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Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

Okay, a resent post has given me an idea. Basically we are going to make a little story, each of us taking turns telling a part of the story. It's kind of like the word association game.

Here are the rules:

1) Let's keep it clean, comical dirty is okay but straight up porn is not exceptionable on any thread. Plus this is not that kind of forum, their are tones out their doing this kind of shit if your interested, do a search.

2) Each member is aloud to post once per day.

3) your post must have some form of contingency to the last post. Randomness is welcomed.

4) I'm not going to go all English teacher here but keep your entry at a maximum of 2-3 paragraphs, or however many words that would make. Don't go crazy like JEW did on the Zombie Armageddon thread and write a novel.

5) Comments are welcomed, if you have a comment just put an * at the beginning to let people know it's not part of the story.

6) You do not talk about Never Ending Story Game

7) You do not talk about Never Ending Story Game!

EDIT (10-10-08)
If at any point the story shows signs of dying, we will use a flux capacitor to bring life back to the story. Just quote the previous post the story was alive at and put FCP (Flux Capasitor power) underneath and continue the story from there. The additions that happen after the FCP, will be called "Alternate Dimensions."

Okay, let's get busy!!!

Marty reached 88 miles per hour on his motorcycle which was the max speed. He finally got his pay check and is off to take his girl, Bluma out to have some Kentucky Fried Octopuses. This was the night, no matter what Marty was going to get some. He has been looking forward to this since . . . well Marty can't really remember, the Testosterone has melted his brain. It's raining, the highway in the country is smooth sailing . . . Marty, being the idiot he is, then utters those eternal words: "What could possible go wrong!"

BLAM!

When Marty comes to, he finds himself at the side of the highway, his bike's front tire clearly shot. Marty looks around to find a black cat, armed with a Garand Rifle and smoking a huge Cuban cigar. Marty then assumes if the cat can shoot, it can talk too. "What the frogger, Cat?! Why the hell did you shoot my tire out?!!!!"

The Cat takes a drag and says "I'm the Highway Pussy, the Ultimate Pussy that Cock Blocks!!!" Marty stands up and brushes off the gravel embedded in his ass. "What the fargo, Cat! Why are you cock blocking me?" . . .

Title: Titlating Joined: Dec 17 2007 Posts: 5042

The cat abruptly replied "Oh hai It's just my job and my way of life , I don't ask you why you do what ever the hell it is you do so it doesn't seem fair of you to ask me why I do what I do

Equally annoyed and perplexed Marty reworded his question, "How is it you have come to be the highway pussy what that cocks blocks people?"

The cat takes a few more drags of his cuban and then puts it out all badass like on it's paw ,and if you know anything about cat paws that probably hurt so it proves the super badassness of it all, then curtly responds " It is a special honor among my people passed down from generation to generation there are several of us all around the world and this highway belongs to me. And I have sworn to stop all those who pass from getting that sweet pussy as the only pussy that will be had on the highways is us felines. It's a system based on a play on words really but it works.

"Seems kinda complicated " Says marty with a shocked look on his face "What happens if you refuse to take on the job of highway pussy"

The cat looks out to the distance wide eyed and all knowing and says "The majority of those who deny you probably see every day on the side of the road, but a select few make it out alive......

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Oct 09 2008 10:13 pm

"A select few?"

"That's right," said the UPTCB. "One in particular. He's a legend. Nobody ever got past him. But he left. And nobody knows why. It doesn't matter, though...the only way you really leave is..."

Suddenly his mind came back to the now. "Why do you care, anyways?

Marty shrugged. "Uh...curiosity"?

"Yeah, well, you know what curiosity gets you, right? You ask too many questions, kid. Now I need to make sure you don't talk OR get any." The UPTCB then aimed the rifle between Marty's legs, and...

BLAM.

The cat fell over with a .44 caliber hole in it's head. Marty spun around in the direction of the shot and faced the mysterious stranger, yelling, "What the fandango is going on?"

