Not sure if this should go in General, Feedback, or Games, but eh.

I've tried to track down ROMs of a few of the more hilarious games I found reviewed on this site, but I found myself intrigued when today I found Hammerin' Harry - but for the NES. I decided to pull it. It would be surely interesting to see some of the graphics and gameplay differences, I thought. As it turned out, I was amused enough to write a minor article about it.

Differences and/or things not mentioned in Syd's review:
- Bosses are different. I've only got through Level 2, but I KNOW the boss of Level 1 was different. He seems to be a guy about 2-3 times Harry's size (who isn't?) who throws giant deadly pizza at you from a cieling above. You could use the upward attack, which Harry, like Son Goku/Soaring Eagle, has apparently stolen from Link, despite that it can't be very damaging with a hammer. However, it's much easier to use the roll attack found near the very beginning of the level. Oddly, the roll attack powerup looks like a carrot and/or chili. I try not to read into that.
- The aforementioned roll attack. Over the course of the game, I have found six powerups. The giant hammer of death and the met-hat mentioned in Syd's article are still there, though oddly, the hat of defense does not change Harry's sprite in the NES game. The roll attack and the giant hammer occupy the same powerup slot (more on this later), and getting one replaces the other if you have it. Also I found a timer and a bottle of Robitussin, which also occupy the same slot and are used with Select. The bottle restores one of Harry's four life bars and the clock apparently restores some time on the timer. Also there's a pair of boots which turns Harry blue. This noticably increased Harry's movement speed and tripled his jump height. There's your answer, Syd.
- Powerup slots and icons. The slots are four little squares at the bottom of the screen which fill up with icons when you pick stuff up. Harry has three booster slots. One is for either the big hammer of the roll attack, the second is for the met hat, and the third is for the blue boots. The fourth slot is for a usable item.
- Bonus rounds. Once you complete a round (I'm not sure if there's any criteria for this), you may see a little girl get kidnapped by various things. You will then be invited into a minigame based on the level you just completed. For example, level 2's bonus round's star is some sort of giant purple mole who you play whack-a-mole with. In all these rounds, the girl is suspended from the cieling. YOu can hit her. Depending on your score for the round, she will give you an item at the end of it. I still have no idea who the girl is, by the way, but one thing is clear: she got a hell of a lot more time in the NES game than she did in whichever version Syd played.

More later as I progress through the game. Also, I'll make pictures. Later!

Sadly, the emulator I use does not have screenshot support. For this I anger at it. However, I am pleased to announce that a) the end boss of the Rusty Nailers HQ is the boss's mutant ninja goth secretary, and that b) Harry gets hurt when he touches running water. Yeah, that's right, Harry's a vampire. Fear him. Fortunately, he can use his hammer as an umbrella, as it is prove against everything up to and including falling candle wax.

Additionally, here is a transcript of the original conversation between Harry and Mr. Greasehead:
Boss: I was blinded by the lure of money. What have I done in my life?
Harry: You are not too late in changing your mind yet. There is more to life than getting rich.
*harry hits the boss over the head with his hammer*
Boss: Thank you Harry. From now on I will reform and work hard.

Hammerin' Harry: Now with 50% less nonsensical hammring and a full serving more of puns!

The final shot, by the way, has a lot fewer characters. In fact, it's just Harry and Mysterious Bondage Girl. Again, at least she got more time in the NES than in the other game. I am wondering why he's still holding his hammer while they share a moment.

There's also some bullshit shot of Harry saying "This fight is not over yet. The next round waits for you!!" COUGHZELDARIPOFFCOUGH. I'm pretty sure that the enemies are now soaking up double damage though. Punks.

VirtuaNES. I'm trying to run it off a portable drive, so I was looking for a small program. Apparently part of the reason for its small size is lack of some features. By the way, one last thing I forgot to mention - you can be God. Well, sorta. In the final level, I found another usable item which looked like some form of lightning bolt. When I used it, it flashed the screen and killed every enemy on it, presumably by sending them into epileptic fits.