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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16133
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| Quote: |
'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
A Chinese chef with possibly the worst friends in the world died after a live eel shoved up his rectum as a prank when he was passed out drunk gnawed through his guts. Doctors mystified by the man's abdominal pain and anal bleeding cut him open and were astonished to find the 20-inch eel, which had died but not before doing considerable damages to his insides, Shanghaiist reports. The patient died after 10 days in intensive care. Police are investigating, and the "friends" are likely to face charges. |
http://www.newser.com/story/87719/man-dies-after-friends-insert-eel-in-his-rectum.html
wow. i know we ALL have friends that can be dicks at times, but wow.
if i ever end up hanging out w/any of you fuckers and i pass out drunk, DO NOT stick anything up my ass. or my mouth.
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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You just find the neatest things to share.
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Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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The Opponent
Title: Forum Battle WINNER
Joined: Feb 24 2010
Location: The Danger Zone
Posts: 3495
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Just don't get drunk then.
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I'm not a bad enough dude, but I am an edgy little shit. I'll do what I can. |
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Posts: 5316
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I'll be sleeping good tonight...
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SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6113
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And I thought the Japanese were bad with their koncho and all...wow.
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| William Shakespeare wrote: |
| Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24883
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Oh come on, I think we've all died at least or twice from having live eels shoved up our butts while we were sleeping. We just don't like to admit it.
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Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
Posts: 4274
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No... but the time with... Nevermind
All think of is... Tubgirl...
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Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
Posts: 1761
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Did it really have to be a 20-inch eel? That's just excessive.
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Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards. |
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Ba'al
Title: Zerg Zergling
Joined: Mar 02 2008
Location: Uranus
Posts: 2286
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Well, at least it wasn't an Electric Eel or a Moray Eel....that would've been one hell of a wake-up call. I'm hoping his idiot friends get the book thrown at them, they should've known better. It makes me glad that I'm not friends with the "prankish" type people.
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The Opponent
Title: Forum Battle WINNER
Joined: Feb 24 2010
Location: The Danger Zone
Posts: 3495
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| Oh come on, I think we've all died at least or twice from having live eels shoved up our butts while we were sleeping. We just don't like to admit it. |
That happened to me at the doctor's once. I'm currently writing a book about the experience.
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I'm not a bad enough dude, but I am an edgy little shit. I'll do what I can. |
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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I bet the "friends did it" angle is a cover.
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Rycona
Moderator
Title: The Maestro
Joined: Nov 01 2005
Location: Away from Emerald Weapon
Posts: 2815
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| Blackout wrote: |
| I bet the "friends did it" angle is a cover. |
So, it's really a government that's behind this? I knew it!
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RIP Hacker. |
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Undeath
Title: Facepuncher of Asses
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 608
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With friends like these, who needs enemas? Amirite?
BA ZING!
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| Cracked.com wrote: |
"MARGARINE IS ONE MOLECULE AWAY FROM PLASTIC."
Not only is that not right, that's not even wrong. It's a meaningless statement. Saying something is "one molecule away" from plastic is like saying a farm is one letter away from a fart. Water is "one molecule away" from being explosive hydrogen gas. |
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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| Rycona wrote: |
| Blackout wrote: |
| I bet the "friends did it" angle is a cover. |
So, it's really a government that's behind this? I knew it! |
Well maybe, but I was thinking that no friends would cram that up there and not tell him when he woke up, I mean whats the point if you can't mock the victim? [lemmiwinks]Seems to me he probably wanted it there.[/lemmiwinks]
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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
Posts: 3129
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...where do you even get the idea of shoving a 20 inch eel up some guys ass
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Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
Posts: 4274
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| Hacker wrote: |
| ...where do you even get the idea of shoving a 20 inch eel up some guys ass |
Same place you learn about the Candiru and the ingredients of aspirin... THE INTERNET!
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LeshLush
Joined: Oct 19 2009
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 1479
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| Undeath wrote: |
With friends like these, who needs enemas? Amirite?
BA ZING! |
Well played.
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speakno3vil
Title: Honky Slapper
Joined: Dec 29 2009
Location: MI
Posts: 6
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Im disturbed yet slighty aroused!
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Sand will cover this place, Sand will cover you. |
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Undeath
Title: Facepuncher of Asses
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 608
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| speakno3vil wrote: |
| Im disturbed yet slighty aroused! |
Now I'm just plain disturbed.
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| Cracked.com wrote: |
"MARGARINE IS ONE MOLECULE AWAY FROM PLASTIC."
Not only is that not right, that's not even wrong. It's a meaningless statement. Saying something is "one molecule away" from plastic is like saying a farm is one letter away from a fart. Water is "one molecule away" from being explosive hydrogen gas. |
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jackfrost
Title: Cold Hearted Bastard
Joined: Feb 21 2009
Posts: 861
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Rectum, nearly killed him (whoops, it did).
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[img]http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w204/akajackfrost/megaman.jpg[/img] |
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Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
Posts: 7287
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| jackfrost wrote: |
| Rectum, nearly killed him (whoops, it did). |
Now I just feel eel.
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"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!" |
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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| lordsathien wrote: |
| jackfrost wrote: |
| Rectum, nearly killed him (whoops, it did). |
Now I just feel eel. |
Boo-urns! 
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Godofhardcore
Joined: Feb 22 2010
Posts: 351
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16133
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| Blackout wrote: |
| lordsathien wrote: |
| jackfrost wrote: |
| Rectum, nearly killed him (whoops, it did). |
Now I just feel eel. |
Boo-urns! |
god i hate u guys lol
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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Hey guys, I wrote a joke!
What's an eel's favorite planet?
Uranus!!!!!!!
Get it??? Is this thing on??????????
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Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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