Well, it's been a while since I've played it, I bought it when it came out, beat it and tried again a few more times, to get 100%, but never did. After doing so on both GTA 3 and Vice City, I figured I might as well go for the trifecta, however every time I start, I lost motivation fast.
So like a dumb idiot, who doesn't learn his lesson, I tried again recently. Like on the previous two incarnations, I decided to start with a Master file (a save state where you complete as many extras before starting the actual story). The reason I try this, is because starting out, your stats are absolutely piss poor and when I start the story mode, I don't want to have to spot in order to spray paint walls because I don't have money to buy the weapons I need to complete the missions. It's a tedious process that is better served if you get it out of the way while you can...so expect to spend about 10 hours on beginning the game alone.
So began my struggle, I always forget what an annoyance this game was when it came to extra shit. There's way way way too much to do.
Before I begin, I must admit that there are several good factors to the game that have been improved since Vice City and 3;
You can swim
You can climb
Customize character
You can customize cars
Upgrade the usuage of weapons, although tedious
There's a penalty for trying to sneak into other areas
However, I'd like to discuss several problems I've always had with this game, namely the city layout. Despite being absolutely enormous, Los Santos is also very very compacted. Many streets lead to dead ends and are very hard to manuver with larger vehicles, especially with cops ridden at almost every block. There's also very annoying gangs to deal with, who won't hesistate to shoot at you from the very beginning of the game.
The problem with all of this, is the factor that it can be almost impossible to complete any side missions, despite where you're located. For example, taxi missions almost always require you to make the long venture to the other side of the island in 3 minutes, which can be done, but not before you absolutely trash your vehicle and bump the cops and a motorcycle patrolman will shoot the shit out of you. So most likely, you'll be lucky to get 2 or 3 fares before your car either is about to explode or the cops get you. Also keep in mind, a lot of the roads you travel on have barriers that don't allow you to take short cuts, so if you get on the interstate, you're absolutely fucked. And good luck with the firetruck, it's now absolutely broken, due to the fact that you can't swivel the hose and it only follows the direction that you're looking, so if you are looking to the left or right while using it, you will also shoot your gun, which alerts the cops or blows up the car you're trying to save. The firefighter missions were perfect in GTA 3, the fire engine now rolls over more than Sparky the family dog.
So out of all the car missions, the only one I complete is Vigilante. And since I'm trying to do everything legit without failing or dying, it's borderline insanity.
And that's another thing, the damn stats. It keeps track of almost everything, including cheats. Now, I'm not the kind of guy to cheat, but the first time I played through this game, I almost had to in order to do that fucking Zero mission, however I even attempted using cheat codes and it STILL didn't help me. Some of the almost impossible tasks in this game drive you up the wall. Anyways, the stats also keep track of all mission attempts and missions passed, which is fine...except for the fact you can attempt missions without even knowing. Being the anal nerd that I am, I've maintained the idea of keeping a perfect game when playing through the GTA games, missions attempt and failed should always match up, which made me scratch my head when I looked at my stats on San Andreas;
Missions Attempted: 48
Missions Passed: 27
....WTF? Any time I failed a mission, I deliberately reloaded the file...is this a glitch? Well it turns out, that a lot of things you do, count as missions. You lift weights, that's a mission attempt. You play a video game, that's a mission attempt. You take a shit, that's a mission attempt. You go dance, that's a mission attempt,and there are several points in the game where you have no choice...what's the fucking deal? How am I supposed to pass some of these things that don't have an achievement level? I can work out for 10 hours straight and will not achieve anything!
I try to calm myself down by listening to the radio, which is nowhere near the level that Vice City was, and some of this music makes me feel even more angry. Another thing I'm sure people complained about in the previous games was the loop system, which I totally understand. While it is annoying to hear the same thing over and over, if you have a strong play listing, you shouldn't have to worry about it. They switch it up in this game, as I don't think any of the music has a specific order it is played, which kinda irritates me since I'd always stick to a station if I knew what was coming up next and I liked it. On here, I have to assume for the best, only to hear fucking Stone Roses. And shit like that gets played constantly over other more desirable songs.
