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LordHuffnPuff
Title: Mahna Mahna
Joined: Jan 12 2009
Location: Fairyland
Posts: 571
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| SoldierHawk wrote: |
| <frog joke> |
I know that one slightly differently, wherein the woman's name is Patricia Whack and the frog additionally says that his father is Mick Jagger and is friends with the bank president/manager. So the punchline is "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man's a rolling stone."
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 More information may be found here. |
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Mr Takosuke
Title: :bell:
Joined: Jun 30 2010
Location: Whore Island
Posts: 180
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Did you hear that Mr. Clean got arrested. They found some dirt on him.
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Not Sure
Too Good At 2D Games
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Dec 03 2007
Posts: 1767
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Mr. Bomberman
2009 Forum Champion
Title: (still) token black.
Joined: Jan 27 2006
Location: Home of the lost towers
Posts: 4543
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Bill Gates slept with a chick once and afterwards she said "no wonder about your company name, you're really micro soft!"
Anyone? Anyone?
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Xbox Live: HazNobody, pronounced "HAz". | Haven't went to IRC yet? Go! #sydlexia @ DALnet. | Y'all should play some Super Robot Wars J (hey that rhymes!) | yeah I'm back who gives a shit |
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Katec
Title: Lady
Joined: Nov 26 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 10
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Two parasitic bacteria walk into a bar. The bar tender says, "We don't serve your kind here!" And the bacteria say, "Well, you're a bad host..." Hahaha...
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Lame. Exactly. |
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Mr Takosuke
Title: :bell:
Joined: Jun 30 2010
Location: Whore Island
Posts: 180
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A man with jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Ok I'll let you stay, but don't start anything."
EDIT: A porkchop walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve food here."
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Captain_Pollution
Title: Hugh
Joined: Sep 23 2007
Posts: 1591
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Go Tako! My boy Tako can out bad-joke any of you, guaranteed.
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<Drew_Linky> Well, I've eaten vegetables all of once in my life.
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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A guy was riding on an airplane, and he decided to smoke a cigar. Unfortunately, he was sitting next to a woman with a dog. The dog began coughing, so the lady said, "Excuse me, sir, but could you please put out your cigar? It's really bothering my dog."
He angrily replied, "No, I won't! You shouldn't have a dog on this flight anyways!"
"This is a non-smoking flight! You need to put that cigar out!" she said. They argued back and forth... get rid of the dog, put out the cigar, and so on.
Finally, the man said, "Look, I'll compromise with you. If you get rid of your dog, I'll get rid of the cigar." HE was thinking, "She'll never want to give up her dog." But much to his surprise, she agreed to the deal!
The lady opened the window (amazingly, without causing the air pressure inside the plane to drop) and threw her dog out. The man, thinking that he had another cigar anyways, threw his cigar out the window, thinking that he had won.
However, the woman suddenly reached out the window, and grabbed her dog's leash! As she pulled the dog back in, she was thinking that she'd won, but do you know what the dog had in its mouth?
A brick.
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Mr Takosuke
Title: :bell:
Joined: Jun 30 2010
Location: Whore Island
Posts: 180
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*Cracks Knuckles*
Did you hear about the sheep that drove a car? They got pulled over for making a ewe turn!
A man from Belgum went to curch and confessed to the priest "Forgive me father I have sined, I hid a Jew in my atic during World War 2."
The Priest said "That's not a sin, it was an act of great kindness."
"But father I made him pay 35 francs for each day he hid."
"Well that wast very charitable but it was still an act of great kindness."
"One more thing father."
"What"
"Should I tell him the war's over now?"
A girl rushed home to tell her mother, "I found a man just like dad!" The mother says "What do you want from me? Sympathy?"
A nun dies and went to heaven but she saw a sing that said "Undergoing repairs" She knocks on the door anyways and Saint Peter comes out and says "What do you want?"
The nun says "Well since Heaven's being repaired, what should I do?"
"Well, untill repairs are done, I can let you go back to earth as anyone you want"
"Well, in that case, I want to go back as Alice Kapipelean"
"I'm sorry, but no one by that name exists"
The nun pulls out a paper and says "Well look at this then"
"I think you are mistaken, it says here that the Alaska pipeline was laid by 500 men in 6 months."
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SNESGuy
Title: El Duderino
Joined: Jul 31 2010
Location: Da D.C
Posts: 1831
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Mr Takosuke
Title: :bell:
Joined: Jun 30 2010
Location: Whore Island
Posts: 180
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Prince Charles arived in Iran on a state visit and asked the President "Where is the Shah"
The President looked puzzled. "What do you mean? There is no Shah. We got rid of the Shah years ago."
