Dear Sydlexians, our beloved General bastard has failed to produce any real proof of his so called cup cake truck. I for one am too hot and tired to continue waiting! I propose that this "cupcake truck" is nothing more than a delusional fantasy of his twisted imagination, possibly brought on by a traumatic childhood pastry accident.

Furthermore, I do not believe the illustrious B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S. deserve to be governed by a dementia plagued General who is too busy imagining that Syd is living inside, and possibly pooping in, his computer. I declare there is a vacuum in leadership, and I hereby am stating my intentions of deposing our doddering old General!

Since cupcakes are totally weak (as I've pointed out before), I suggest a new focus for our efforts. One that involves teaching Elephants to be Xenophobic, because seriously, if you're not an elephant then fuck you pal! To signify our new change of focus, I've taken the liberty of changing our name from B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S. to B.uddies U.nited T.o T.each S.tupid E.lephants X.enophobia!

Just imagine the terror our stomping elephants of doom will inspire! They will stomp and crush anything and everything! The mass panic and chaos will allow us to pilfer all the world's supplies of beer tacos and ice cream undetected!

Best of all I've already got us new uniforms!

You're part of this cupcake conspiracy, I have proof!

Look, here you and GP are discussing the merits of continuing your plot to deceive us about the nature of the cupcake truck's existence.


Now how in the hell were you able to take a bite out of that chicken leg through your mask Syd?

I demand answers!

It's simple Thorinar, GP is has gone senile and spends all the time he should be using to lead us to victory to claim outrageous things like the nurses are stealing his money and the lump on his neck is getting bigger, as well as the aforementioned pooping in the computer.


Syd is covering it all up and is not to be trusted, using mudslinging tactics to insinuate that I smoke crack so you'll all disregard my claims in order to neutralize my rise to power. I mean really, he obviously really didn't take a bite out of that chicken leg!

Josh, do not attempt to curry favor via plaitutdes, remain focused and dedicated to instilling elephants and indeed all pachyderms with the virtue of hating all that is different.

Gumshoe, you are wrong. The Cupcake Truck does not exist, therefore it cannot be stolen!

RobotGumshoe wrote:

so screw the elephants.

That's actually how I was planning to teach them to hate, anybody got a stepladder?

RobotGumshoe wrote:

Blackout wrote: RobotGumshoe wrote: so screw the elephants. That's actually how I was planning to teach them to hate, anybody got a stepladder? Most women don't even notice when your in, so I don't think your equipped to cause the emotional trauma needed to fill the pachyderms with blind unwarranted hate.

Au contraire my metallic friend! You see, my screaming Nordic member is so massive that it renders me incapable of relations with human women, henceforth my plan to mate with large land animals (like your mother). I only need the step ladder in order to slap the elephant's posterior, as my arms are not as long as my junk.


Aqua, you get a B for effort, but who let you off duty? You still have the entire men's bathroom to clean. Chop chop now, it smells like harg boiled eggs in there!

For the record, I never said it was a good plan!