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The Dumb & Dumber thread...


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Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
PostPosted: Sep 30 2009 06:26 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Have you ever done anything completely retarded or just something completely boneheaded you and/or your friends still laugh about it.

For instance during my buddies bachelor party we went white water rafting, which I seriously almost died during, then went to a Dave & Busters. The next morning we decided to swing by Punxsatawny to see if we could snag breakfast at the Diner Bill Murray went to in "Groundhog Day".

We searched and searched and decided to go to Punxy Phils. The waitress could tell we weren't from around those parts cause we weren't regulars. We told her our situation and she gave us this look like "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Well when we asked the manager who was giving us our change we asked where the Bed & Breakfast Bill Murray stayed at during Groundhog day he gave us a disgusted look and said they filmed that movie in Illinois. We looked at my buddy who drove and asked if he felt like taking another drive. He said fuck off and walked out. We still laugh our asses off.


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Adrock4
Title: Mostly Lurks, Now
Joined: Sep 13 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Sep 30 2009 08:52 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Funny how he knew it was filmed in Illinois. He must get that question a lot.


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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Sep 30 2009 10:20 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I routinely try to unlock the timeclock during punch out with my house keys.



 
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LowEndLem
Title: Not Gay
Joined: Mar 19 2009
Location: Illinois
PostPosted: Oct 01 2009 01:21 am Reply with quote Back to top

I routinely jump off my very high tire swing.

Yes it hurts like hell, no i don't plan on stopping. It's awesome.


<docinsano>i beat off using save states

<Tako> But, brontosaurs ate plants. It wouldn't be a threat to Jesus.

Why? Fuck you, that's why.
 
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Pandajuice
Title: The Power of Grayskull
Joined: Oct 30 2008
Location: US and UK
PostPosted: Oct 01 2009 03:11 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I stepped on a nail today while doing some demo in my house, and I'm going to risk my life by not going to get a tetanus shot. Pretty boneheaded that.
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Aqua Hedgehog
Joined: Nov 02 2008
PostPosted: Oct 01 2009 07:38 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Early this year, I sent some random kid on MySpace on.nimp.org, and then sent said link to my friend for highlighting pruposes. He actually clicked the link, got viruses, ran a virus scan, told his mom we were attacking some kid on MySpace, then his mom told my mom, then I got my laptop taken away. My laptop broked from hardware malfunction shortly after.
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Chile Guy
Title: Token Latino Otaku
Joined: Apr 14 2008
Location: Fortaleza, Brazil
PostPosted: Oct 01 2009 09:31 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I'm the only guy in my former class in high school who never had a girlfriend. Also, the biggest butt of jokes. They remember I always sulked in a "hilarious and awkward way" aftewards.


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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Oct 02 2009 02:53 am Reply with quote Back to top

Sort of a long story ahead;

Ok, several years ago during my senior year, I decided to pull a senior prank. I'm a bit of a prankster, but in no way would I have ever pulled a stunt for my high school, since I routinely despised everything about that school. The reason I did pull it, was because of all the ideas thrown out there by other people, they were all extremely stupid and completely weak. Such ideas included "hilariously" ordering pizzas for the principal or TPing the school.

Looking back at the previous pranks (or lack there of) pulled by the former classes, I decided to pit it upon myself to do something awesome. My original idea stemmed from the fact that our new Principal was both the principal of the middle school and the principal of our high school and that both school were connected by a large hallway. Since it would've been "tough" to make that walk everyday (although many of us students had to as several classrooms were located in the middle school for some reason) she was allowed to drive around a golf cart and even ran a student's foot over. My idea would be to steal the cart and drive it around, hopefully to get it onto the Interstate and drive at 5 miles an hour. However, once we had the cart, we could not in any way get it out of the building as it was too large, so we ended up abandoning the idea.

Frustrated by my defeat, I spent the end of my Friday at my friend's house drinking. Soon someone had the weird idea to play drunk Scrabble, which wasn't the kind of thing we would normally do, but I guess he had the board ready. As we were messing around with that, I got the idea to vandalize the school sign, which was pretty lame but it was probably the best thing our class had for a prank.

So anyways, we go out and get; bolt cutters, a large Industrial lock, duct tape and a pack of gum. We do a quick drive by of the school and pencil down what the sign said, then make our way back to the house.

While there, we use the scrabble board to word out what we wanted with the letters available on the sign. Given the limited choice, we also used duct tape to make several extra letters ourselves.

Anyways, we head back to the school around 3 AM, use the bolt cutters to cut the lock, open the sign and rearrange the letters to display our message. We close the case, put a very large unbreakable lock on the case and fill the keyhole with chewed gum. We then head back to the house and pass out.

Well, the story isn't over, if it was it wouldn't be THAT memorable. But it just so happens that we had a few special guests at our school the next day.

You see folks, this was around 2003, where the big thing going on in Iowa every four years is the Iowa caucases, an event where presidential candidates come from all over and speak all over the state. Well, on this very special Saturday morning, we had two very special guests; soon to be the Democratic Presidential candidate; John Kerry and Senator Ted Kennedy. According to what others have said, they arrived early and were among the first to spot what was on the sign. Our Principal apparently ran out to the sign, falling in the process and twisting her ankle but getting up and pulling down the flag and throwing it over the sign.

Now, I was not aware of what happened, until Monday. She got over the PA during my 2nd period class and condemned whoever did this ungodly act saying it was the most embarassing display our school has ever shown and that until someone stepped forward, she was going to cancel both Winter Formal and the Senior Prom. Well, since I didn't really give a damn about either, I just sat back and had a good laugh at it. Of course, she later recanted her threats and both events still happened unfortunately, so there wasn't really a happy ending there.

