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Posted: Jul 17 2007 04:04 pm

Jesus, I hate the crappy ones. They taste like pickled shit.

Posted: Jul 17 2007 04:09 pm

i was eating a jar of month old midget dills the other night. i bit into one pickle and it was just mush. i decided i'de chew it up and just swallow it, but it was too much to handle and i had to spit it out.

Posted: Jul 17 2007 04:15 pm

One time when I was 12, I opened up a can of Slice and poured into a glass. When I did, I dead dragonfly came out with the soda. The only reason I poured into a glass was that it was warm and needed ice. If the can had been cold, I would have ended up with a mouth full of dead bug.

Posted: Jul 17 2007 04:21 pm

Did you end up drinkin' it anyway? 'cause that's weird that a dead bug came out of a tight-sealed can of soda.

Posted: Jul 17 2007 04:33 pm

Nah, I didn't.

It's actually not that weird. The bug probably got into the bottling plant, smelled the sugar, went after it and drowned in the sugary soda.

At our block parties, we used to put coffee cans filled sugar water by the curb to keep bees away.

Posted: Jul 17 2007 05:04 pm

Once i was drinking mountain dew outside and i took a swig. i felt a prickly sensation on my tongue. thinking it was just the bubbles i continued to enjoy the dewy taste. turns out it was a bee and it stung me on my tongue.

Posted: Jul 17 2007 06:27 pm

Once, I crack open an egg on the frying pan. And, when I went to pour it into the pan, instead of the familar white and yellow, I was greeted by something bluish-green and slimey coming out.

I couldn't eat eggs for about 5 months after that happened.

Posted: Jul 17 2007 08:11 pm

Gross!

I bit into a store brand donut and a fake fingernail fell out, that was pretty fucking gross.

Posted: Jul 17 2007 09:12 pm

What exactly is a fake fingernail, and how do I tell the difference between those and real ones?

Posted: Jul 17 2007 09:20 pm

Joined: Jun 18 2007 Posts: 54

I remember in elementary we went to some zoo and while we were in the bird area a bird decided to take a piss right above me Confused

Posted: Jul 17 2007 09:37 pm

In 8th grade, my French class took a 5 day trip to Quebec. One of the places we went was a zoo, you know, cuz we couldn't have fucking done that back in Massachusetts. Rolling Eyes

Anyway, the day we went, all the animals were fucking. All of them. Our teacher was not pleased. Ever seen a polar bear give it to another polar bear doggystyle? It's hilarious.

Posted: Jul 17 2007 11:15 pm

Syd Lexia wrote:

In 8th grade, my French class took a 5 day trip to Quebec. One of the places we went was a zoo, you know, cuz we couldn't have fucking done that back in Massachusetts. Rolling Eyes

Anyway, the day we went, all the animals were fucking. All of them. Our teacher was not pleased. Ever seen a polar bear give it to another polar bear doggystyle? It's hilarious.

Syd, in accordance with Rule 34, someone is registering the domain name polarbeardoggystyle.com
Also, in accordance with the FWSE, sooner or later, someone will find your site by typing in "polar bears fucking" or some variant thereof.
My story: I remember one time, my family and I were on a road trip, we see two dogs bangin' doggystyle. The one on top was black and the one on bottom was white. Me and my brother start laughing like crazy. To this day, I am laughing about it, which is making it tough to type this.

Joined: Jun 18 2007 Posts: 54

Whenever I take my dogs to get groomed they spend the next two days trying to hump each other (they're both male)

Posted: Jul 18 2007 08:35 am

Didn't someone post here a long while back saying they found like a dime in their can of soda?

Posted: Jul 19 2007 03:02 am

I made a post about this months ago, but I was in History class on Martin Luther King Day, and I was like (sarcastically): "Martin Luther King Day, stupid Americans get the day off" and then this crazy bitch ahead of me was all "I'm American, you think I'm stupid??" and then she left class. I was completely shocked. 15 minutes later, she came back and asked the teacher to grab her stuff then she bailed. On Memorial Day, I figured enu\ough time had passed so I said to her, "Hey isn't it a holiday in the states today?" We had a good laugh, but she didn't know what holiday it was.

WTF??

Posted: Jul 19 2007 03:07 am

I got another one! Just a few weeks after Virginia Tech, at the end of the day, our principal announced that it was a lockdown. We all figured it was a practice drill...until we saw the helicoptors. 20 cop cars and over 200 cops from our town and a neighbouring community showed up adn surrounded the school. We were sitting around cracking jokes about the tv movie they'd undoubtedly make, and of course I really had to pee. They finally let us go at 4 pm. Turns out it was my friend and his buddy playing with western-style silver revolver capguns. They even had the orange stoppers, but someone called it in. The paper was full of letters from people with opinions for weeks. They ended up getting expelled and doing community service.

Posted: Jul 19 2007 06:18 am

One time I had to buy this homeless guy a drink so that he'd give me a TV remote so that I could use it to distract a pimp.

Oh wait, that was Leisure Suit Larry. Nevermind.

Posted: Jul 20 2007 05:32 pm

I was just at Taco Bell with 3 other friends and we were just sitting around in our booth eating and messing around. I guess we were laughing loudly, but nothing to loud and were just having a good time. Anyway, right in the middle of it some person who was literally retarded comes up to us and goes, "can I help you"? We just told her we were fine and she goes, "Well, you seem to be laughing a lot...are you laughing at me"? She said it loud enough for every person in the place to hear her and we tell her we weren't, and we really weren't! Than she just stood there staring at us for a little while than walked away. After that every person in the whole place was staring at us and watched us walk out because we left a couple minutes later. Every one in there probably thought we were complete assholes, even though we hadn't even noticed that girl until she walked up to us.

Posted: Jul 20 2007 06:10 pm

well... i dont know if i have a WTF moment... i can say that i been banned from a bar called the kaddy korner... and i been banned from best buy... supposedly the court says its every best buy in the country (lol) but i keep going to the same one...

what else? i know other crazy shit has happened... but i gotta get into a writing mood to talk about them...

Posted: Jul 20 2007 06:31 pm

I almost choked on a double cheeseburger because I was laughing loudly in a McDonalds with some friends. We were making fun of Parkinsons disease.

Posted: Jul 20 2007 07:16 pm

I almost made SOMEONE ELSE (*cough* Char *cough*) choke on a double cheeseburger because we were making fun of people with Parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's working at a fast food joint.

I also confused Dennis Rodman with Dennis Miller. LMAO I'll never forget that day!

Posted: Jul 20 2007 07:23 pm

Dude, Michael J. Fox.

Posted: Jul 21 2007 09:59 pm

I just recently had someone ask what my Bob-Omb tattoo was. She saw it and asked if it was a helicopter. I mean, what the fuck? I know not everyone has played Mario and knows what a Bob-Omb is, but a helicopter? They don't even look similar!

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

Tishwitch wrote:

I'm not trying to be rude, but what relevance does this possibly have with pop culture? I know you really love talking about how high you are, and apparently now how high your mom is, but do you think anyone here appreciates these stories?

I do. I appreciate them jsut about as much as I appreciate fifteen page arguments about raising kids on my pop culture board.