The iPad does not have an SD card reader. It does not have USB ports. It does not have disk drives. It does not multi-task.

So, you paying $1200 for a laptop that can't do basic things that even the crappiest laptops on the market can do. It's a giant iPhone without the phone capabilties.

The great thing about the iPhone is that:

1. It's a phone with a shitload of extra functionality
2. It fits in your pocket.

You can say the same thing about iPod Touch, just replace "phone" with "iPod" in the first point. The iPad does not fit in your pocket. It is essentially a laptop that is missing all the key features that make it useful for school and business applications. Want to type up your Master thesis on your iPad? Well, you can't print it out. You'll have to e-mail it to yourself and print it out from a better platform. And you'll probably have to reformat the entire paper. Want to design a business presentation on your iPad? Unless everyone in your client's boardroom has iPads, you won't be able to share it. You won't be able to hook it up to a monitor via USB and show it to the entire boardroom at once, because the iPad doesn't have USB.

The iPad is a shitty toy designed for vapid idiots. All week on Twitter, celebrities have been sucking the iPad's dick. They should be sucking mine. Mine's bigger, it has more functionality, I can multi-task, and I provide anti-virus protection.