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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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I will be running for President in 2016.
It will be my first major venture into politics, but I figure that starting at the top is the right place to be.
I hope you will all vote for me.
My motto will be, I am honest, and you may not like that, but it is better than me fucking lying to you.
Things I will focus on:
- Non-Fuel Based Automobiles
- English as the only official American Language. (All teachers at all levels of education must be able to pass a speech proficiency test).
- No porn bill boards on highways
- American porn websites will be shifted to .xxx
- Movie trailers will not be allowed as television advertisements. They will instead be offered online and viewed on demand.
- Assisted suicide will be legalized
- The death penalty will be removed 100%. Criminals will instead be put into the jail that was in the movie Face Off. It costs millions to fry someone, it costs only $300,000 to give them 3 squares a day.
- All blue laws would be removed and a new set of purple laws will be added as federal laws rather than state laws.
- Electoral votes will be eliminated, popular vote will be all that is allowed.
- We will liberate Chilliwack, BC, Canada
- All states and republics will be removed. There will just be America.
- All police will spend one hour a week with a social worker to get out their issues.
- All police on traffic duty will be monitored by internal affairs at least 10% of the time without their knowledge. Slacking off will get you banned from getting the OT.
- The supreme court appointed positions will be 10 year positions, no longer.
- Mcdonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, and KFC will be illegal.
- The legal age for consensual sex will be 16. There will be a rule that states that two individuals who are of ages no more than 4 years apart cannot be charged with statutory rape.
- Gas will be sold at a fixed price of $1. Since there will be no states, there will be no tolls, and no gas tax.
- Sales Tax will be the only tax and it will be set at 10%. There is NO maximum and there are no write offs. This will work because the more you spend, the more you owe on tax. The rich pay a lot more this way.
- Food will not be taxed.
- Social security is gone. Sorry, you are fucked if you don't have it and you need it.
- Children under 18 who have any form of attention or anxiety disorder are not allowed to subscribe to MMOs.
- Anyone who abuses animals will be put into the polar bear cage at the zoo. This is not the death penalty, because there is a chance they could get out... maybe.
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The list isn't done, but I am tired and need to take a break.
I need to also cover the things I will not be going over. A future post will have the rest.
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Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
Posts: 3207
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Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit
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Char Aznable
Title: Char Classicâ„¢
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
Posts: 7542
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Hey, I fucking like KFC. You sure don't have my vote.
And why not just make death via one-man firing squad legal?
And we need states. How else will I identify where the retards come from?
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Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
Posts: 4844
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Dude, don't bother with Chilliwack. By 2016, there won't be much left. But if you really want it, there won't be much of a fight, though keep in mind that it is the 7th most dangerous city in Canada.
Other than that, I kinda agree. I'd become a citizen to vote for you, but you should have it tied up. Also, might I recommend changing the national anthem to Paradise City?
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Valdronius
Moderator
Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 4459
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ross_rifle113 wrote: |
Also, might I recommend changing the national anthem to Paradise City? |
Anything would be better than their current anthem.
</Cattivo baiting>
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Klimbatize wrote: |
A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd. |
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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Murdar Machene wrote: |
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy... |
What did I write that was Racist?
Murdar Machene wrote: |
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit |
I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.
I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.
List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary.
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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Char Aznable wrote: |
Hey, I fucking like KFC. You sure don't have my vote.
And why not just make death via one-man firing squad legal?
And we need states. How else will I identify where the retards come from? |
I may amend my statement and allow those fast food restaurants as long as people who eat there agree to pay 20% tax on their purchases. The health care coverage needs to be paid for somehow, and people who eat healthy aren't going to be penalized any more.
While I am not a big believer in the Death Penalty from a moral perspective, my main reason for not allowing it is because of the legal cost that goes into it. The price difference between the methods is insignificant compared to the price to get to that point.
I can make an arrangement however, if a person is found to be worthy of the death penalty, the state will no longer pay for it, if a private entity would like to pay the legal fees, there is nothing wrong with that.
