| Author |
Message |
Optimist With Doubts
Title: Titlating
Joined: Dec 17 2007
Posts: 5042
|
| GPFontaine wrote: |
| Optimist With Doubts wrote: |
| How long do you have to be dating a girl before suggesting you do anal? |
There are two ways that you are going to get anal. Neither has to do with you making a suggestion.
1.) She offers it.
2.) Whoops... |
Excellent!
|
|
|
    |
|
|
scamrock
Title: Space Bastard
Joined: Jan 26 2008
Location: Planet Druidia
Posts: 2392
|
| Burt Reynolds wrote: |
| Optimist With Doubts wrote: |
| How long do you have to be dating a girl before suggesting you do anal? |
Don't suggest it, just surprise her one day. I would say a good month. |
No, no, no. You don't want to wait that long. It all depends on how serious the relationship is. You don't want to ruin a perfectly good relationship you have worked on by all of a sudden attempting anal. If you have prolonged it, your best bet is to get her drunk.
To successfully pull it off you have to introduce her to anal immediately. This way there is little/no risk. If she is offended and dumps you, its not like you wasted a lot of time with her. You just risk a few dates or so, if that. You don't ask, you just try it. If she says no, you know she doesn't like it. Even if she dumps you, unless you were dumb enough to start with anal, at least you scored and maybe got a hummer beforehand.
|
|
|
|
|
|
sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
|
| GPFontaine wrote: |
| ReeperTheSeeker wrote: |
| My man question: What if i have a crush on one twin but the other has an STD, how do i avoid the STDs? |
Twins don't generally share STDs with each other unless they were born with them.
Just take a magic marker and mark the one you don't like. Be sure to leave a large mark on her face. You could write "STD" right on her forehead. That should fix your problem. |
Usually with twins, one is right handed and the other is left. So figure out which hand the clean one uses and pay attention to which hand she jerks you off with. If it's the dirty one doing it, don't stick it in her.
|
 Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
|
|
|
|
Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
Posts: 3129
|
unless you have a 3some your fine with the good twin
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ash Burton
Title: AshRaiser
Joined: Nov 10 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1044
|
I guess the dude with the mace was beaten into a coma because we never heard the glorious story of how he sprayed a man in the face with Mace. First off, my mom carries mace, Secondly? Here is the manswer to what you should say after you spray said dude in the face with mace. "That was a real bitch thing to do man, Im sorry." I mean, cmon, take your beating like a man and try to get in a good shot, if your gonna bring a weapon try a broad sword or some sweet knuckles made of iron.
|
| joshwoodzy wrote: |
Ash is probably just home humping his SNES collection.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
| Marine79 wrote: |
| I guess the dude with the mace was beaten into a coma because we never heard the glorious story of how he sprayed a man in the face with Mace. First off, my mom carries mace, Secondly? Here is the manswer to what you should say after you spray said dude in the face with mace. "That was a real bitch thing to do man, Im sorry." I mean, cmon, take your beating like a man and try to get in a good shot, if your gonna bring a weapon try a broad sword or some sweet knuckles made of iron. |
This is the manswers thread. Broadswords are for sissy men.
The following weapons are acceptable tools of destruction:
* Claymore
* Double Sided Battle Axe
* Flail
* Spiked Shield
* Most .50 caliber handguns
* Spear Gun
* Trident
|
|
|
|
|
|
mtgrnwdstar
Title: The guy from Chicago
Joined: Jun 21 2008
Location: Chicago/DeKalb, IL
Posts: 157
|
| GPFontaine wrote: |
This is the manswers thread. Broadswords are for sissy men.
The following weapons are acceptable tools of destruction:
* Claymore
* Double Sided Battle Axe
* Flail
* Spiked Shield
* Most .50 caliber handguns
* Spear Gun
* Trident |
Something that is called a "flail", no matter how destructive it may be, should be disqualified from consideration as a "manly" weapon.
I have a question. Say you're having sex, and in the heat of the moment, she tells you not to pull out when you come (you're wearing a condom). After you come, you find out that the condom broke.
Who is responsible for paying for the "Morning After" pill? You, the chick, or do you split?
|
|
|
 |
|
|
sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
|
| mtgrnwdstar wrote: |
| GPFontaine wrote: |
This is the manswers thread. Broadswords are for sissy men.
