joined: Sep 23 2007 Posts: 1591

SoldierHawk wrote:

You have to ROLL to see if a given object will fit into a given hole/orifice?

I had no idea those measurements were variables. Rolling Eyes

Looking into it a bit, it sounds like you roll once when creating the character, and then that's their set stat for the various circumferences.

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Jan 12 2010 01:38 pm

Syd Lexia wrote:

If you play as a loli, can you make saving throws against rape?

There's character creation rules for infants. So...yeah.

Posted: Jan 12 2010 01:46 pm

UsaSatsui wrote:

Syd Lexia wrote:

If you play as a loli, can you make saving throws against rape?

There's character creation rules for infants. So...yeah.

Posted: Jan 12 2010 02:18 pm

I've heard of this before, because well, I spend too much time of TvTropes, and I really, really want to play it. I just hate myself that much.

Posted: Jan 12 2010 05:09 pm

Agreed. I think the only reason I heard of this game is because of TVTropes. I almost want to see someone play this game just to laugh at it in action.

Posted: Jan 12 2010 11:31 pm

Yaknow, I think I'd like to meet this Byron Hall guy so I could punch him in the withered testicle.

Actually, fuck it, he'd probably like that.

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

Blackout wrote:

UsaSatsui wrote:

Syd Lexia wrote:

If you play as a loli, can you make saving throws against rape?

There's character creation rules for infants. So...yeah.

Infant modifiers are presented, in case you wanted to play Baby Geniuses against a backdrop of anus fisting and 16 foot urination. And it's not as crippling as you'd think, either. The total Strength modifier is -90, so if you were lucky enough to roll 180 Strength or so, your infant adventurer will be about as strong as an average adult human. Bodily Attractiveness is also -90, so again, an excellent roll will still leave you with average adult fuckability and little or no BA penalty to those Seduction and Sexual Adeptness rolls. (To recap: That's a baby that's as strong as a normal human and apparently eminently fuckable in the bargain.)

Posted: Jan 14 2010 02:24 am

I've been reading pieces of the review every now and then and I have to say that this is some messed up stuff. In the creator's rebuttal he doesn't even begin to justify the majority of the glaring problems of the game.

This game reminds me of something a guy I knew in high school would like. I can't imagine actually finding people who would be able to both enjoy the messed up humor and work out the math needed to play.

Posted: Jan 14 2010 09:35 pm

UsaSatsui wrote:

I stumbled upon this on TVTropes and just had to share my disgust.

By chance did you find this on the So Bad It's Horrible page?

Posted: Jan 15 2010 12:50 pm

Neutral-Bob wrote:

I can't imagine actually finding people who would be able to both enjoy the messed up humor and work out the math needed to play.

It's like Postal for MIT students.