Posted: Oct 09 2008 10:25 pm

The stranger pulled off his mak to reveal he was Luigi, and he was going on a killing spree to gain attention, after being fed up with living in his brother's shadow.
"you shoulda get Weegee ina the 6 o'clock news!" Yelled Luigi as he pulled a lightsaber out of his hat.
"Look", wimpered Marty, "I'm just tryin to get laid. Thanks for killing the cock blocker, but I think we can just go our sepera-OH GODDAMMIT!" Marty was interupted as Luigi chopped of his left arm with his lightsaber.

Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

"You chopped off my arm, you bastard" screamed marty "i'm gonna get you for this Luigi" then marty pulled a pistol out of his coat and shot Luigi right between the eyes. He then got some bandages out of motercycle and healed up his wounds

Posted: Oct 09 2008 11:14 pm

*there's nobody named mark.

Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

ThatGuy wrote:

*there's nobody named mark.

*fixed

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Oct 09 2008 11:50 pm

*Complete and utter failure of an addition. Is there any way we can get lousy additions stricken? Because if we can't, this will go downhill pretty damn fast.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

UsaSatsui wrote:

*Complete and utter failure of an addition. Is there any way we can get lousy additions stricken? Because if we can't, this will go downhill pretty damn fast.

*Hmmmm . . . I should have made that something too. I'm uber pissed UPTCB is already dead, i figured he last another 3 posts (or to the bitter end). How about this, Dance Dance dimensional rifts and time travel. If at any point the story shows signs of dying, we will use a flux capacitor to bring life back to the story. Just quote the previous post the story was alive at and put FCP (Flux Capasitor power) underneath and continue the story from there. The additions that happen after the FCP, will be called "Alternate Dimensions."

Posted: Oct 10 2008 04:33 am

Marty quickly ran over to the UPTCB. "Are you ok?" he asked.

"Well I did just get shot in the head, I'm pretty sure I'm dying you moron." the cat sputtered. "Listen Marty, before I die, I must warn you not to go see your girlfriend."

"But why cock blocker?"

"Because I wasn't cock blocking you, I was cock blocking her."

"But that doesn't make much sense, how can you cock block a girl?"

"Because she's really a dude, Marty. I was doing this to protect your ass, literally!"

Marty was confused. "What do you mean she's a dude?"

"Haven't you noticed that when you guys make out, she gets a boner too?"

"Now that you mention it, that is kinda wierd..."

Suddenly the cat coughed up blood and started making wierd gurgling noises, then it was silent. The cat was dead. Marty examined the cat and found that it was carrying a letter. The letter was a mission statement addressed to the UPTCB that simply warned: "If Marty gets assraped, the end of the world will be upon us all." Where did this letter come from and what did Marty's ass virginity have to do with the apacolypse? Marty was determined to find out.

Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

Marty then notices a poster on the ground the it is a poster that reads "5,000,000 dollar reward for the capture of Luigi DEAD OR ALIVE he then decides picks up Luigi and ties his dead body to his motorcycle then picks up his left arm and drives off. After turning Luigi in he go's to a hospital and uses 10,000 dollars to get his arm sown back on. "now that i have my arm I'm going to find out why my losing my ass virginity will cause the end of the world."

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

But where to begin?

The world is a big place and Marty was a below average guy.

Unfortunately while any normal person would have tried to find help in the form of someone smarter, Marty sadly chose to ask his twin brother Francis for help.

The fact that Francis was alive at all was truly a miracle. At birth he had both his umbilical cord as well as Marty's wrapped around his neck upon exiting his mother's womb. This tragic circumstance had left him with permanent brain damage and an IQ of 68.

The doctors stated that he would always be a step behind his brother. Later in life after testing they found that this was in fact true. Marty had an IQ of 73 and was capable of writing full sentences with periods and capital letters, while his brother was only able to make run on sentences.

Still, Francis always wanted to help his brother and began to explain a plan.

Posted: Oct 10 2008 04:18 pm

But everything was not as it seemed at Francis' house. There was nothing odd on the outside, but on the inside lurked... something.

