I'm a BIG fan of the EP. Yes, the EP--a short number of songs, half an album, a tiny but tubular tidbit of totally tasty tracks that doesn't take you too long to listen TO! (too many T’s? Awww fuck it.) So I was thinking about this today and I thought I would post a few examples of albums that COULD BE chopped in half and basically become EP's (made possible by the inexplicable magic that occurs every time you tap the 'delete' button on your keyboard!) The problem is this; most artists write 5 or 6 AWESOME songs. And instead of just releasing this material as an EP, they think "Hey! What if we write like 6 or 7 SHITTY songs and combine them with those GOOD songs we have and call it a full-length album!" And this sucks, because recently I find myself having to delete many tracks off albums I don't like in order to make it 'Listenable' to me, therefore making me feel guilty for editing the original artistic vision of the band/artist. That or if I own the actual CD and I'm playing it in the car, I have to skip past songs I hate or just can't stand listening to, not because I'm THAT fucking picky, but because way too many bands release mediocre shit when they should have just released an EP in the first place, JEEEEEZZZZ! Whew!!! Anyhoot, here goes:

METALLICA - BLACK ALBUM

Is there REALLY any good reason to include “Holier Than Thou”, “Don’t Tread On Me”, “Through The Never”, “The God That Failed”, “My Friend Of Misery” or “The Struggle Within” on this BLACK thing Metallica released in 1991!? I say “Fuck no, there IS NOT!” If they released this as an EP with half the songs, it would have been FINE. Can you honestly tell me you enjoy those other 6 songs the way you enjoy the good 6 I’m not excluding? Really? Well then YOU are a goddamned LIAR! Here’s my new track list:

Enter Sandman
Sad But True
The Unforgiven
Wherever I May Roam
Nothing Else Matters
Of Wolf And Man (because werewolves are awesome)

And….DONE!

BEATLES - SGT. PEPPER

Some of the songs on this album just plain BLOW. It should have been released as an EP instead, more time to drop LSD and protest war & junk eh? Here is what I would have done:

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
With A Little Help From My Friends
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds (see! LSD!!!!)
Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite!
Lovely Rita
A Day In The Life
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)

Bam! Done! No need for all that wimpy sissy pop shit Paul wanted on there or that Indian curry nonsense George was pushing….. Those tracks are what really matter right?

NINE INCH NAILS - THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL

Too much weirdo shit going on here. But there are some great songs that we wanna hear and that’s why I have EP’d this sucker as well! Here’s my new track list:

Mr. Self Destruct
Piggy
Heresy
March Of The Pigs
Closer
Hurt

Yeah, those are the only songs I listen to when I throw this one on.

So there you have it, a few examples of albums that (in my opinion) contain a lot of BS filler that probably isn’t necessary and could have just been scrapped. I will add more as time goes on. Your thoughts?

GUNS N’ ROSES - USE YOUR ILLUSIONS (I & II CONDENSED INTO ONE LP)

It was pretty cool back in the 90’s when GNR dropped these two albums on the world, blowing our minds with exciting music videos and amazing, fiery rock n’ roll that rocked our socks the fuck off! What was kinda dumb was having to put in another tape (or CD) to hear the other handful of gems on the OTHER album instead of just including them all on one LP! Let’s face it, not all the songs are great. There’s plenty illusion there that GNR DIDN’T HAVE TO USE.. Here is what I would have done:

Right Next Door To Hell
Live And Let Die
Don’t Cry
Double Talkin’ Jive
You Could Be Mine
Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door
Estranged
Civil War
Yesterdays
Don’t Damn Me
Locomotive
November Rain

Sure, It hurts me to take a lot of those tracks away. After all, we are toying with pieces of the soundtrack to my childhood here, and I am not saying I HATE the other songs completely. What I am saying is that the tracks I listed above are the gravy tracks, and being such, they should exist together on one album, one piece of solid work you can listen to from start to finish without changing anything around or switching discs. Two great records fused together to form one single illusion of pure rosy gunishness…

Oh and “My World” sucks. Also, I realize Geffen already did this, but I think their track list sucked. They included BOTH versions of "Don't Cry" and cut out "Locomotive" in favor of "The Garden". Blech!

And then there's this: http://www.disenfranchisedfm.com/uyi.html

JRA wrote:

I'm of the opinion that an album shouldn't be more than 9 songs. The best double album was Jimi Hendrix Electric Ladyland. An album which fits just fine onto a single CD. nuff said. OP, you think all those good songs should be cut from the Black Album but Nothing Else Matters should stay. You are a fool.

Yeah idk, just have a soft spot for that song in my heart I guess. But "Struggle Within" blows and so do a couple other ones on there. Oh, the "Don't Tread On Me" song, which is about...idk, I just don't like it. I know tons of dumb rednecks who hang flags that say that off their trailers and point to it and shit, which makes that song blow in my mind. But yeah, most albums should be 8 or 9 GOOD songs and that's it. I hate when bands record a 20 songs CD and only 7 or so tracks are actually good.

Bob Dylan`s Blues wrote:

Personal opinion: Most songs on Sgt. Pepper suck. That is seriously one of the worst albums I've ever heard. A Day In The Life, Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite and A Little Help From My Friends are the only good songs on the album.

I sort of agree with you. Either way, if it ABSOLUTELY had to be released, they should have cut some stuff out. But that's The Silver Beatles for ya! Piling on all that unnecessary shit (actually I think that's why they eventually broke up, everyone wanted like 10 fucking tracks on each record). My favorite Beatles album is Abbey Road though. Had it on vinyl as a kid and listened to it all the time.

Best example of an album that's packed full of BS filler is BEASTIE BOYS - CHECK YOUR HEAD. There are a few good songs on that one but the rest is all just little jam sessions, unfinished songs and stupid weird bullshit. 20 fucking tracks and the only good ones are "Jimmy James", "Pass The Mic", "Gratitude" and "So What'cha Want". I mean holy shit, they had like 4 good tracks and just piled on 16 random jam sessions and skits.

Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed
9 songs and every single one kicks ass. No fuckin' around, just str8 up RAWK! And blues..... that too.