Prolonged sequels nowadays aren't really needed. The feel of the movies we had in the 70's, 80's and early 90's had the feeling for a reason. You can't go back and add to that with today's movie making.

I figure I'll voice my opinion on the Indy flick;

Being an absolute HUGE fan of the Indiana Jones franchise, it was my absolute obligation to check the new movie out. Unlike the Star Wars fan in me, I didn't stop liking the Jones' movies when I was 14 (thanks SW Episode 1). So anyways, I go to see this movie with a good friend of mine, and right away...what's the first thing I hear?

"You ain't nothin but a hound dog...cryin all the time!"

Seriously? Yes, I know the movie is supposed to be based in the fuckin 50's but you don't have to REMIND us literally 2 seconds into the movie. What's next...oh CGI prarie dogs...because those totally helped the story. The fridge scene didn't bother me TOO much, what DID bother me was that Indy only had one close up using his fucking whip and it was a shitty shot. And the "Jonesy" thing wears thin after it's second usage...don't worry...you'll only have to hear it another 80 times.

So we move along, and are introduced to Mutt, who is sort of annoying, but tolerable...no reason to really hate him THAT much yet. And after a few pretty decent STUNTS (remember those kids? before everything was replaced with fake shit?), I am actually kind of enjoying the movie.

Of course, things turn to shit soon after they arrive in South America. We're reintroduced to Marion, who while great in Raiders, absolutely KILLS this movie. It's like the entire movie, she seemed WAY too excited to be getting work again. Also poor John Hurt made me want to put a gun in my mouth. The whole Crystal skull force thing was absolutely laughable, everyone's reaction to it's force was just B quality. Also Marion and Indy seem to be at eachother's necks at one point, followed up 15 seconds later by necking, with absolutely no reason.

So moving along, we get a large car chase, which has the ability to provide us some quality action. Of course, we never get that. What we do get is Mutt having a sword fight on top of a truck with that Russian whore...again I don't like to point out stupid flaws, I mean this IS the franchise that had a guy rip a man's heart out with his bare hand and he lived afterwards, but HOW the fuck does can you have a sword fight on a truck going what looks to be at least 60+ miles an hour. And how does Indy react to his "new" son staring death in the face? He fucking smiles about it. And so does Marion. Keep in mind, this Russian woman is a trained KGB soldier, having your son facing off with her isn't the smartest idea. But the fight is cut short when Mutt gets caught in tree foilage and....has to swing his way...back? How does that work? I mean, let's just pretend he's a natural fucking gymnast...HOW do you catch up to trucks going at top speeds by swinging on vines? Oh, and we get CGI monkeys...don't they just WARM your heart? Where's Mola Ram when you need him?

So then (I think) we get to the "gross creatures" of the movie. Raiders had snakes, Temple had bugs, Crusade had rats. They were more of an annoyance that Indy cleverly avoided. Well, this movie has ants...KILLER ANTS! We know they're killer ants because they kill some poor Russian sap, (I wonder if he had a family?) but seem to be controlled by the Crystal Skull. But I mean, was that REALLY the best that Speilberg could do? Couldn't we have bats or frogs or some shit? I mean killer ants just don't seem to fit with the theme of the earlier movies.

Indy and crew escape and head down river. We're then entertained by them going down 3 waterfalls. Stupid. And I know someone has argued that it was stupid in Temple to use the life raft to escape, but I'll argue...while illogical, it was a cool thing to do, especially given the option to crash into the mountain. The waterfalls on the other hand, just seemed to be thrown in there to keep the audience awake. Also 3? Really?

So the movie drags on and on, we get something about a collapsing tower and some natives...but it's really nothing worth noting. Finally, we get to the big climax...the Mac guy switches sides again and says Jonesy about 6 more times. So the Russians manage to get the aliens to come out..sadly I was REAL disapointed it wasn't E.T. Imagine him putting his finger on the lady's head and setting it ablaze. No, we get some other weird yet generic looking alien. It decides to kill everything and Indy and company are the only ones with enough common sense to flee as the Russians stupidly stand around awaiting their own deaths. No wonder the wall fell. But sadly Mac dies, as I do my very best to hold back the tears. Indy then says something to Mutt that just sounded WAY too fucking weird "Somewhere your grandpa is laughing." Yeah...that just sounds strange.

Another thing I noticed about this movie was...no original theme. Raiders had one, Temple had one, Crusade had one...this movie doesn't have anything, in fact it uses the damn Crusade theme a few times!

So that should be it right? Movie over? No, unfortunately...we're treated to one of the worst god forsaken images anyone growing up with this franchise would see. Indy get married to Marion, so the whole family can follow him on his next adventure. This to me, was just way too stupid. I always envisioned Indy more or less as a more rugged James Bond, willing to cheat, fight dirty, do anything he can to survive. This movie doesn't give you that feeling at all, it more or less feels like trying to establish some sort of closure on the "good" stuff all the while leaving the story open by adding more crap to it. Indy didn't need to get married...yes I know it was the 50's and a child out of wedlock...aww screw it. This movie sucked for being an Indy movie. Fairly decent popcorn flick but NOT an Indy movie by any means.

Tebor wrote:

The Crystal Skulls themselves had a theme. And why is everyone bitching about Indy IV again? It's been over a year. I'd much rather bitch about Rob Zombie's Halloween II which was a sequel AND a remake.

Because I wasn't here a year ago? And I'd probably bitch about the Halloween movies too if I was passionate about them, but I really never cared for any of them. Now if it was "Maniac Cop", there's a franchise to be proud of.

And yeah, it was obvious with the ending that they were planning on having the Jones' family go on more adventures together. Maybe they'll take Sparky the family dog along.

I've got a new formula to go by for Indy movies now;

No Sallah = No Sell-a