Marty entered the house and looke around in horror, as there was blood everywhere. He saw Francis, or rather half of Francis, on the couch, covered in blood and bullet wounds.
"Don't... don't die haa......" And just like that, he was dead.

KA-BOOM! Marty was knocked back a good 10 feet when everything that was comnbustible, and several things that weren't, burst into flames as John McClain fired his pistol from behind an overturned table.

Marty pulled out his pistol, only to discover he was out of ammo. all he had on him was a toothpick.

Joined: Aug 13 2008 Location: Watertown, NY Posts: 131

ThatGuy wrote:

But everything was not as it seemed at Francis' house. There was nothing odd on the outside, but on the inside lurked... something.

Marty entered the house and looke around in horror, as there was blood everywhere. He saw Francis, or rather half of Francis, on the couch, covered in blood and bullet wounds.
"Don't... don't die haa......" And just like that, he was dead.

KA-BOOM! Marty was knocked back a good 10 feet when everything that was comnbustible, and several things that weren't, burst into flames as John McClain fired his pistol from behind an overturned table.

Marty pulled out his pistol, only to discover he was out of ammo. all he had on him was a toothpick.

FCP

To say that Francis was taken aback by the news would be to woefully understate the matter. He became agitated, pacing frantically and muttering giberish.

"Francis, get ahold of yourself Goddamnit! I need help! I need answers! I need to get laid!"

"marty i am sorry" Francis managed to croak "i always hoped this would not happen to you"

"Hoped what wouldn't happen to me!? Francis, you tell me what the hell is going on right now!"

"marty the world will not end if you get assraped" Francis began to sob, and marty noticed he was trembling and sweating. "that assrape was meant for me"

Posted: Oct 10 2008 08:22 pm

Meanwhile...at Bluma's apartment...

"Yes I know I have stupid name!"
*Indistinct chatter on the other end of the phone*
"Well maybe I will change it! Listen I don't have time for this!"
*Indistinct chatter on the phone*
"I already told you Grandma! I'm going to change the world tonight, MUWHAHAHAHA!"
*Indistinct chatter on the phone*
"Really?! Sex in the City is out on DVD? Well since Marty is already running late maybe I'll ask him to pick it up for me."
*Indistinct chatter on the phone*
"I don't think he really has a choice, I'm going to be a pain in his ass tonight, that much I can garuntee."

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

Tired and weary Marty exited the building without giving his dead brother a second look.

He was confused about what his brother had said but realized that Francis was legally classified as an idiot and clearly had no idea about what he was saying.

As he made the way down the street he waved his hand trying to flag down a cab. A RedCab pulled over.

"Please sir, just bring me to the Airport."

It was barely a 20 minute drive and within a few minutes Marty had a one way ticket.

His cell phone rang just as he passed through the security gate. The caller ID showed Bluma's number.

Marty had a five minutes before his flight would begin to board so he decided to pick up the phone.

"Hey baby."
...

Posted: Oct 10 2008 08:41 pm

"Hey baby." Bastian read aloud, as a reminder of where he left off.

"This is some crazy shit right here..." he muttered to himself, as he pulled a small sandwich bag out from his coat pocket. The school's attic was extra chilly on this cold morning. He opened the plastic bag, and instead of drawing out a sandwich, he drew out a small green bud. He placed the bud into the bowl of his ivory carved pipe and tapped it in with love. He drew a bic lighter from his pocket and lifted the pipe to his lips while he flicked the bic, send flame into the bowl. He drew a deep breath and held it.

After a pause, he blew out a cloud of pungent green smoke.

He withdrew the pipe from his lips and looked at it. "Either this is a fucked up story, or this shit's laced...." he muttered. "Now where were we...."

He turned his attentions back to the book laid upon the dusty wooded floor.

"Oh yeah.... 'Hey baby...'"

Posted: Oct 10 2008 09:12 pm

*How the FUCK did I not put that in the 80's movie showdown!? Wow...just...WOW!

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

GPFontaine wrote:

Tired and weary Marty exited the building without giving his dead brother a second look.

He was confused about what his brother had said but realized that Francis was legally classified as an idiot and clearly had no idea about what he was saying.

