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Let's make dumb documentaries college kids will jizz over


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Sep 15 2009 10:13 am Reply with quote Back to top

As many of you know, I am no fan of Michael Moore and Morgan Spurlock. I find them to be disingenuous assholes who intentionally distort reality and sell it as truth to under-educated teenagers.

But I thought, why couldn't we make our own misleading documentaries and make shitloads of money? For example...

SCURVY AHOY!

In Scurvy Ahoy, I will live off nothing but Chips Ahoy cookies and water for an extended time period. In doing so, I will prove that Chips Ahoy cookies cause scurvy. I will then ambush various Nabisco executives, confront them about scurvy, then use creative editing to make them look like liars and idiots.
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Deadmau_5pra
Title: Amatuer film/podcaster
Joined: Feb 10 2009
Location: Chicago Area
PostPosted: Sep 15 2009 10:26 am Reply with quote Back to top

No Syd. No Instead we will blow the lid on ALL the global elites and their actions and their quest for WORLD DOMINATION. We must inform the people on FEMA CAMPS, CHEMTRAILS, HAARP and other shit and blow it the fuck out of proportion. We will show the contrast between the Illuminati and Lady gaGa. We must show that CANADA was responsible for 9/11. Alex Jones may have scared a generation shitless, but after this , people are gonna wanna stop having kids and and BUY BUY!! are DVD's.This Is A Joke

Bowling for Columbine was okay. But I show no love for Morgan Spurlock.


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Kojjiro!
Joined: Feb 16 2008
PostPosted: Sep 15 2009 10:31 am Reply with quote Back to top

Let's do a documentary about che guevara, and portray him as a loving foreigner who loves america and hates fidel castro.


wait, whoops, that's already what most college kids think, fuck.


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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Sep 15 2009 11:03 am Reply with quote Back to top

Kojjiro! wrote:
Let's do a documentary about che guevara, and portray him as a loving foreigner who loves america and hates fidel castro.


wait, whoops, that's already what most college kids think, fuck.

thats what sucks. most people are dumbasses and dont know the real che.


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
PostPosted: Sep 15 2009 11:45 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
As many of you know, I am no fan of Michael Moore and Morgan Spurlock. I find them to be disingenuous assholes who intentionally distort reality and sell it as truth to under-educated teenagers.

But I thought, why couldn't we make our own misleading documentaries and make shitloads of money? For example...

SCURVY AHOY!

In Scurvy Ahoy, I will live off nothing but Chips Ahoy cookies and water for an extended time period. In doing so, I will prove that Chips Ahoy cookies cause scurvy. I will then ambush various Nabisco executives, confront them about scurvy, then use creative editing to make them look like liars and idiots.


I am so on board for this. Can I write your one-sided and misleading dialogue? Can I? Pleeeeease???


militarysignatures.com

William Shakespeare wrote:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

 
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Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
PostPosted: Sep 15 2009 12:49 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I'm game for this as well. I'll be the "scientist guy" who tells you don't do it
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Valdronius
Moderator
Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
PostPosted: Sep 15 2009 02:17 pm Reply with quote Back to top

You realize that scurvy makes your teeth fall out, right?


Klimbatize wrote:
A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd.

 
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AtmanRyu
Title: The Wandering Dragon
Joined: Jun 25 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
PostPosted: Sep 15 2009 02:18 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Don't forget the charts! The Charts! Everyone will know that you are talking facts if you carry charts around, even if said charts were recently made in Excel with random numbers!
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hobojoe44
Joined: May 05 2007
PostPosted: Sep 15 2009 04:03 pm Reply with quote Back to top

SpraCoalee wrote:
No Syd. No Instead we will blow the lid on ALL the global elites and their actions and their quest for WORLD DOMINATION. We must inform the people on FEMA CAMPS, CHEMTRAILS, HAARP and other shit and blow it the fuck out of proportion. We will show the contrast between the Illuminati and Lady gaGa. We must show that CANADA was responsible for 9/11. Alex Jones may have scared a generation shitless, but after this , people are gonna wanna stop having kids and and BUY BUY!! are DVD's.This Is A Joke

Bowling for Columbine was okay. But I show no love for Morgan Spurlock.


Well some Americans think some of the terrorists of 9/11 came through Canada.

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20090424/mccain_mistake_090424/20090424?hub=World

Apr. 09
John McCain says 9-11 terrorists came from Canada

WASHINGTON -- John McCain is the latest high-profile politician to repeat the diehard American falsehood that the 9-11 terrorists entered the United States through Canada.....
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Sep 16 2009 12:02 am Reply with quote Back to top

I want to make a documentary about documentaries.


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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Sep 16 2009 12:20 am Reply with quote Back to top

FNJ wrote:
I want to make a documentary about documentaries.

will the DVD have a behind the scenes featurette? on the making of a documentary about documentaries.


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Sep 16 2009 03:24 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I want to make a slasher flick about a psycho that kills people with ball peen hammer. I will call it HAMMER TIME.



 
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Sep 16 2009 03:42 pm Reply with quote Back to top

something like that actually happened in atlanta, georgia a few years ago.