"Very well." said Prince Charles "In that case i'll take a bath."
First, God created Earth, then he rested
Then, God created Man, then he rested
Then God created Woman, and no one has rested since!
Did you hear about the guy who told religious jokes? He was put on the Sects Offenders List.
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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UsaSatsui, I see what you did there!
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Valdronius
Moderator
Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 4465
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I hope Satsui continues his joke.
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd. |
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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@om*d
Title: Dorakyura
Joined: Jul 10 2010
Location: Castlevania
Posts: 4226
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A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “Hey, how much for a beer?”
The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”
Two protons were sitting in the corner.
One turns to the other and says, “Hey, that neutron got a free beer!”
The other replies, “Are you positive?!”
A neutrino walks into a bar.
The bartender says "we don't serve neutrinos in this bar."
The neutrino says, "Hey, I was just passing through."
An infectious disease walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "we don't serve infectious diseases in this bar."
The infectious disease replies, "You're not a very good host."
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posts: 12294
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| Mr Takosuke wrote: |
| You guys want a lame joke? Next time any of you use a urinal, look down. |
this is almost as amusing as the clock one. bravo.
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HardcoreGamer4Ever
Title: I Am The God Of Awesome
Joined: Jun 28 2010
Location: Your Mom's Vagina!
Posts: 1298
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Q; What do Jennifer Lopez and a farmer with a friendly donkey have in common?
A: They both have a nice ass.
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https://badassgorilla.blogspot.com/
Yo yo yo, check out my new(ish) site!
RIP Happy Katana (2010-2020) |
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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| SoldierHawk wrote: |
| FNJ wrote: |
knock kknock
whho's there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thught you said we'd never forget? |
 That one is so bad it's awesome.
Alright, I've got a longer joke for you, but it's equally bad:
This frog goes into a bank. He hops up onto the desk of a loan manager, slams his little fist in front of her and demands, "I want a loan!"
The woman gives him a rather funny look--talking frog you know--but recovers nicely. "My name is Patricia Black, Mr. Frog," she says. "How much will you be needing, and do you have any collateral?"
The frog answers, "ten thousand dollars, and here's my collateral." He opens up a sack he's been holding, and dumps a large amount of ridiculous and rather ugly ceramic figurines onto the desk.
Our loan agent looks at them dubiously, then stands and excuses herself. "I'm...going to have to talk to my manager," she says, before going into the back room area to talk to her boss.
"What do you want, Patty?" her boss growls as she knocks on his office door.
"Uh, sir, there's a frog on my desk and he wants a loan. You'd better come have a look at this."
Grumbling, the boss stands up and follows her back to the main part of the bank. "So, frog," he says, eyeing the creature, "you want to borrow money. Where's you're collateral?" The frog gestures to the cheap ceramic figures he's dumped out of his bag, and the boss's eyes immediately light up. He turns back to his loan agent and says, "those are knick-knacks Patty Black! Give the frog a loan!"
Told you it was bad. The best part is how far you have to go for that horrible pun of a punchline.  |
Ok, I'll grant that one a smirk. 
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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BOO URNS!
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Atma
Title: Dragoon
Joined: Apr 29 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 2450
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Q: How did Hitler tie his laces?
A: In little Nazis.
Q: How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
A: When his drill slipped.
Q: If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay?
A: A bagel.
Q: What are tired Army clothes?
A: Fatigues
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef
Q: What's Irish and sits in the sun?
A: Paddy O'Furniture
Q: What's a cow eating grass?
A: A lawn mooer
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Reinhart_x
Title: Master of nothing
Joined: Oct 06 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 228
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185 nurses walk into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here," and the nurses say, "Come on, man, give us a shot!"
185 little kids walk into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here," and the little kids say, "But we can be your bouncers!"
Thank you, goodnight!
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Atma
Title: Dragoon
Joined: Apr 29 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 2450
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Carlos Mencia, and Dane Cook walk into a Bar. The Bartender says, "Ok, which one of you are going to steal this joke?"
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Mr Takosuke
Title: :bell:
Joined: Jun 30 2010
Location: Whore Island
Posts: 180
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Did you hear about the guy who kept telling Polish jokes? They got Warsaw and Warsaw.
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Joe_Killer
Title: Professional Amature
Joined: Oct 10 2006
Location: Camp Lejeune, NC
Posts: 86
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What did the Egyptian baker say when he walked into the doctors office?
Doc, I FALAFEL!
Because you know...felafel sounds like "feel awful"... oh screw it, I give up.
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"It's time for some unicorn on the cob." |
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