The following weapons are acceptable tools of destruction:
* Claymore
* Double Sided Battle Axe
* Flail
* Spiked Shield
* Most .50 caliber handguns
* Spear Gun
* Trident |
Something that is called a "flail", no matter how destructive it may be, should be disqualified from consideration as a "manly" weapon.
I have a question. Say you're having sex, and in the heat of the moment, she tells you not to pull out when you come (you're wearing a condom). After you come, you find out that the condom broke.
Who is responsible for paying for the "Morning After" pill? You, the chick, or do you split? |
I would tell her to pay for it or else it's going to cost her a lot more in the long run raising a child as a single mother.
|
Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
|
|
|
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
| sidewaydriver wrote: |
| mtgrnwdstar wrote: |
| GPFontaine wrote: |
This is the manswers thread. Broadswords are for sissy men.
The following weapons are acceptable tools of destruction:
* Claymore
* Double Sided Battle Axe
* Flail
* Spiked Shield
* Most .50 caliber handguns
* Spear Gun
* Trident |
Something that is called a "flail", no matter how destructive it may be, should be disqualified from consideration as a "manly" weapon.
I have a question. Say you're having sex, and in the heat of the moment, she tells you not to pull out when you come (you're wearing a condom). After you come, you find out that the condom broke.
Who is responsible for paying for the "Morning After" pill? You, the chick, or do you split? |
I would tell her to pay for it or else it's going to cost her a lot more in the long run raising a child as a single mother. |
Manswer 1: What the fuck is a condom?
Manswer 2: Shovel - check, duct tape - check, rope - check, gloves - check?
I would be happy to have a kid with my wife. I would prefer to wait a year or two, but if it happens, it happens.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ash Burton
Title: AshRaiser
Joined: Nov 10 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1044
|
O.K. Broadsword is a little bad, but better than mace. Unless he meant the kind of mace you can swing at people and crush their heads like Braveheart, because that kind of mace is acceptable.
|
| joshwoodzy wrote: |
Ash is probably just home humping his SNES collection.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
Posts: 5672
|
| Marine79 wrote: |
| O.K. Broadsword is a little bad, but better than mace. Unless he meant the kind of mace you can swing at people and crush their heads like Braveheart, because that kind of mace is acceptable. |
But mtg doesn't want to use a swinging mace, a.k.a. a flail. Both are equally awesome weapons to bring to a fight. I perfer grenades though, or random home made nunchucks.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
docinsano
Title: Boner King
Joined: Jan 08 2008
Location: Mpls Mini Soda
Posts: 2314
|
We're talking about weapons? My arsenal would include:
Two Machetes
Two Tee Ball bats, wood, with barbed wire wrapped around it
two .45 cal pistols
two side handle batons
one cricket bat
25 knives of assorted shapes and sizes
set of 300 throwing knives
crossbow rifle style with 500 bolts
gunpowder and all that good fun explosive stuff
all i can think of right now.... not even sure what this thread was about, i just saw lists of gear.... and weapons....
|
|
|
|
|
|
mtgrnwdstar
Title: The guy from Chicago
Joined: Jun 21 2008
Location: Chicago/DeKalb, IL
Posts: 157
|
| Douche McCallister wrote: |
| Marine79 wrote: |
| O.K. Broadsword is a little bad, but better than mace. Unless he meant the kind of mace you can swing at people and crush their heads like Braveheart, because that kind of mace is acceptable. |
But mtg doesn't want to use a swinging mace, a.k.a. a flail. Both are equally awesome weapons to bring to a fight. I perfer grenades though, or random home made nunchucks. |
I should clarify...
The weapon itself is cool, but I just don't think the name "flail" does it justice.
Mace is a better moniker for it.
Random homemade nunchucks...ah, memories...*reminiscing about making nunchucks out of a jump rope and PVC pipe and whacking older brother in the nads with it*
|
|
|
|
|
|
Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
Posts: 5672
|
| mtgrnwdstar wrote: |
I should clarify...
The weapon itself is cool, but I just don't think the name "flail" does it justice.
Mace is a better moniker for it.
Random homemade nunchucks...ah, memories...*reminiscing about making nunchucks out of a jump rope and PVC pipe and whacking older brother in the nads with it* |
PVC pipe was awesome because my friends dad was a plumber, ahh the whistle when you'd swing them around, and the look of your friends you were sneaking up on. "What the hell is that? OMG!" *Crack* "OH MY GOD IT STINGS" good times...
