So, I'm sitting in bed right now. The wife is asleep next to me, she's menstruating. Not a problem really, I'm not grossed out like you're apparently supposed to be. It just affects her personality slightly, which pisses me off. But hey, a man deals with it.
...except, now the goddamn stupid fucking dog, who ALSO is menstruating, has decided to plop her bleeding ass down right in between us. Fucking bitch.
The smell is driving me mad. I can't shoot the dog though. It's not mine.
Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 5228
Posted:
Aug 30 2009 12:18 pm
Hi. My name's Dave, and I have a positive attitude about menstruation.
The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus
username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
Posted:
Aug 30 2009 01:13 pm
well, your weekend is shot. might as well go fishing/camping
this co-worker has 4 daughters and 1 son. and they all have the same cycle, so, when that time comes around, him and his son just go camping.
Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load
MouthForWar
Title: The People's Champ!
Joined: Apr 03 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 235
Posted:
Aug 30 2009 02:43 pm
Oh god. I'm the same way. My mother, and two older sisters. The sister in the middle is the worst however. It's like Godzilla come her time of the month. My girlfriend is different though. Come her time of the month, she just gets extremely emotional, instead of crabby.
The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus
username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
Posted:
Aug 30 2009 04:49 pm
Dr. Jeebus wrote:
I demand that someone get my reference joke.
took me a minute, but its kids in the hall. also, while googling that line, i found this page on menstruation: http://periodgrl-05.xanga.com/
and heres the clip:
Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load
Miguelius
Title: 83956789546
Joined: Apr 16 2009
Location: Chaco, Argentina
Posts: 420
Posted:
Aug 30 2009 05:08 pm
username wrote:
Dr. Jeebus wrote:
I demand that someone get my reference joke.
took me a minute, but its kids in the hall. also, while googling that line, i found this page on menstruation: http://periodgrl-05.xanga.com/
It says: "Guys know woman menstruate, it's a natural and normal part of being female, and guys love us, so to love us they must also love our periods. "
So using the same line of thought I could say: "I fart, is natural and normal, so my girlfriend have to love my farts too"
I don't think she will......
Dii Infer
Title: Boobie Engineer
Joined: Jun 01 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 653
Posted:
Aug 30 2009 08:35 pm
This reminds of that scene in Anchorman (the Ron Burgundy movie) in which that retarded guy says something along the lines of, "Women can't be news reporters. Bears in hibernation can smell the menstruation."
Yeah, felt like throwing that out.
sig
Teralyx
Title: Master Exploder
Joined: Jun 04 2008
Location: Goldenrod City
Posts: 1419
Posted:
Aug 30 2009 08:41 pm
"I hear their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation."
"You hear that? Bears. Look what you've gotten us into!"
<TheFlamingSchnitzel> Didn't your mom teach you not to punch girls?
<FigNewton> I was too busy /punchin' her/
asbestos_pie
Title: Your mom.
Joined: Aug 03 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 128
Posted:
Aug 30 2009 11:27 pm
This is one of the few reasons to be glad I don't have a girlfriend. I'm pretty hemophobic, which is really weird considering I love gory movies, games and imagery.
Look at the controller
A Nazi with a social degree
A middle-class hero
A rapist with your eyes on me!
JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
Posts: 3475
Posted:
Aug 31 2009 12:19 am
asbestos_pie wrote:
This is one of the few reasons to be glad I don't have a girlfriend. I'm pretty hemophobic, which is really weird considering I love gory movies, games and imagery.
Now that is fucking irony.
There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant.
Jack Slater
Title: Friendly Felon
Joined: May 17 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 706
Posted:
Aug 31 2009 01:05 am
asbestos_pie wrote:
This is one of the few reasons to be glad I don't have a girlfriend. I'm pretty hemophobic, which is really weird considering I love gory movies, games and imagery.
Highly illogical. It's just more lubrication.
Thorton02
Joined: Mar 13 2009
Location: Arlington
Posts: 467
Posted:
Aug 31 2009 09:01 am
Dr. Jeebus wrote:
I demand that someone get my reference joke.
I was hoping to post this joke when I saw the title of the thread.
No, I don't think I will fuck Stummies.
Dii Infer
Title: Boobie Engineer
Joined: Jun 01 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 653
Posted:
Aug 31 2009 11:08 am
ToGdor wrote:
"I hear their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation."
"You hear that? Bears. Look what you've gotten us into!"
YES! You are the man! *high five*
That movie is hilarious.
sig
Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
Posts: 1761
Posted:
Aug 31 2009 01:34 pm
I love when my GF is on the rag.
It means I get BJ's for a week, and don't have to do anything in return.
Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards.