In my first term states will still exist, however they will not have state laws. They will still get funding.
All laws in the country will be the same no matter where you are.
There will be a single US Bar association and all lawyers will need to take it.
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Kubo
Joined: Aug 24 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
Posts: 1062
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Valdronius wrote: |
ross_rifle113 wrote: |
Also, might I recommend changing the national anthem to Paradise City? |
Anything would be better than their current anthem.
</Cattivo baiting> |
Awww, I dig our anthem. I used to think that the "gave proof through the night that our flag was still there" line was badass when we sang it in elementary school.
Having played hockey against a few Canadian junior teams in college, I have a new-found appreciation for the Canadian one too. Although I still can't sing anything beyond "Oh, Canada..."
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Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us. |
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TheRoboSleuth
Title: Sleuth Mark IV
Joined: Aug 08 2006
Location: The Gritty Future
Posts: 2739
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Fat people cost less because they die early. Its people in nursing homes that are a problem.
Nice research buddy.
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Cattivo
Joined: Apr 14 2006
Location: Lake Michigan
Posts: 3332
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Valdronius wrote: |
</Cattivo baiting> |
Death to Canada! You guys are lucky we didn't have a good army yet in 1812, or else you would be our servants.
I hope I've fulfilled my obligation.
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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RobotGumshoe wrote: |
Fat people cost less because they die early. Its people in nursing homes that are a problem.
Nice research buddy. |
What... you read:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22995659/
We live in America, not the Netherlands.
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Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
Posts: 4844
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Oh Cattivo, I would be pissed except apparently I'll become an American citizen after GP enters office....
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Valdronius
Moderator
Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 4459
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Cattivo wrote: |
I hope I've fulfilled my obligation. |
Admirably.
Though it's pretty sad when a bunch of ragtag canucks will force you to go to another -continent- to get slaves.
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Klimbatize wrote: |
A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd. |
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Cattivo
Joined: Apr 14 2006
Location: Lake Michigan
Posts: 3332
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Anybody watch HBO on Sunday? The new John Adams miniseries had a few choice criticisms of slavery at the birth ofAmerica.
That program is looking very good. It's based on that biography by the historian David McCullough. They've treated the subject of independence very well, showing how it wasn't a foregone conclusion. That's why I love history so much, to show why things happened a certain way, when they could have easily gone another, except for luck or one leader's decision.
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Kubo
Joined: Aug 24 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
Posts: 1062
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Cattivo wrote: |
Anybody watch HBO on Sunday? The new John Adams miniseries had a few choice criticisms of slavery at the birth ofAmerica.
That program is looking very good. It's based on that biography by the historian David McCullough. They've treated the subject of independence very well, showing how it wasn't a foregone conclusion. That's why I love history so much, to show why things happened a certain way, when they could have easily gone another, except for luck or one leader's decision. |
I saw it... thought it was amazing. Paul Giamatti is great as Adams, and Wilkinson is dead on as Franklin.
Really dig the way that it doesn't present the Revolution as a moral realism... I actually felt bad for the British soldiers on trial.
Anyway, really good miniseries, I'll be sure to watch the rest as well.
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Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24869
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GPFontaine wrote: |
No porn bill boards on highways |
When do you see ever porn billboards? I wish I saw porn billboards. That would kickass if I was driving down 128 and then suddenly there's a giant billboard of Bree Olson eating out Paulina James. Hell, why don't we have that? All the billboards I see tell me that I should "Eat at McDonald's" or that I should "Help the Homeless" or that I should "have heatlth insurance". Fuck you billboard, you can't tell me how to live my life!
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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Syd Lexia wrote: |
GPFontaine wrote: |
No porn bill boards on highways |
When do you see ever porn billboards? I wish I saw porn billboards. That would kickass if I was driving down 128 and then suddenly there's a giant billboard of Bree Olson eating out Paulina James. Hell, why don't we have that? All the billboards I see tell me that I should "Eat at McDonald's" or that I should "Help the Homeless" or that I should "have heatlth insurance". Fuck you billboard, you can't tell me how to live my life! |
RT 91 & 84 in CT.