Further driving my anger was the turf wars. On my first playthrough, I had no idea what the hell I was going to be doing next. As soon as I was able to do the turf wars, I figured it was another achievement that I needed to work at, so I went through and took over every piece of Los Santos and claimed it for my gang...even that little tiny area that never spawns gangs...I somehow took that over. The sheer amount of energy that was put forth, not only because it was very easy to die, but because you get attacked randomly and are forced to go defend yourself, even if you're in the process of starting another mission or even worse trying to date a girl. I've got 99 problems...
So guess what happened? I took over the entire area, finish out the Los Santos part of SA, then start Los Fierro. I didn't know it at the time, but towards the end of the game, I had to do the whole turf war shit again...the whole fucking thing. What was the point of the first time, if I'm automatically going to lose everything? Why do this? And I'm in the middle of nowhere? FUCK!
Fortunately, the game picks up slightly after this, no more pesky gangs..or at least not as many. But the layout of these areas is ridiculous. I need to get to a mission point to start a mission, so I'm forced to drive to the middle of nowhere in order to do so, of course while the city regions are absolutely swamped with cars and crappy roads, you're basically alone in these rural areas. Also these roads tend to weave around, in an attempt to tease your impatience. You'll want to make a short cut, but you remember what happened the thousand times you tried this before, your car dipped down into an 80 ft dip, turned over and forced you to walk the rest of the way...or at least until you're "lucky" to find a tractor.
All the while you're walking or driving 5 miles an hour to your destination, you start to feel hungry. CJ's craving for chicken and pizza kicks in, and you better get to some place fast before your hunger starts depleting your muscle mass, which results in certain women not being attracted to you anymore. The recurring stats are annoying as hell, because after I feed him, I get a call to do a damn currier mission. I say no, I look at my stats...a FUCKING MISSION ATTEMPT. Saying "no" is a fucking mission attempt!!!! And then the GF calls, asking me where I'm at.
Once you get to the 3rd city, you'll be sitting pretty good. In order to go any further, you'll be needing to complete pilot training. And my god, does it piss me off. About 80% of the shit I'm forced to "learn" is stuff I will never do in the game, when will I ever need to do a barrel roll?
Of course, I figured being bogged down by that was enough, but I was forced to date this chick in order to get her keycard. Except for the fact that she was never home, it was a pretty good relationship. And this is what annoys me about games like this, why should it be up to them at random to contact me...my time is more valuable than the game's, why should I be forced to wait for her to call, in order to go further with the game? That's all this game does, it stretches shit out, when you begin the game, you've basically got the mental capacity to only say "fuck" a lot, and have the task of learning to drive, shoot a gun, and ride a bike. Claude and Tommy were SO much better than CJ was. I'm suprised they didn't include tying your shoes.
Another departure I didn't care for, was your save points. Most of them are your basic walk in with the same layout in every house. In Vice City, you have multiple places to go that are all great in their own way. You're not lucky enough to do any real estate buying in this game as you did with Tommy. You basically buy a few houses that don't serve much purpose, other than the bum chance you're stuck in the absolute middle of nowhere and you need to evade the cops.
Anyways, moving along towards the end, the town becomes unhinged and I save my game following that last mission I played, which was the second from last mission. BIG MISTAKE. The chaos going on in the city, is saved basically fucking you over if you like to keep the option open to play the last mission at another time because you'll be attacked by random people no matter what you're trying to do.
Well, a lot of this was a reflection on beating this over 5 years ago for the first time. As I'm sitting here, desperately trying to get 50 fares in a row with a taxi, I can't help but think about what obstacles lie ahead for me. Just looking through all the extra things I've got to do in order to make it to 100% makes me think I'd be here for a couple of weeks. So thanks Rockstar. I can't believe after making 2 great GTA games such as 3 and Vice City, that they can screw up this badly. It's an average game, but average doesn't cut it for GTA. I truly hope if Rockstar is working on anything in the future, they take a note from Vice City that less is better.