As he made the way down the street he waved his hand trying to flag down a cab. A RedCab pulled over.

"Please sir, just bring me to the Airport."

It was barely a 20 minute drive and within a few minutes Marty had a one way ticket.

His cell phone rang just as he passed through the security gate. The caller ID showed

Bluma's number.

Marty had a five minutes before his flight would begin to board so he decided to pick up the phone.

"Hey baby."
...

FCP

. . . Meanwhile back at the highway.

"We are all and we are many. We are the Pussies That Cock Block."

The chanting tribe of the PTCB gather around the fresh grave of their fallen hero, UPTCB. The chief pussy looks up into the heavens and yells.

"She shall be avenged!!!!"

"Wait, he was a she?" one of the PTCB's muffled.

Back at the airport.

After A long talk with Bluma, which resulted in marty questioning his sexuality and wondering if Bluma was into threesomes because he had the perfect girl in mind to join in and maybe he could use her ass to save his ass-ginity. His phone then rings again, it's his Uncle Nworb.

"Marty! You won't believe this, i just invented the ultimate invention."

Marty rolled his eyes "What did you invent this time, Unk?"

"I invented a device that can allow people to travel back into the past and alter the course of reality. I call it the FCP! I've already used it twice!!!!"

Marty thought for a moment. "Now that you mention it i do remember something about being blowing into the sky and getting in to a gun fight with John McCain. Then something about that guy from 'Ever Bending Lorry' getting High. Damn that was an awesome porno. Oh shit, it;s my flight, got to go Unk, talk to you latter."

"Marty, wait whatever you do, you must protect your brother's ass, it's the source of a fraction of the FCP's power and if used unwisely it could case . . ."

Marty then hangs up the phone and runs off . . .

Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

*we need to stop using fcp

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

hacker wrote:

*we need to stop using fcp

That or limit it. So far we've only had to use it twice.

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Oct 10 2008 11:15 pm

*This FCP thing could lead to people just rewriting things they don't like, as opposed to just rewriting crap. A suggestion: Using it is your post for the day. You use it, and the next person who comes along rewrites from where it derailed...or keeps it going if they can.

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Oct 10 2008 11:22 pm

...Meanwhile, at PTBC headquarters...

"Can we do anything, Doc?"

"Mayve, Mayve...Vat happened to her?"

"Psychotic plumber capped her while she was trying to stop...HIM"

"Ach! Zat happens more times than I likke to advit. Zo...he got avay?"

"Yeah. And we're after him. But we're probably not strong enough. We need UPTBC to stop him. For the good of cockblockers everywhere. And the universe."

"I zee...I can help. In fact, I can make her better zen bevore...Ze ULTIMATE UPTBC, iv you vill. It vill take a little time...and I need ze lab. And a lot ov metal. And a sandvich. Extra zourkraut."

"I'll let the others know. They'll get you whatever you need. I'll go dig her up. I'll leave you to your work now...Dr. Hitler."

Posted: Oct 10 2008 11:36 pm

"ZAT'S PROFESSOR HITLER, YOU MORONS! Now leave."

(cut to pallet town)
" Come on Pickachu, let's go!" yelled Ash triumphantly as he left on a long journey. "I hope no rivals show up."

"Hey, kid!" yelled a voice. "that's a pretty cool creature you got there. Wanna battle?"

Ash sighed as he turned around, expecting to see Gary, but instead, It was Tai and Agumon.

"WOAH!" they both yelled. "That's no Pokemon!" yelled Ash

"And that's not a Digimon. I fear our dimensions have been intertwined by the use... of a Flux Capacitor. The only way to fix this is by finding the one being affected the most by the capacitor's powers... And KILL HIM." Tai started walking away. "You comin'?"

"Uh..Oh yeah. Sure." muttered Ash.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

*How about this we each make our own insane story and just roll with it?, following the rules of course. Thatguy seems to be taking a variety show attempt at his additions, which seem like going from the Warners then to Pinky and the Brain then to some acid trip Hentai.