This is quite easily the worst movie I've ever seen. Once thought to be impossible to think otherwise after watching "Manos the Hands of Fate" without the MST3K commentary, but this movie succeeds more than Manos ever did.

Essentially, I saw a few minutes of this many years ago, which was basically just quick clips of how much blatant stealing from movies such as Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark. I watched this a few days ago and really really couldn't believe how bad it was. It even lost the humor factor at times because it was confusing.

Even if you were to take those things out of the movie, you still have a really stupid movie on your hands. A movie that seems to create plot devices on the fly as the movie goes along, a movie that has absolutely no continuity from one point to the next, it seems to just repeat itself over and over with the action scenes and amazingly despite how loose the story plays out, you will be confused 2 minutes into it because of all the ridiculous plot points.

For those of you who haven't seen the movie, I wouldn't reccomend it.

Here's basically the movie in the nutshell.

Well from what I gathered, Earth is on the basis for being destroyed by an alien race. The alien race cannot conquer/destroy Earth because it has developed a shield made up entirely of human brains that seem to keep the aliens out. While we're given this speech, we're treated to a montage of Star Wars and NASA clips spliced together. The aliens apparently need a human brain in order to conquer Earth. Despite all of this, Earth has sent wave after wave of humans at these aliens to destroy them. None of them have come back, so Earth decides to send their 2 best soldiers in the World.

Well that fails and they end up crashing onto another planet, which is because they were actually purposely sent there by higher powers? Anyways, these two numbskulls get in several battles with guys in monkey suits and well as these red demons that reminded me of Gossamer from Looney Tunes. You better get used to seeing these guys, they're absolutely all over the place in this movie.

The main guy of the two, reminds me of Charles Bronson for some reason. The other guy looks like Psicosis when he had his mask off. Anyways after fighting some absolutely laughable battles, they are captured by what looks like the robot from Lost in Space. They are forced to do battle against other captives, but it doesn't take long for them to escape. They meet up with some other humans who Bronson seems to get attatched to quite quickly, the love music from "ROTLA" is rampant every time he locks eyes with this blonde bimbo. Anyways more useless fighting scenes follow this time with clawed mummies.

Then for absolutely no reason at all, they seem to do a training montage that includes Bronson tying boulders to his legs to allow him to jump around like he's on a kangaroo. Psicosis meanwhiles just slaps dirt. They then embark to the Catina stolen from A New Hope, where we see the same 4 masked characters we see throughout the movie. More pathedic fighting scenes, in which our "heroes" never seem to be in any real danger whatsoever, and also have the ability to decapitate monsters with karate chops.

Anyways our "heroes" get captured again along with Bronson's lover and son(brother?). Psicosis is taken elsewhere while Bronson gets his first up close look at the antagonist of the story. A guy simply known as the wizard. The wizard is all powerful and invinsible. Despite all this, he like many Bond villians allow his ego to get the best of him. Despite holding all the cards, he seems to enjoy taunting Bronson, first by turning his staff into a golden brain and back to a staff, then threatening harm to Bronson's lover. This pisses Bronson off and he starts kicking ass. The all power invincible wizard? He retreats. THE INVINSIBLE WIZARD RETREATS! Psicosis makes his escape as well as both guys kick ass for the next several minutes. The wizard shows back up and captures them again. He tortures them by burying them alive, but this seems to have absolutely no effect as they very easily get out. The wizard then decides that Bronson should have to fight another monster. Dude, just KILL HIM. He's proven he can quite easily defeat anything you throw in front of him. And Bronson very easily tackles this monster as well. You'd think that the only thing you need to conquer Earth is a human brain, yet there seems to be humans all over the place...so why not kill one of them? Anyways, Bronson somehow makes his escape after the fight and also takes the woman and son (brother?) with him.

Of course it gets weirder. For absolutely no reason, the movie tells us the one true religion is Islam. Bronson is then told in order to defeat the Wizard, he needs the golden brain and the golden sword. This isn't the golden brain we saw earlier, these items are both hidden in a cave by I kid you not, Jesus Christ. These items are guarded by more Gossamers which Bronson quite easily defeats. He collects the brain and sword, both of which look worse for wear. The brain's gold paint is chipped all over the place and the sword looks like it's made out of aluminum foil.

Outside he is confronted by Psicosis who seems to have escaped. Psicosis asks Bronson for the sword and brain, but Bronson refuses. Psicosis reveals himself to actually be the Wizard in disguise. Anyways, once again the Wizard completely brushes him off and leaves. Bronson catches up at the Wizard's palace and rescues the real Psicosis. To thank him, Psicosis beats Bronson up and steals the brain and sword and goes to fight the Wizard. The Wizard easily fools Psicosis into giving up the items and beats him up until Bronson saves him by dropkicking the items out of the Wizard's hands. Once again he flees.

Of course none of this apparently matters because all the Wizard had to do was touch the items and he would have the power to destroy the Earth. Well Psicosis feeling bad for being such an idiot decides to once again act like an idiot and gets himself blown up...somehow. Anyways, Bronson avenges his dead friend by melting the sword and brain down, then sticking his hands into the MELTED GOLD creating fully flexible hand gauntlets to help fight the Wizard.

Anyways, Bronson then fights the entire world for what seems like the next 20 minutes. He finally faces off with the Wizard, who seems to be in two places at once during this whole duration of Earth fighting. Anyways, Bronson beats him pretty easily as well. And even karate chops him in half vertically. In what has to be the worst effect ever, we're shown the Wizard chopped in half by literally blocking out half the lense. Bronson then flies off in the Millennium Falcon.

I'm not even kidding when I say I would gladly watch Manos again over this heap. What's even more amazing is that this is only #41 on the worst movies on IMDB. I know that you might not consider this the worst, but it should be in the top 5 worst for sure. The amount of stolen material in this movie is baffling, the action is atrocious, the story is all over the place, and the delivery is ugly.