But it still ranks pretty high in my book, in fact soon after that, our school upgraded their security so that an event like that would never happen again. And since I graduated that May, I'm sure it never will.
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Rydog
Title: Dragon Slayer
Joined: Aug 11 2009
Location: Massachusetts
PostPosted: Oct 02 2009 09:30 am Reply with quote Back to top

What the fuck did the sign say? Did I miss that part?
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Oct 02 2009 09:59 am Reply with quote Back to top

Rydog wrote:
What the fuck did the sign say? Did I miss that part?


Honestly, it wasn't memorable enough to mention, simply had something to do with a teacher gangbang and our super intendent eating babies.
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Thorton02
Joined: Mar 13 2009
Location: Arlington
PostPosted: Oct 02 2009 07:25 pm Reply with quote Back to top

One night I was out with my friends, completely wasted. We were messing around at a construction site. As we were leaving, I decided that I could pull a construction sign that was tied to a chain-link fence with metal wires off with my bare hands. I almost cut my index and middle finger off in doing so. I didn't realize this though until a friend saw me and almost threw up. Blood was pouring out of my hand and had completely soaked my jeans from the waist down. I then began to pass out from the loss of blood and they had to drive me to the emergency room.

I still have the scars to this day, but never got the construction sign. The sign read "Keep Out". True Story.


No, I don't think I will fuck Stummies.
 
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Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
PostPosted: Oct 02 2009 08:52 pm Reply with quote Back to top

At the corner of the University campus in town (ironically enough, across the street from my current workplace), there was a fire hydrant that had one of those arms attached to it. It was about midnight, and my cousin and I had been staring at this hydrant for a few solid minutes. Now, this intersection was well known for its amount of police traffic, as the cop shop was just down the street. Of course I was crazy enough to not care. I waited for traffic to die, screwed off the hydrant cap, hit the valve, and watched the waterworks. Then I looked up to see a cop coming up to the intersection.

My cousin and I ran for our fucking lives. We cut through the campus, across the street through the middle school field, ran like shit down a street until we ran through the tunnel under the train tracks, and stealthed it all the way home...across town. We looked it up later and if caught, would've faced a $25-30,000 fine an possible jail time.


Does anybody here have a Ross Rifle?
www.thetwowordsmusic.com
www.myspace.com/rossrifle
 
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Thorton02
Joined: Mar 13 2009
Location: Arlington
PostPosted: Oct 02 2009 10:45 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Ross Rifle wrote:
At the corner of the University campus in town (ironically enough, across the street from my current workplace), there was a fire hydrant that had one of those arms attached to it. It was about midnight, and my cousin and I had been staring at this hydrant for a few solid minutes. Now, this intersection was well known for its amount of police traffic, as the cop shop was just down the street. Of course I was crazy enough to not care. I waited for traffic to die, screwed off the hydrant cap, hit the valve, and watched the waterworks. Then I looked up to see a cop coming up to the intersection.

My cousin and I ran for our fucking lives. We cut through the campus, across the street through the middle school field, ran like shit down a street until we ran through the tunnel under the train tracks, and stealthed it all the way home...across town. We looked it up later and if caught, would've faced a $25-30,000 fine an possible jail time.


Excellent work my friend. There's nothing better than good, clean fun.


No, I don't think I will fuck Stummies.
 
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Oct 02 2009 10:51 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Thorton02 wrote:
Ross Rifle wrote:
At the corner of the University campus in town (ironically enough, across the street from my current workplace), there was a fire hydrant that had one of those arms attached to it. It was about midnight, and my cousin and I had been staring at this hydrant for a few solid minutes. Now, this intersection was well known for its amount of police traffic, as the cop shop was just down the street. Of course I was crazy enough to not care. I waited for traffic to die, screwed off the hydrant cap, hit the valve, and watched the waterworks. Then I looked up to see a cop coming up to the intersection.

My cousin and I ran for our fucking lives. We cut through the campus, across the street through the middle school field, ran like shit down a street until we ran through the tunnel under the train tracks, and stealthed it all the way home...across town. We looked it up later and if caught, would've faced a $25-30,000 fine an possible jail time.


Excellent work my friend. There's nothing better than good, clean fun.

reminds me of the time we tried doing a beer run from a circle K about 3 blocks away from a police station. that was dumb


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
PostPosted: Oct 03 2009 02:11 am Reply with quote Back to top

Ross Rifle wrote:
At the corner of the University campus in town (ironically enough, across the street from my current workplace), there was a fire hydrant that had one of those arms attached to it. It was about midnight, and my cousin and I had been staring at this hydrant for a few solid minutes. Now, this intersection was well known for its amount of police traffic, as the cop shop was just down the street. Of course I was crazy enough to not care. I waited for traffic to die, screwed off the hydrant cap, hit the valve, and watched the waterworks. Then I looked up to see a cop coming up to the intersection.

My cousin and I ran for our fucking lives. We cut through the campus, across the street through the middle school field, ran like shit down a street until we ran through the tunnel under the train tracks, and stealthed it all the way home...across town. We looked it up later and if caught, would've faced a $25-30,000 fine an possible jail time.

You little vandal you.
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Greg the White
Joined: Apr 09 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Oct 05 2009 01:12 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I went to a hotel in Erie in December one time, and left the window open. I forgot that Erie is right next to Lake Erie, and therefore gets very strong, cold wind in the winter. I ended up getting complaints about freezing half the hotel, and I couldn't open up my own door because the wind strength was so intense.


So here's to you Mrs. Robinson. People love you more- oh, nevermind.
 
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Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
PostPosted: Oct 05 2009 01:44 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I live in Erie, and lake effect snow and wind are ridiculous here.
I cut my own hair last night. True Story, but it didn't turn out as bad as I thought.


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