Also please remove your clear attempt at mocking me with your stupid Bears catch against my yet to win Lions, or you will be the next victim of some good PVChucks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
mtgrnwdstar
Title: The guy from Chicago
Joined: Jun 21 2008
Location: Chicago/DeKalb, IL
Posts: 157
|
| Douche McCallister wrote: |
| mtgrnwdstar wrote: |
I should clarify...
The weapon itself is cool, but I just don't think the name "flail" does it justice.
Mace is a better moniker for it.
Random homemade nunchucks...ah, memories...*reminiscing about making nunchucks out of a jump rope and PVC pipe and whacking older brother in the nads with it* |
PVC pipe was awesome because my friends dad was a plumber, ahh the whistle when you'd swing them around, and the look of your friends you were sneaking up on. "What the hell is that? OMG!" *Crack* "OH MY GOD IT STINGS" good times...
Also please remove your clear attempt at mocking me with your stupid Bears catch against my yet to win Lions, or you will be the next victim of some good PVChucks. |
I like PVC pipe because it hurts like a bitch, but it's not capable of doing any crippling damage.
You support that team? Man, I'm sorry. I can't dog the Lions because they already make themselves look foolish enough without other team's fan's chiming in. I feel sincere sympathy for you, dude. Talk about a snake-bit franchise.
But be careful. If you try to attack me, I can improvise. I'm like MacGyver, only black. Except I'm not black. So I'm kinda like MacGyver after all. Beware.
|
|
|
|
|
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
| Marine79 wrote: |
| O.K. Broadsword is a little bad, but better than mace. Unless he meant the kind of mace you can swing at people and crush their heads like Braveheart, because that kind of mace is acceptable. |
That would be a FLAIL.
It is a common mistake to call a flail a mace, but a mace is a rod with a weighted end. It differs from an axe or hammer because it is symmetrical at its striking points. A flail is a rod with a chain/rope and a weighted end (sometimes with spikes).
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
Posts: 7287
|
Personally, I love the morningstar. A nailbat would be a close Modern equivalent, though nothing beats one made entirely out of a heavy metal like iron.
|
"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!" |
|
|
|
|
DoctorOrpheus
Title: Title: Title: Title
Joined: Sep 18 2008
Posts: 258
|
| lordsathien wrote: |
| Personally, I love the morningstar. A nailbat would be a close Modern equivalent, though nothing beats one made entirely out of a heavy metal like iron. |
I prefer just grabbing a chunk of wood and driving a nail through it. You instantly transform a simple item used for carpentry into a deadly weapon. Though I suppose using a bat instead of lumber would prove to give less splinters.
EDIT: Also, my girlfriend's birthday is in 3 weeks. We have been together for 2 and a half years. Need manly suggestion that does not already involve giving her my dick for the day - that is already a given.
|
|
|
|
|
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
|
|
|
|
Ash Burton
Title: AshRaiser
Joined: Nov 10 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1044
|
Morning star...Winner. If any weapon is to be the chosen one it is that which is named after the devil.
|
| joshwoodzy wrote: |
Ash is probably just home humping his SNES collection.
|
|
|
|
|
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
A morning star would be a mace with spikes. I suppose we can allow it. Though I don't give full credit since badder weapons exist.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TheRoboSleuth
Title: Sleuth Mark IV
Joined: Aug 08 2006
Location: The Gritty Future
Posts: 2739
|
Better than a broadsword is a Claymore or a Flamberg. Vikings have a monopoly on giant manly ancient weapons.
Modern weapons you have "rustic manly" choice of bat with nails and a double barreled shotgun. Soldier manly see "Commando".
Cricket bats are manly if you think british is manly AKA not since the romans visited.
Don't get your girlfriend the Sex in the City boxset. You will have to watch it with her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
LOL
Flamberg good call Robot.
And Sex in the City gets them in the mood (most of the time).
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tyop
Title: Grammar Nazi
Joined: May 04 2008
Location: Sauerkrautland
Posts: 1414
|
The manliest weapon of all is a sharp mind.
No wait, that's for sissies.
|
|
|
|
|
|
username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16136
|
manliest weapon? jeet kune do
|
| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