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Deadmau_5pra
Title: Amatuer film/podcaster
Joined: Feb 10 2009
Location: Chicago Area
PostPosted: Sep 16 2009 03:51 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I'm STILL trying to make a movie, but lack of funds and equipment, the script is just gathering dust on my shelf along with the other three I swore were gonna be made. Mad


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Sep 16 2009 06:15 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Blackout wrote:
I want to make a slasher flick about a psycho that kills people with ball peen hammer. I will call it HAMMER TIME.

I wanted to do the same thing, only with a sledge hammer or a maul. The soundtrack would write itself:

Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer
M.C. Hammer - Hammer Time
The Beatles - Maxwell's Silver Hammer
Megadeth - Crush 'Em
The Offspring - Hit That
Manowar - Sign of the Hammer
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Sep 16 2009 06:33 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Don't forget Hammer Smashed Face! Exclamation



 
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JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
PostPosted: Sep 17 2009 10:20 am Reply with quote Back to top

Blackout wrote:
Don't forget Hammer Smashed Face! Exclamation


That should be the song for the trailer!


There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant.
 
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Sep 17 2009 10:32 am Reply with quote Back to top

A song from Kill 'Em All should be used as well. "Seek And Destroy" would be a good one.
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MOGHARR
Title: The Original CandyWafer
Joined: Apr 05 2007
Location: Under Jolly Roger
PostPosted: Sep 17 2009 07:15 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Znowhite has a good song called Sledgehammer. You could party to that song.


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"Well I don`t judge most things by graphics, reality has amazing graphics, and I don`t like it, that`s why I play video games." Laminated Sky on Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
 
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Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
PostPosted: Sep 17 2009 07:59 pm Reply with quote Back to top

AtmanRyu wrote:
Don't forget the charts! The Charts! Everyone will know that you are talking facts if you carry charts around, even if said charts were recently made in Excel with random numbers!

I would find it hilarious to see people spouting off facts while pointing to a recently drawn chart with crayons confronting executives.

Sir would you care to explain the deaths outlined on this chart found on your website?
"You just made that chart with crayons!"
No I didn't I just downloaded this off you webpage and this is what it looks like blown up.
"The chart is in Blue Red and Green crayon."
I don't have any crayons.
"They're right there in your front pocket"
I just took my kids to Perkins give me a break.
"Plus we sell cigarettes what does that have to do with Cattle?"
...You're not with PETA?...shit...


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jackfrost
Title: Cold Hearted Bastard
Joined: Feb 21 2009
PostPosted: Sep 17 2009 08:38 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Tell me the old joke of people talking about dihydrogen monoxide as a substance that should be banned couldn't be made into a documentary. The statistics are there when they are presented in a skewed manner to the uneducated masses. It could be called "Die Hydrogen Monoxide" or "Die HO" for short. The movie writes itself.


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Burt Reynolds
Title: Bentley Bear
Joined: Apr 07 2008
Location: California
PostPosted: Sep 22 2009 01:41 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I'm already working on a documentary that proves Morgan Spurlock gives you AIDS if watched straight for a month. I just need to get AIDS now.


Dances with Wolves 2 is gonna ROCK!
 
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Sep 22 2009 04:05 pm Reply with quote Back to top

SpraCoalee wrote:
I'm STILL trying to make a movie, but lack of funds and equipment, the script is just gathering dust on my shelf along with the other three I swore were gonna be made. Mad


tell me more about these scripts.


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JStrangiato
Title: El Hombre Strangiato
Joined: Jun 12 2007
Location: Texas
PostPosted: Sep 29 2009 11:47 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
A song from Kill 'Em All should be used as well. "Seek And Destroy" would be a good one.

What about the title track of "...And Justice for All"? "HAMMER OF JUSTICE CRUSHES YOU, OVERPOWER!"
Also, the lack of Motorhead's "The Hammer" saddens me. Plus, Judas Priest's "Between the Hammer and the Anvil."


My music/humor blog (R.I.P.): http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/
Chondra "Mrs. Claudio" Sanchez on Enshin a.k.a. Jake Strangiato wrote:
I really like this person.

 
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Deadmau_5pra
Title: Amatuer film/podcaster
Joined: Feb 10 2009
Location: Chicago Area
PostPosted: Sep 30 2009 09:53 am Reply with quote Back to top

FNJ wrote:
SpraCoalee wrote:
I'm STILL trying to make a movie, but lack of funds and equipment, the script is just gathering dust on my shelf along with the other three I swore were gonna be made. Mad


tell me more about these scripts.


This is the one I'm currently working on, you can view it in the nWo forums it's under "Possible movie idea".

Title: Just Another Generation

Plot/Synopsis: The four main characters have been invited to a party; we will look into a day in the life of these young people as they get ready for the party, however, tragedy will strike, and someone will lose their life and EVERYONE’S life will never be the same.

Shelved project: Remeber that last time?

Plot: Mockumentry style film about a day in the life of a pothead and how he is slowly throwing his life away, however many are unware about a tragedy that happend in Derek's life that led him to consume the amount of weed he does.

Shevled Project: Life Is An STD

Plot: Francis is attempting to reconnect with his high school sweet heart, however he runs into his high school bully also. After a breif confrintation Francis kills his former tormentor, can he hide this horrible deed and try to stay in a "postive" mental state and reconnect with his former love? Or will he be driven to madness by his conscious?


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