They put little fuzzy dots over private parts, but they ae Ads for sex shops and strip clubs.
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Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
Posts: 5672
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Where did you get your Death Penalty information? I have a Panel Discussion i'm working on and our Policy question is what should be done about Recidivism for prisoners. That would seem like a good read.
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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Douche McCallister wrote: |
Where did you get your Death Penalty information? I have a Panel Discussion i'm working on and our Policy question is what should be done about Recidivism for prisoners. That would seem like a good read. |
I did a research paper on it in 8th grade. That would be back in 1994
But here is some more current information.
A quick search on the web will bring up lots of newer facts.
http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/article.php?did=108#financialfacts
It looks like it can cost upwards of 250 million per case.
How much it costs to keep someone alive in prison per year:
http://www.uscourts.gov/newsroom/prisoncost.html
~$24,000
The youngest a person has ever been charged as an adult in court is 10 years old.
Life expectancy in prison is usualy reduced by ~50% or so.
The average American lifespan is ~77 years old.
So, 77/2 = 38.5 - 10 = 28.5 years X 24,000 = $684,000
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Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
Posts: 3207
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GPFontaine wrote: |
Murdar Machene wrote: |
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy... |
What did I write that was Racist?
Murdar Machene wrote: |
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit |
I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.
I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.
List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary. |
Here's an issue I'd like to see you handle as president: Shutting up
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Mario Buster:Buster Mario
Joined: Dec 18 2007
Posts: 50
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GPFontaine wrote: |
Murdar Machene wrote: |
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy... |
What did I write that was Racist?
Murdar Machene wrote: |
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit |
I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.
I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.
List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary. |
You definitely have the makings of a president. My jaw dropped at how you actually seriously replied to that.
It really makes we wonder, is he serious? How can someone post a list of blatantly hopeless, radical, stupid ideas that demonstrates a total absence of knowledge on U.S government. But you really did it, it was pretty sub-par as far as humor goes when I was reading it, and wasn't taking it seriously because of the sheer stupidity involved, but shit, you gave a SERIOUS, GENUINE reply to criticism. You asked for constructive criticism.
There is nothing constructive you can do to your list, it is like a termite-infested shithole with a styrofoam foundation, leaning to one side that happens to be inches from the edge of a cliff.
That being said, I enjoyed your post, never give up.
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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Murdar Machene wrote: |
GPFontaine wrote: |
Murdar Machene wrote: |
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy... |
What did I write that was Racist?
Murdar Machene wrote: |
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit |
I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.
I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.
List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary. |
Here's an issue I'd like to see you handle as president: Shutting up |
Murdar, perhaps you wish that I were nt writing? I haven't been speaking.
So if you had no eyes would this problem be solved?
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Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
Posts: 3207
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GPFontaine wrote: |
Murdar Machene wrote: |
GPFontaine wrote: |
Murdar Machene wrote: |
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy... |
What did I write that was Racist?
Murdar Machene wrote: |
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit |
I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.
I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.
List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary. |
Here's an issue I'd like to see you handle as president: Shutting up |
Murdar, perhaps you wish that I were nt writing? I haven't been speaking.
So if you had no eyes would this problem be solved? |
Here's an issue I'd like to see you handling on the forum: Shutting up
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Mario Buster:Buster Mario
Joined: Dec 18 2007
Posts: 50
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GPFontaine wrote: |
Murdar, perhaps you wish that I were nt writing? I haven't been speaking.
So if you had no eyes would this problem be solved? |
Splitting hairs: To argue about an inconsequential and trivial aspect of an issue
Your political skills are in perfect form
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Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
Posts: 5672
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I may just be assuming things but could Buster possibly be Murdar's alter-ego?
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